Stealing

How do you deal with a 14 year old who has stolen from you?

With difficulty that's how.........

It has been a hard couple of weeks in the Wiglet household and I've not had much time on the net. I've got to try and get hold of some old friends who seem to have had troubles with my new email addy too today as well as I do NOT want to lose them....That would be worse than anything I could bare to think about! Also must phone a friend 'up north' at some point this week as I keep forgetting about that too. She's had an appointment with her pain person and I'd love to catch up on how that went and general chitchat that goes with it. I love our natters.

But back to the 14 stealing......I've had this doubt for a couple of weeks but you know when you cannot quite believe it to be true? How could your own daughter be stealing from you? At first she admitted to it being 45pence here and there but finally she has admitted it's been in total £25 with £15 in one day from her father's wallet. How he didn't notice that is beyond me. He's taking it all personally instead of seeing that actually he has a part to play here. I don't mean to blame him as my daughter has to take responsibility for her actions but so does my husband.
You see, we made an agreement that my husband pays out pocket money every Sunday and he keeps 'forgetting'. If he forgets then it is letting the children down and hardly fair to them. Four weeks ago our daughter was banned from gettting her pocket money and THAT was the week she stole the £15, but she had been taking the smaller items of money over a period of over days before that because my husband had not been paying out. It's OK for me to say "Don't worry I've noted down every single penny you should be getting paid", however, the kids are not getting ANYTHING! This is totally unjust and it is driving me insane. My issue of course is I am disabled and find it so hard to get about and so leave it to the husband to be responsible to something ie the pocket money. He is their father after all!

I also have to ask my husband to leave me money so it is not just the kids who rely on him and if the children are going out I will ensure they are never short of a few quid and so I feel very let down today with my daughter and hurt by her actions.

So what did we do? I asked her why she needed the money? It was for topping up her phone (which is NEVER an issue and I will always give her money so I think it is more than that and will talk to her when hubby is not around)We told her she has to pay us back a pound a week. We felt asking her to pay us back all in one go is asking for trouble because she may see temptation in the way if she has no money and steal again. pound a week is good enough. We told her we need to be able to trust her and now that is difficult because she has broken that trust. I told her she must talk to me if she needs money for whatever reason......And have just caught her alone after hubby has gone off on his own and yes the money was for topping up phone, going to the pier with friends after school and generally cheering herself up with chocolate. This worries me enormously.....my daughter is comfort eating constantly, underweight (though not massively but enough for us to worry) and hiding chocolate wrappers in her bedroom. She is NOT binge eating nor vommiting food she eats for her dinners but she is using foods we all know give us a natural high. We have spoken to a counsellor and we have tried to get our daughter to speak to a counsellor but she's not ready to do this and so until then we are speaking to the counsellor and getting support from her; this has been hugely helpful. Oh there's another reason why my daughter steals from her dad and not me, its because she doesn't like him much.

My husband has been very ............Oh I can't think of the word? He's been such hard work again and we've argued again today before any of this started. It is not a good day and he has taken our daughter's actions personally which is silly? He needs to speak to someone on his own.....I wish he would do this now as I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this marriage like this. I feel like I am existing and I'm very very unhappy.

I'd love to be romanced. Candles on the table, dinner cooked.....salmon would be nice with a sauce of some description, then a pud to follow. A couple of glasses of wine to wash it all down with and Bob's your uncle.
Alas that never happens with my man. Either I cook with my pain levels or it DOES NOT HAPPEN...................Think I need to stop crying and now I have another reason possibly why my daughter stole from her dad? Maybe she is getting revenge for me? I don't think she understands that though, I do.