I have a website!
I am in in print!!!!!! That is where I have been. It's called Surviving Chronic Pain and it is going to contain all of those useful bits of information that I can't put here because they would get lost the blog entries. I can't say I have been that busy during the day because I started it in the middle of the night as a wim - or is it whim? Oh my spelling is appalling. Thought I'd better say hello and let everyone know I'm alive. Feeling JADED but OK.
Mousegate is ..........Looking like the little sods are on the way out. YIIIPPPEEE!
Will have time for a better entry tomorrow. But until then sleep tight (It's late here)
X
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
My Oscars
Who would I give my oscars too? 
My friends and family isn't it obvious!!!!!!!!
Rubgy score - Draw.
Daughter bedroom tidy update - She's freaked out enough this time to tidy it properly and has done a good job. She's also completed all of her homework and this is thanks to 'Student review day', where her deputy head of year listed all of the teachers who noted 'homeworks not completed on time' to us and it was nearly all of them!!!!
Tomorrows jobs - Phone school to sort out one teacher who never sets homework but who seems to allow the kids to walk in and out of his class/talk constantly/never get on with their work/need I go on? Speak to head of subject to move daughter out of said class with immediate effect if possible if not charge school for cost of tutor.
Hoping tonight will be a good one and mousegate is nearly at the end. Peanut butter and bird seed have been placed on trap down stairs and hopefully mastermouse who has clevery got passed it last night, will not manage it tonight.
Welcome to Hollywood!
My friends and family isn't it obvious!!!!!!!!
Rubgy score - Draw.
Daughter bedroom tidy update - She's freaked out enough this time to tidy it properly and has done a good job. She's also completed all of her homework and this is thanks to 'Student review day', where her deputy head of year listed all of the teachers who noted 'homeworks not completed on time' to us and it was nearly all of them!!!!
Tomorrows jobs - Phone school to sort out one teacher who never sets homework but who seems to allow the kids to walk in and out of his class/talk constantly/never get on with their work/need I go on? Speak to head of subject to move daughter out of said class with immediate effect if possible if not charge school for cost of tutor.
Hoping tonight will be a good one and mousegate is nearly at the end. Peanut butter and bird seed have been placed on trap down stairs and hopefully mastermouse who has clevery got passed it last night, will not manage it tonight.
Welcome to Hollywood!
Last night was a night I had prayed for
I stayed awake until 12.30am because that is when I normally hear the scurrying sound starting. I'd already had to deal with my son till 11.15 because he had refused to sleep in his bed again without my husband sleeping in the same room.
All was fine and hubby was going to sleep there - He only wanted to watch a bit of football till 11.40! So in the end I'd agreed for my son to fall asleep in my bed again just I had the night before. It's been so strange for the past 3 days to have either one of my kidlets in the same bed with me. You don't expect a 13 or 11 year old to be there but it's been so nice to have the extra hugs with my daughter in particular because I don't get them! Teenagers want to pull away from you not to be near you. My son is different, he's still my little man (although I dare not let him hear me say that). We had a cross word last evening and we both hate it when that happens because we are very close both in personality and in relationship. Seeing him sleeping is just like when he was a baby.....But right now he is so frightened because of 'mousegate' and I feel so very much for him. My husband had earlier gone to his room and beaten the bed' to ensure no nasties hiding in it but there was no chance of my son staying in bed. I found him standing by his bedroom door looking sheepish with his clock. "Dad said he'd be 10 minutes!" Hmmm No actually the program had another 50 minutes to run at that point and I suspect my husband got his timings wrong or thought our son was that tired that he would crash out. I actually got my son to get onto his bed which is one of those high ones.
"No mice can climb up chrome legs" I pleaded with him
"They can climb up my curtains!"
"Yes maybe , but how do they jump across to your bed and then how to they get down again? I have never seen a mouse with a parachute have you?" I thought a bit of light humour might cheer him along but not even that worked.
So I went and told hubby where our lad would be and we snuggled under my duvet which he had no worries about. Thankfully the footie match was boring and hubby came up five minutes later and so off to his own bed he went and I watched Liar Liar with Jim Carey which is enough to drive any rodents away!!!!!!
So mousegate........Hubby brought yet another trap yesterday which brings us to 3 now and enough poison to kill goodness knows how many. We have sealed off the dining room to all of us as we think the air brick in there is where the damn things came in because that is where they came in before. (Visual evidence also indicates this) The mouse noisy-thingy-mag-gig seems also to be doing it's job and last night there were no signs upstairs of any mice. Downstairs though we have a clever mouse who managed to take a peanut off the mousetrap without activating it....Images of this clever mouse dressed in black, with ropes and a crampons, guiding itself down onto the nut come to mind. Peanut butter is going on it tonight and if that mouse is still alive lets see if it's that clever this time! I'd rather it was caught that way as I've said before as the thought of the poison death is horrible.
Plans for the day. Firstly I must wish my son GOOD LUCK. He's playing rugby today and it's first and second teams so I don't know how long he'll be playing for? Could be ten minutes, could be thirty? I shall watch the girls sing on American Idol as I dozed off on Friday night and missed some of them sing. I like Idol but I've been on the American forums and they are as mad as the Big Brother forums! In fact if you don't support someone they come and beat up your pet mouse which is handy for me. Lunch today is Lamb and my daughter is cooking it once her room is tidied so that may mean lunch is at supper time? Who knows?
Long entry.....Tally ho!
All was fine and hubby was going to sleep there - He only wanted to watch a bit of football till 11.40! So in the end I'd agreed for my son to fall asleep in my bed again just I had the night before. It's been so strange for the past 3 days to have either one of my kidlets in the same bed with me. You don't expect a 13 or 11 year old to be there but it's been so nice to have the extra hugs with my daughter in particular because I don't get them! Teenagers want to pull away from you not to be near you. My son is different, he's still my little man (although I dare not let him hear me say that). We had a cross word last evening and we both hate it when that happens because we are very close both in personality and in relationship. Seeing him sleeping is just like when he was a baby.....But right now he is so frightened because of 'mousegate' and I feel so very much for him. My husband had earlier gone to his room and beaten the bed' to ensure no nasties hiding in it but there was no chance of my son staying in bed. I found him standing by his bedroom door looking sheepish with his clock. "Dad said he'd be 10 minutes!" Hmmm No actually the program had another 50 minutes to run at that point and I suspect my husband got his timings wrong or thought our son was that tired that he would crash out. I actually got my son to get onto his bed which is one of those high ones.
"No mice can climb up chrome legs" I pleaded with him
"They can climb up my curtains!"
"Yes maybe , but how do they jump across to your bed and then how to they get down again? I have never seen a mouse with a parachute have you?" I thought a bit of light humour might cheer him along but not even that worked.
So I went and told hubby where our lad would be and we snuggled under my duvet which he had no worries about. Thankfully the footie match was boring and hubby came up five minutes later and so off to his own bed he went and I watched Liar Liar with Jim Carey which is enough to drive any rodents away!!!!!!
So mousegate........Hubby brought yet another trap yesterday which brings us to 3 now and enough poison to kill goodness knows how many. We have sealed off the dining room to all of us as we think the air brick in there is where the damn things came in because that is where they came in before. (Visual evidence also indicates this) The mouse noisy-thingy-mag-gig seems also to be doing it's job and last night there were no signs upstairs of any mice. Downstairs though we have a clever mouse who managed to take a peanut off the mousetrap without activating it....Images of this clever mouse dressed in black, with ropes and a crampons, guiding itself down onto the nut come to mind. Peanut butter is going on it tonight and if that mouse is still alive lets see if it's that clever this time! I'd rather it was caught that way as I've said before as the thought of the poison death is horrible.
Plans for the day. Firstly I must wish my son GOOD LUCK. He's playing rugby today and it's first and second teams so I don't know how long he'll be playing for? Could be ten minutes, could be thirty? I shall watch the girls sing on American Idol as I dozed off on Friday night and missed some of them sing. I like Idol but I've been on the American forums and they are as mad as the Big Brother forums! In fact if you don't support someone they come and beat up your pet mouse which is handy for me. Lunch today is Lamb and my daughter is cooking it once her room is tidied so that may mean lunch is at supper time? Who knows?
Long entry.....Tally ho!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I need SLEEP ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
If you see me suddenly type likkkeeeeeeeee thiiiiiiiissssssssss then you knowwwww I haaaaaaaaaaveeeeee fallen asleeeeeeeeeep while typing out a letter or six!
I am SO tired!
I slept a little last night because I literally have not had any sleep since the early hours of Monday morning and all because of MOUSEGATE!
We now know it is a serious problem so forgive me if I am not my normally bubbly communicative self. My pain levels have sky rocketed as I suppose is understandable and I am lying in bed here at 4 minutes before midday feeling like yuck (So that's any different then?) Yes, it's one of those worse days today where I can't cope and wish these bloody things were out of my house. We've brought a third trap and yes I know it's inhuman but right now I don't care. They're working! 3 dead mice but still noises in the night and not my imagination because hubby hears them too. We've also brought a gadget which gives out ultrasound noises that mice hate the sound of and apparently they pack their bags and leave. My kids had me giggling with their mental images when they said how maybe it might take a couple of days because they might need to find a new home first and put a deposit down.
Going to ask my cleaning lady if she wants to earn some extra money but this is stupid because most of my house is tidy.........Then enter the teenager's bedroom! (Bless her)
I am SO tired!
I slept a little last night because I literally have not had any sleep since the early hours of Monday morning and all because of MOUSEGATE!We now know it is a serious problem so forgive me if I am not my normally bubbly communicative self. My pain levels have sky rocketed as I suppose is understandable and I am lying in bed here at 4 minutes before midday feeling like yuck (So that's any different then?) Yes, it's one of those worse days today where I can't cope and wish these bloody things were out of my house. We've brought a third trap and yes I know it's inhuman but right now I don't care. They're working! 3 dead mice but still noises in the night and not my imagination because hubby hears them too. We've also brought a gadget which gives out ultrasound noises that mice hate the sound of and apparently they pack their bags and leave. My kids had me giggling with their mental images when they said how maybe it might take a couple of days because they might need to find a new home first and put a deposit down.
Going to ask my cleaning lady if she wants to earn some extra money but this is stupid because most of my house is tidy.........Then enter the teenager's bedroom! (Bless her)
Friday, February 23, 2007
The morning after the night before
Jerry died last night in a tragic accident involving a piece of chees and mousetrap.
Yes totally inhumane but we have had mice before and it gets to the point when drastic action must be taken. And as for the piece of cheese that was a slight fib......it was a mound of peanuts. The common misconception is mice like cheese but no, they like things to grind down their incisors on. You wouldn't believe how much I now know on those darn rodents.
Hubby's view that they don't like lavender is also wrong! Mind you I know that spraying lavender air freshner under the bed every time I heard a noise helped the situation enormously. Maybe this particular one (called Lisa) doesn't like air freshner sprayed in her direction no matter what the smell? I'm secretly hoping it's the same one that is in the mouse trap but somehow I think not? They breed like.......ummm MICE don't they?
The thought of this is freaking me but I must not let it show. My son is completely beside himself although happier now that 'his' one has gone. He believes that other ones will not go into his room as they are not his plus we have found out mice do not like the smells of garlic, peppermint and eucalytus , particularly the last two mixed together.
Hopefully will get my son to have some rest today as kept him off school. He only got a couple of hours of sleep and I felt it was unfair to send him. My daughter was different and although she wasn't happy, she went. She slept much better and hardly stirred each time I sprayed the little bugger with my trusty lavender airfreshner gun.
On with the day
Yes totally inhumane but we have had mice before and it gets to the point when drastic action must be taken. And as for the piece of cheese that was a slight fib......it was a mound of peanuts. The common misconception is mice like cheese but no, they like things to grind down their incisors on. You wouldn't believe how much I now know on those darn rodents.
Hubby's view that they don't like lavender is also wrong! Mind you I know that spraying lavender air freshner under the bed every time I heard a noise helped the situation enormously. Maybe this particular one (called Lisa) doesn't like air freshner sprayed in her direction no matter what the smell? I'm secretly hoping it's the same one that is in the mouse trap but somehow I think not? They breed like.......ummm MICE don't they?
The thought of this is freaking me but I must not let it show. My son is completely beside himself although happier now that 'his' one has gone. He believes that other ones will not go into his room as they are not his plus we have found out mice do not like the smells of garlic, peppermint and eucalytus , particularly the last two mixed together.
Hopefully will get my son to have some rest today as kept him off school. He only got a couple of hours of sleep and I felt it was unfair to send him. My daughter was different and although she wasn't happy, she went. She slept much better and hardly stirred each time I sprayed the little bugger with my trusty lavender airfreshner gun.
On with the day
MICE!!!!!
Oh hell!
It's plural!
Yesterday evening at about 8.30pm, my son saw a mouse scurry across his bedroom floor and ever since then it has been 'mousegate'. He ran into my room, I was already half way up and of course we both became captives to my bed. Seconds later my daughter (who was downstairs but hates to be left out) came up and joined in the game of 'How many shaking people can you fit on one bed'.
Hubby, who had only just came back from an options taster evening with my daughter but had raging stomach pains due to 'wolfing down supper', went downstairs to get "A huge bit of plastic which will do the job!" Didn't know what hubby meant by that? Was he going pick the mouse up with plastic and then put it in a little cage till we could release it in the country? (To be eaten by a fox) or was he going to sufficate it? Didn't get the chance to find out because while we were all crouching on my bed, we could hear a scratching sound coming from underneath!!!!!
OH FOR (*^*&*(*&*^^%&)())
I'm sure you can translate the above?
Earlier today hubby had wired the house full of traps and poison and I cried when he wanted to put a trap in our room. The thought of hearing it go off fills me with both sadness (as it is still an animal after all) but also revultion. I think I would prefer Jerry (the names were to get the kids to sleep in the same house so they named them), to fall and tragically (for him) break his neck while clambering somewhere. It is now nearly 2am and I don't care how Jerry and his/her family die, I just want them out of here.
My son won't sleep in his bed and is currently downstairs with my husband. An hour ago a scream went up but hubby says he's dealing with it so I mustn't interfere. My daughter is gently snoring next to me and has slept through Jerry's return. I've been spraying lavender air freshner as mice hate that BUT SO DO I!
This is my third sleepless night. Might suggest my son swaps with me if I hear no more but I suspect in a few minutes or so it will start again.
Looking into moving out for a few days or so while the problem is sorted.........Who would blame us?
It's plural!
Yesterday evening at about 8.30pm, my son saw a mouse scurry across his bedroom floor and ever since then it has been 'mousegate'. He ran into my room, I was already half way up and of course we both became captives to my bed. Seconds later my daughter (who was downstairs but hates to be left out) came up and joined in the game of 'How many shaking people can you fit on one bed'.
Hubby, who had only just came back from an options taster evening with my daughter but had raging stomach pains due to 'wolfing down supper', went downstairs to get "A huge bit of plastic which will do the job!" Didn't know what hubby meant by that? Was he going pick the mouse up with plastic and then put it in a little cage till we could release it in the country? (To be eaten by a fox) or was he going to sufficate it? Didn't get the chance to find out because while we were all crouching on my bed, we could hear a scratching sound coming from underneath!!!!!
OH FOR (*^*&*(*&*^^%&)())
I'm sure you can translate the above?
Earlier today hubby had wired the house full of traps and poison and I cried when he wanted to put a trap in our room. The thought of hearing it go off fills me with both sadness (as it is still an animal after all) but also revultion. I think I would prefer Jerry (the names were to get the kids to sleep in the same house so they named them), to fall and tragically (for him) break his neck while clambering somewhere. It is now nearly 2am and I don't care how Jerry and his/her family die, I just want them out of here.
My son won't sleep in his bed and is currently downstairs with my husband. An hour ago a scream went up but hubby says he's dealing with it so I mustn't interfere. My daughter is gently snoring next to me and has slept through Jerry's return. I've been spraying lavender air freshner as mice hate that BUT SO DO I!
This is my third sleepless night. Might suggest my son swaps with me if I hear no more but I suspect in a few minutes or so it will start again.
Looking into moving out for a few days or so while the problem is sorted.........Who would blame us?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Disability!
I forgot to mention this and it's important!!!!!
Two and a half years ago I applied for 'Disability Living Allowance', Here's a link which you can have a butchers (look)at; http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Bfsl1/BenefitsAndFinancialSupport/DG_10018702 This takes you to more links etc and is SO she said sarcastically) exciting.
Briefly though there are two rates of the 'mobility' and three rates of the 'care' aspect of the allowance package. At first I was awarded for three years, the middle rate of the care allowance but the lower rate of mobility which didn't actually make sense as I couldn't get around and in my view at that time, my mobility was worse than my personal needs. I re-contacted the government department and was promptly awarded the higher rate of mobility.
For some strange reason, earlier last year I recieved a letter from said government dept, saying my care allowance was being awarded for as long as I needed it or in other words for life. The motability was still for three years. My three years is up in May but then last November I was sent my renewel pack and when I hadn't replied within a month, I was sent a letter stating if I didn't send the forms back (the BOOKLET of about 60 pages actually), it would be presumed that I no longer needed disability living allowance???????WHAT! No chance of that.
So I filled out the forms and wrote down every doctor/physio/social worker/acupuncturist/hairdresser! (lol) I see. A month ago a letter came back to say my 60 page form was under review and "Could take up to 11 weeks"! Well it did not take 11 weeks, it took about 4-5 weeks because today I have been awarded the same as I had before but BOTH for the rest of my life. If I need extra help then all I need to do is contact them and it could be increased but I don't think it will be unless I'm in real trouble and if that was the case hubby would be doing the contacting. This information is based upon my 60 page 'form' and my GP's report too......I feel good in that I do not have to feel out the forms anymore but I don't feel good because this is as good as it gets.
Two and a half years ago I applied for 'Disability Living Allowance', Here's a link which you can have a butchers (look)at; http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Bfsl1/BenefitsAndFinancialSupport/DG_10018702 This takes you to more links etc and is SO she said sarcastically) exciting.
Briefly though there are two rates of the 'mobility' and three rates of the 'care' aspect of the allowance package. At first I was awarded for three years, the middle rate of the care allowance but the lower rate of mobility which didn't actually make sense as I couldn't get around and in my view at that time, my mobility was worse than my personal needs. I re-contacted the government department and was promptly awarded the higher rate of mobility.
For some strange reason, earlier last year I recieved a letter from said government dept, saying my care allowance was being awarded for as long as I needed it or in other words for life. The motability was still for three years. My three years is up in May but then last November I was sent my renewel pack and when I hadn't replied within a month, I was sent a letter stating if I didn't send the forms back (the BOOKLET of about 60 pages actually), it would be presumed that I no longer needed disability living allowance???????WHAT! No chance of that.
So I filled out the forms and wrote down every doctor/physio/social worker/acupuncturist/hairdresser! (lol) I see. A month ago a letter came back to say my 60 page form was under review and "Could take up to 11 weeks"! Well it did not take 11 weeks, it took about 4-5 weeks because today I have been awarded the same as I had before but BOTH for the rest of my life. If I need extra help then all I need to do is contact them and it could be increased but I don't think it will be unless I'm in real trouble and if that was the case hubby would be doing the contacting. This information is based upon my 60 page 'form' and my GP's report too......I feel good in that I do not have to feel out the forms anymore but I don't feel good because this is as good as it gets.
Ups and downs
That mouse! 
No, not that one?
I wish it was mighty mouse! I could rub him out instead of knowing that another method of destruction was going to be bestowed upon the horrible little rodent. No I don't like them but I don't really want to see it dead either......But I don't want it as a pet like my friend has done with her one that lives under the stairs. The thought brings shudders down my spine (which do not do me any good whatsoever).
No, not that one?
I wish it was mighty mouse! I could rub him out instead of knowing that another method of destruction was going to be bestowed upon the horrible little rodent. No I don't like them but I don't really want to see it dead either......But I don't want it as a pet like my friend has done with her one that lives under the stairs. The thought brings shudders down my spine (which do not do me any good whatsoever).I've got to put a call out to Metijo and say YES I have your emails and I have sent you a reply and it's lovely to hear from you, ya mad Aussie! (Love n hugs too). Another hugfest to Anin who would actually I think hate the thought of gushy sentimentality but I think the fact that she knows I'm thinking about her will make her feel better about herself. I look up to her......Even though she's only 3 feet high! 
She got me through my spinal ops because she's had them too. I have other friends who have also had TCS surgery and they played their own unique parts too and I'll be honest and say it often, I'm a lucky girl to have such brilliant friends. The thing is I hate to think of any of them feeling down and as long as I am able to do something I will try and help. If I'm in that black hole of depression then I can do bugger ! However I can 'think positive thoughts'
She got me through my spinal ops because she's had them too. I have other friends who have also had TCS surgery and they played their own unique parts too and I'll be honest and say it often, I'm a lucky girl to have such brilliant friends. The thing is I hate to think of any of them feeling down and as long as I am able to do something I will try and help. If I'm in that black hole of depression then I can do bugger ! However I can 'think positive thoughts'A couple of other points, my 'new' google email is rubbish and I've decided not to go with them after all. Everyone has my 'old' email addy but I will be sending out my alternative one as well.....I'm pretty tired today and don't know how my emails will be as I'm falling asleep typing quite a bit so lotsssssssssss of thisssssssssssss (lol). No sleep due to the bl***y mouse but hopefully it will find my daughter's bedroom and if so she'll realise SHE MUST TIDY IT! ........I owe loads of emails yet again and I bet people think I've become stuck to something in that daughter of mine's bedroom? Actually that could happen - It's vile enough.......
TTFN
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
There's a MOUSE in the HOUSE!
It's now 6.22am but I've been awake all night. Hubby is at work for another hour and I kept hearing noises..........And I swear there is a mouse in the house! I dare not look because if I find it I will scream the place down and wake the kids so have decided to wait for another half an hour and then scream as my daughter could do with the alarm clock and me screetching would be such a laugh (for me but not for her - Oh I can see the anoyance in her eyes now but don't mean to sound horrible, however anoyne with a teenager will now what its like normally in the mornings and it ain't nice!!!!).
Will tell the husband about the vermin when he gets home.......Oh there goes my son's clock......I'm sooooooo tired and dozed off writting this sentence! T)*&(^^*&() The good news is that my pain levels are lower and that is fantastic on all counts. My cleaning lady is due tomorrow and she'll make my rooms gleam which wi.
It is now 8.08am and I've been dozey ever since and typing this while half asleep.
So tired yet need to sort that bl***y mouse out and how the heck did it get in?
Will tell the husband about the vermin when he gets home.......Oh there goes my son's clock......I'm sooooooo tired and dozed off writting this sentence! T)*&(^^*&() The good news is that my pain levels are lower and that is fantastic on all counts. My cleaning lady is due tomorrow and she'll make my rooms gleam which wi.
It is now 8.08am and I've been dozey ever since and typing this while half asleep.
So tired yet need to sort that bl***y mouse out and how the heck did it get in?
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Kidlets
Oooooh.....What a morning.
Firstly yesterday afternoon I have to phone my daughter's school because I find out it's school profile day when we get to see and chat with the form tutor BUT my DD's form tutor tells my daughter she's not going to be there. I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS MY DAUGHTER! NOT A SOMEONE!
To cut a very long story short we have been to the school and we've spoken to the deputy head of year rather than a PE teacher who was covering the class and has never met my daugther. Grrrr.
The profile? Not bad but not good but on the other hand what we expected as we had spoken to class teachers. For those of you who have parents, you know what it's like to play the parenting game and you go along to these meetings and nod your head in the right places and smile when the teacher says nice things and look stern when the teacher says things you think you should look stern about but it's when you get out you start thinking about what you need to do?
Before we went in, we had such deep concerns because of what we had heard when speaking so a couple of teachers. A couple of departments (it appears) are failing apart. What do we do? Do we put our child in another state school which is not as good academically? Do we raid a bank and put our child into a private school? Really we do not have a choice because financially the costs are too high and we would not be able to support our kids through college should that be their choice. My son already knows he wants to go on into further education and we need to be fair on both of them. It's so hard.....
So anyway, what is rather odd is this, there are subjects that my daughter is doing well in and subjects that she is not doing well in and never the twain shall meet? French, Math, food tech, Textiles and PE are all fantastic and well above average expectations and her own expecations. History (she hates it), geography (no reason because she likes it), English (Oh hell, BIG problems with the teachers and need to speak to head of dept there). There's the inbetweenies too. All in all a fair profile and we must not complain but talk to the teachers who have had stern words;-
So why are we as parents so concerned?
Are we expecting too much? No.......Just love our beautiful clever......very good at Math daughter!
Firstly yesterday afternoon I have to phone my daughter's school because I find out it's school profile day when we get to see and chat with the form tutor BUT my DD's form tutor tells my daughter she's not going to be there. I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS MY DAUGHTER! NOT A SOMEONE!
To cut a very long story short we have been to the school and we've spoken to the deputy head of year rather than a PE teacher who was covering the class and has never met my daugther. Grrrr.
The profile? Not bad but not good but on the other hand what we expected as we had spoken to class teachers. For those of you who have parents, you know what it's like to play the parenting game and you go along to these meetings and nod your head in the right places and smile when the teacher says nice things and look stern when the teacher says things you think you should look stern about but it's when you get out you start thinking about what you need to do?
Before we went in, we had such deep concerns because of what we had heard when speaking so a couple of teachers. A couple of departments (it appears) are failing apart. What do we do? Do we put our child in another state school which is not as good academically? Do we raid a bank and put our child into a private school? Really we do not have a choice because financially the costs are too high and we would not be able to support our kids through college should that be their choice. My son already knows he wants to go on into further education and we need to be fair on both of them. It's so hard.....
So anyway, what is rather odd is this, there are subjects that my daughter is doing well in and subjects that she is not doing well in and never the twain shall meet? French, Math, food tech, Textiles and PE are all fantastic and well above average expectations and her own expecations. History (she hates it), geography (no reason because she likes it), English (Oh hell, BIG problems with the teachers and need to speak to head of dept there). There's the inbetweenies too. All in all a fair profile and we must not complain but talk to the teachers who have had stern words;-
So why are we as parents so concerned?
Are we expecting too much? No.......Just love our beautiful clever......very good at Math daughter!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Breakdown?
Not me.
A couple of days ago on my bigmouth blog I put a photo of Britney Spears http://pgbigmouth.blogspot.com/2007/02/britney-bald.html leaving a hairdressers after she had shaved off all of her hair. That picture/video clip has been shown so many times now and so many people are discussing WHY she did such a drastic thing and I wonder why too?
Britney Spears became such a massive star at such a young age and then again at a young age she became a mother, a wife and then her next step will be a divorcee. It looks as though she is on self destruct mode and those who were there pushing her to become a superstar at that young age are now nowhere to be seen?
Depending on which report you read, Britney also visited a tattoo parlor on the same day and had a further two designs added to the ones she already has. The owner has already cashed in on the 'Britney bandwagon' and spoken to the press and said the singer was "distraught and disturbed".
The owner of the hairdressing salon refused to shave Britney's head and it was Britney herself who took the shaver and took off her own locks (which are now on sale on eBay!)
Oh what else is there? Britney has also been in rehab for a total of 24 hours and then left to go and get this dramatic haircut .....No I don't mean literally she left to get the haircut but that's what happened.
From how it is being described, Britney Spears is not at all well and she's having some quite severe manic phases but unlike someone who is not famous, she's doing these strange acts completely in the public eye. Has she post natal depression? Her second child is only months old and it is possible. That and the divorce could be causing her disturbed state - And she may not be seeing it as such?
When I was depressed, I could not see my own erratic behaviour. I knew I wasn't well but could not admit it because I did not understand it? I don't know if that is what is going on with that poor woman but she has enough money to pay for the best care and I hope she gets it. I also hope those who pushed her to get to the top, now get with her because she quite obviously needs help.
A couple of days ago on my bigmouth blog I put a photo of Britney Spears http://pgbigmouth.blogspot.com/2007/02/britney-bald.html leaving a hairdressers after she had shaved off all of her hair. That picture/video clip has been shown so many times now and so many people are discussing WHY she did such a drastic thing and I wonder why too?
Britney Spears became such a massive star at such a young age and then again at a young age she became a mother, a wife and then her next step will be a divorcee. It looks as though she is on self destruct mode and those who were there pushing her to become a superstar at that young age are now nowhere to be seen?
Depending on which report you read, Britney also visited a tattoo parlor on the same day and had a further two designs added to the ones she already has. The owner has already cashed in on the 'Britney bandwagon' and spoken to the press and said the singer was "distraught and disturbed".
The owner of the hairdressing salon refused to shave Britney's head and it was Britney herself who took the shaver and took off her own locks (which are now on sale on eBay!)
Oh what else is there? Britney has also been in rehab for a total of 24 hours and then left to go and get this dramatic haircut .....No I don't mean literally she left to get the haircut but that's what happened.
From how it is being described, Britney Spears is not at all well and she's having some quite severe manic phases but unlike someone who is not famous, she's doing these strange acts completely in the public eye. Has she post natal depression? Her second child is only months old and it is possible. That and the divorce could be causing her disturbed state - And she may not be seeing it as such?
When I was depressed, I could not see my own erratic behaviour. I knew I wasn't well but could not admit it because I did not understand it? I don't know if that is what is going on with that poor woman but she has enough money to pay for the best care and I hope she gets it. I also hope those who pushed her to get to the top, now get with her because she quite obviously needs help.
Partners
Mine is driving me crazy as I write this so forgive any strange &*(^^%&(*&(( because they stand in for rude language 
Why is it HE loses items and expects ME to know where they are?
Why it is that I'm in severe pain but when he has a slight cold, he's worse off than me?
Why is it that when I forget something on the shopping list it's a major catastophe but when he forgets it isn't a problem?
Why is it that when he breaks an item of crokery he doesn't say anything but should anyone else he makes them feel terribly guilty because "That plate/cup/bowl/ (*whichever item suits) was antique" NO IT WASN'T, IT CAME FROM MARKS AND SPENCERS!
Yes, I hurt today and so I'm going to be one moody cow and if wants to cross me he'll be one foolish man.
...........Must go onto the M&S website and buy a new plate.
Why is it HE loses items and expects ME to know where they are?
Why it is that I'm in severe pain but when he has a slight cold, he's worse off than me?
Why is it that when I forget something on the shopping list it's a major catastophe but when he forgets it isn't a problem?
Why is it that when he breaks an item of crokery he doesn't say anything but should anyone else he makes them feel terribly guilty because "That plate/cup/bowl/ (*whichever item suits) was antique" NO IT WASN'T, IT CAME FROM MARKS AND SPENCERS!
Yes, I hurt today and so I'm going to be one moody cow and if wants to cross me he'll be one foolish man.
...........Must go onto the M&S website and buy a new plate.
The Wiglet files
Hello readers,
I've been rather busy over the past few days and even managed to get out with the kidlets.(Wooohoo) Yes for those who are not constantly chased by a pain monster that may not sound like an arduous task but for me it's like climbing a mountain.
Because I've been rushing around like a mad-arsed-fly, I'm now paying the price (again) and stuck in bed unable to move without that searing pain going up (or down) my back like a red hot poker.
Car news
The car - my beloved Saab 93 sportswagon
has gone for it's first service and yet another recall! It's second recall would you believe? This time though we have not noticed the recalled issue however we have a list of other little of and on niggles which need to be dealt with. This is the most expensive I've ever brought yet in fact the cheapest because of the motability scheme but if only I could drive it more? To do this I've got to get myself up to Surrey which is where they have a place where I can learn to drive with hand controls in a nice safe environment. I've put it off and continue to do so however, I cannot keep keep doing this.......The pain monster is always going to be there and I'm always going to have pain the following days every time I drive the car. Frustration and stubbornness are the only things stopping me.
I've been rather busy over the past few days and even managed to get out with the kidlets.(Wooohoo) Yes for those who are not constantly chased by a pain monster that may not sound like an arduous task but for me it's like climbing a mountain.
Because I've been rushing around like a mad-arsed-fly, I'm now paying the price (again) and stuck in bed unable to move without that searing pain going up (or down) my back like a red hot poker.
Car news
The car - my beloved Saab 93 sportswagon
has gone for it's first service and yet another recall! It's second recall would you believe? This time though we have not noticed the recalled issue however we have a list of other little of and on niggles which need to be dealt with. This is the most expensive I've ever brought yet in fact the cheapest because of the motability scheme but if only I could drive it more? To do this I've got to get myself up to Surrey which is where they have a place where I can learn to drive with hand controls in a nice safe environment. I've put it off and continue to do so however, I cannot keep keep doing this.......The pain monster is always going to be there and I'm always going to have pain the following days every time I drive the car. Frustration and stubbornness are the only things stopping me.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Daisy hugs
This is a message to my friend Daisy who I know is feeling very blue, I spoke to her a few days ago and she was so low and I am so worried about her. I know that feeling all too well, that feeling of desperateness of your situation and helplessness because you have reached a point when no one can truly help you.
Sometimes being disabled gets to you .......Sometimes it's the pain................sometimes it's friends walking away because they don't understand. It must be very difficult to see a friend who you care for greatly getting more and more disabled an struggling with more and more pain.
I'm not saying it is easy for other friends to get to grips with what we have to go through but in time most of them of do.
Planning to take the kids out for pizza today, I haven't taken them for pizza since my operation last March........And right now I keep falling asleep while I type this so I ought to stop.
Sometimes being disabled gets to you .......Sometimes it's the pain................sometimes it's friends walking away because they don't understand. It must be very difficult to see a friend who you care for greatly getting more and more disabled an struggling with more and more pain.
I'm not saying it is easy for other friends to get to grips with what we have to go through but in time most of them of do.
Planning to take the kids out for pizza today, I haven't taken them for pizza since my operation last March........And right now I keep falling asleep while I type this so I ought to stop.
Friday, February 16, 2007
ARRGGHH I could scream!
AND HAVE!
The Internet is driving kids and I crazy. It's been up and down more times today than a lady of the night's undies (Ooh I do declare). Right now I'm making the most of it as is my daughter who needs to catch up on the geography project which was supposed to be done over the half term break...hmmmmm FRIDAY and she decides to start it? So much for her new start?
My son was off today on one of his young carer's sessions doing break dancing and DJ-ing Yes of course my lad was fabulous and won himself a CD/MP3 player for throwing himself into the day - literally when it came to break dancing! I don't think I can do those moves even if I was in good health? you'd have to be double jointed???
I'd like to say hello to a couple of new readers who I'm cutting and pasting this for, One because her boss has decided that company policy does not allow blog reading anymore and the other still has not gone to that computer class yet but it won't be long will it?
Even if I cannot keep up with all my emails I am HERE. Today I've not yet gotten to my emails at all? Hopefully shortly but I still have to help my daughter with that geography homework and I've also opened up another fun blog. Wiglet now has her own amusement arcade which is going to be full of quizzes, jokes and fun filled frolics. At least I hope it will eventually will be. The ideas of the other two blogs are because that pain monster is a complete bugger and I need to keep my mind off him and anything that helps is a good idea isn't it?
Pressing publish in hope......
The Internet is driving kids and I crazy. It's been up and down more times today than a lady of the night's undies (Ooh I do declare). Right now I'm making the most of it as is my daughter who needs to catch up on the geography project which was supposed to be done over the half term break...hmmmmm FRIDAY and she decides to start it? So much for her new start?
My son was off today on one of his young carer's sessions doing break dancing and DJ-ing Yes of course my lad was fabulous and won himself a CD/MP3 player for throwing himself into the day - literally when it came to break dancing! I don't think I can do those moves even if I was in good health? you'd have to be double jointed???
I'd like to say hello to a couple of new readers who I'm cutting and pasting this for, One because her boss has decided that company policy does not allow blog reading anymore and the other still has not gone to that computer class yet but it won't be long will it?
Even if I cannot keep up with all my emails I am HERE. Today I've not yet gotten to my emails at all? Hopefully shortly but I still have to help my daughter with that geography homework and I've also opened up another fun blog. Wiglet now has her own amusement arcade which is going to be full of quizzes, jokes and fun filled frolics. At least I hope it will eventually will be. The ideas of the other two blogs are because that pain monster is a complete bugger and I need to keep my mind off him and anything that helps is a good idea isn't it?Pressing publish in hope......
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Does my bum look big in this?
My daughter's idea for a blog entry and 'bum' is UK for ass for my US friends by the way.......Oh and by the way, my bum does look big in everything! ![<span]()
ROTFL src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif" border=0>
The first defunct laptop arrived back this morning and with no receipt for the cost - Not surprising really as the screen is wobbling and I'm not happy! The good news is that I've still managed to keep ALL of my data and nothing has been lost (HOORAY). No viruses, no nothing apart from the memory being clogged up with too many things on it. My son is having the laptop now, Lucky boy.
Slight worry but I am going to do something about it and speaking openly about it will ensure I do! I think I have a gall bladder problem? I spoke to my acupuncturist and she's willing to bet money on it but has told me not to worry and go and speak to my GP when I'm next there. O lovely........As if I didn't need anything else?
The first defunct laptop arrived back this morning and with no receipt for the cost - Not surprising really as the screen is wobbling and I'm not happy! The good news is that I've still managed to keep ALL of my data and nothing has been lost (HOORAY). No viruses, no nothing apart from the memory being clogged up with too many things on it. My son is having the laptop now, Lucky boy.
Slight worry but I am going to do something about it and speaking openly about it will ensure I do! I think I have a gall bladder problem? I spoke to my acupuncturist and she's willing to bet money on it but has told me not to worry and go and speak to my GP when I'm next there. O lovely........As if I didn't need anything else?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Roses
I received a dozen red roses from my hubby today! I think after ...........(Trying to work out how many years we've been together!)..........It's 18 years next month. Yes after 18 years, hubby has finally got his romantic capabilities together. One hopes that it lasts!!!!!!Both my children received Valentine's cards today too - I wonder who sent those?
Quiet day. Not a lot happened so not much to say. Read Bigmouth instead!!! http://pgbigmouth.blogspot.com
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Spongebobsquarepants
Is it one word? Spongebobsquarepants?
Son is watching it hence why I've stuck it there and for no other reason.
Hope the world is well today? I'm OK and in fact feeling GOOD! I think that weekend away has really done me the world of good. It's energized me and given me back 'ME' again. I was able to do those things I thought I couldn't do and I found I could do them. What better way to find out I'm not as bad as I thought I was? I still can't run marathons of course but I can do little bits and bobs as long as I take it in portions and take a break in between those 'portions'.
Yesterday though I needed a break - I admit that.
So plans this week? It's half term holiday and the kids are off. My son is still suffering with a nasty cold which he picked up last week. He was sick again last night and had a slight temperature but is much better this morning thankfully. Hubby worked last night but only one night! He's off now till Friday too and I would imagine he'll do something with my son while my daughter is at the stables doing her horsey thing. Her school profile is due home at some point but we're yet to see it? Hmmm funny that? I'm waiting to see what the English teacher puts as I'm not at all happy with that one. I would like to get on with some things in the house. Get some tidying up done and clear throw away some more clutter!
Quote for the day
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.
Indira Gandhi (1917 - 1984)
Son is watching it hence why I've stuck it there and for no other reason.
Hope the world is well today? I'm OK and in fact feeling GOOD! I think that weekend away has really done me the world of good. It's energized me and given me back 'ME' again. I was able to do those things I thought I couldn't do and I found I could do them. What better way to find out I'm not as bad as I thought I was? I still can't run marathons of course but I can do little bits and bobs as long as I take it in portions and take a break in between those 'portions'.
Yesterday though I needed a break - I admit that.
So plans this week? It's half term holiday and the kids are off. My son is still suffering with a nasty cold which he picked up last week. He was sick again last night and had a slight temperature but is much better this morning thankfully. Hubby worked last night but only one night! He's off now till Friday too and I would imagine he'll do something with my son while my daughter is at the stables doing her horsey thing. Her school profile is due home at some point but we're yet to see it? Hmmm funny that? I'm waiting to see what the English teacher puts as I'm not at all happy with that one. I would like to get on with some things in the house. Get some tidying up done and clear throw away some more clutter!
Quote for the day
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.
Indira Gandhi (1917 - 1984)
Bigmouth
It's the early hours of the morning of 13th February and I can't sleep. I dosed off earlier and now I'm awake which meams I'm in for one of those nights where I'll be tossing and turning.
I have emails to catch up on and so I think that may be what I will be doing if I don't fall asleep soon plus my legs are stinging and whats the point in trying to sleep when they are this bad? But I must let you all know about my alter ego Bigmouth. Pigletwiglet's Bigmouth is my blog for shouting out about all those things that wind me up OR I might talk about something in the news of the day but I will also give my opinion. The reason for this is because I saw on the news about how people use their blogs and I thought how I under-used mine. It's time for a change and so rather than change this one which I like LOTS! I thought about a different one.
Also I've changed my name on here from 'TETHERED' to WIGLET'. Tethered is in the past and it's time to move forward. Tethered was what my spinal cord was - Stuck down inside the vertebra. I've got to think more posively and so I have to change the name....Call it positive thinking.
The link for Bigmouth is http://pgbigmouth.blogspot.com/
My normal blog will continue to run along side it of course, I will have twice as much fun!
I have emails to catch up on and so I think that may be what I will be doing if I don't fall asleep soon plus my legs are stinging and whats the point in trying to sleep when they are this bad? But I must let you all know about my alter ego Bigmouth. Pigletwiglet's Bigmouth is my blog for shouting out about all those things that wind me up OR I might talk about something in the news of the day but I will also give my opinion. The reason for this is because I saw on the news about how people use their blogs and I thought how I under-used mine. It's time for a change and so rather than change this one which I like LOTS! I thought about a different one.
Also I've changed my name on here from 'TETHERED' to WIGLET'. Tethered is in the past and it's time to move forward. Tethered was what my spinal cord was - Stuck down inside the vertebra. I've got to think more posively and so I have to change the name....Call it positive thinking.
The link for Bigmouth is http://pgbigmouth.blogspot.com/
My normal blog will continue to run along side it of course, I will have twice as much fun!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
I'm loved! (Personal stuff)
It's official!
I am still number one in my son's heart.
Only problem is.........he came back from what should have been five days away with his school feeling absolutely full of cold and I expected him to feel full of happiness.
It was rotten because I'd booked this weekend away with my husband (more later) and so we only had an hour and a half or so to send together (me and my lad not the husband) before me and my big lad headed off into the sunset or rain as it was. My son was OK....no not really, he was unhappy about it and held his spirits together well. I had if I'm honest, wanted to go earlier but there was no way I could leave that angelic face....
He's 11 now and I knew his nan would look after him and that wasn't an issue however the thought of him not well and me going away was not good. We spoke on numerous occassions over the weekend and he made me feel extremely guilty yesterday evening and told me to come home........(excuse the dots but lots of thinking going on here this weekend and now).....This weekend was the first one that I have had with my husband since before my kids were born and we needed it. When we knew we had the opportunity for two nights away we grabbed them. Friday night we went away looking forward to the fun of it and had a fabulous meal at the resturant where we stayed. We both had crab to start with, hubby followed this with a fillet of beef and peppercorn sauce and I had sea bass with scallop sauce which had the added bonus of a few scallops thrown in. I LOVE SCALLOPS! So the weekend started well.
Saturday morning we started the morning off with a gorgeous breakfast of a hamper of goodies brought by Charles the owner of the hotel who we got to know very well. Breakfast in bed...... croissants.....and then onto SHOPPING! (and a phone call from my son). The phone calls were to become a theme of the weekend and so were the requests "Not to speak to nan" as she would tell me that all was really fine.
Now I LOVE SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!! I could shop for team GB in the Olympics. Sadly my husband is a bystander and useless at it but you can't have it all ways. So we shopped and then we ate and then we went to the cinema and watched Music and Lyrics; http://musicandlyrics.warnerbros.com/
(Maybe a review tomorrow?)
The last thing I did on Saturday was HAVE A PHONE CALL WITH MY SON! He told me he had been sick and would I come home (again). This was the last straw and I spoke to my mother in law and she told me it was all because of his cold and he was fine. "Enjoy the evening" we were told and as it was already 9pm we continued back to the hotel and 'enjoyed our evening!!!!!!'
Today has been another nice day. I didn't want to be held to ransom by my son who I love to bits and yes I missed him while he was away but I also needed time with my husband. This morning we had our usual breakfast in bed and then went off to an open air museum that I hadn't been for about 30 years. My scooter served me well and the battery now needs charging but I'm grateful that I purchased it.
We found a great place for Sunday lunch and had Roast Pork with all the trimmings. The pub was a 17th century building and absolutely beautiful. Of course I had another phonecall from my son........
We arrived home refreshed and knowing how our son felt but I was glad to see him and at least I knew I was loved. I knew beforehand that I was loved by my son and I love him very much. I love my daughter too of course and she has been a little star while we were away. She did nothing to cause my mother in law any hassle and she brought me a brilliant birthday present.
This weekend has gone to fast.
I am still number one in my son's heart.
Only problem is.........he came back from what should have been five days away with his school feeling absolutely full of cold and I expected him to feel full of happiness.
It was rotten because I'd booked this weekend away with my husband (more later) and so we only had an hour and a half or so to send together (me and my lad not the husband) before me and my big lad headed off into the sunset or rain as it was. My son was OK....no not really, he was unhappy about it and held his spirits together well. I had if I'm honest, wanted to go earlier but there was no way I could leave that angelic face....
He's 11 now and I knew his nan would look after him and that wasn't an issue however the thought of him not well and me going away was not good. We spoke on numerous occassions over the weekend and he made me feel extremely guilty yesterday evening and told me to come home........(excuse the dots but lots of thinking going on here this weekend and now).....This weekend was the first one that I have had with my husband since before my kids were born and we needed it. When we knew we had the opportunity for two nights away we grabbed them. Friday night we went away looking forward to the fun of it and had a fabulous meal at the resturant where we stayed. We both had crab to start with, hubby followed this with a fillet of beef and peppercorn sauce and I had sea bass with scallop sauce which had the added bonus of a few scallops thrown in. I LOVE SCALLOPS! So the weekend started well.Saturday morning we started the morning off with a gorgeous breakfast of a hamper of goodies brought by Charles the owner of the hotel who we got to know very well. Breakfast in bed...... croissants.....and then onto SHOPPING! (and a phone call from my son). The phone calls were to become a theme of the weekend and so were the requests "Not to speak to nan" as she would tell me that all was really fine.
Now I LOVE SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!! I could shop for team GB in the Olympics. Sadly my husband is a bystander and useless at it but you can't have it all ways. So we shopped and then we ate and then we went to the cinema and watched Music and Lyrics; http://musicandlyrics.warnerbros.com/
(Maybe a review tomorrow?)
The last thing I did on Saturday was HAVE A PHONE CALL WITH MY SON! He told me he had been sick and would I come home (again). This was the last straw and I spoke to my mother in law and she told me it was all because of his cold and he was fine. "Enjoy the evening" we were told and as it was already 9pm we continued back to the hotel and 'enjoyed our evening!!!!!!'
Today has been another nice day. I didn't want to be held to ransom by my son who I love to bits and yes I missed him while he was away but I also needed time with my husband. This morning we had our usual breakfast in bed and then went off to an open air museum that I hadn't been for about 30 years. My scooter served me well and the battery now needs charging but I'm grateful that I purchased it.
We found a great place for Sunday lunch and had Roast Pork with all the trimmings. The pub was a 17th century building and absolutely beautiful. Of course I had another phonecall from my son........
We arrived home refreshed and knowing how our son felt but I was glad to see him and at least I knew I was loved. I knew beforehand that I was loved by my son and I love him very much. I love my daughter too of course and she has been a little star while we were away. She did nothing to cause my mother in law any hassle and she brought me a brilliant birthday present.
This weekend has gone to fast.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Feb 9, on this day
As I'm going OTT and it is my birthday and I am allowed (plus I'm away for the next couple of days so no blog entries). Here's an extra one for you.
On this day in History
474 - Zeno crowned as co-emperor of the Byzantine Empire.
1555 - Bishop of Glouster, John Hooper is burned at the Stake.
1621 - Gregory XV becomes Pope, the last Pope elected by acclamation.
1775 - American Revolutionary War: British Parliament declares Massachusetts in rebellion
1822 - Haiti invades the Dominican Republic.
1825 - After no presidential candidate received a majority of electoral votes, the United States House of Representatives elects John Quincy Adams President of the United States.
1861 - American Civil War: Jefferson Davis is elected the Provisional President of the Confederate States of America by the Confederate convention at Montgomery, Alabama.
1870 - The U.S. Weather Bureau was established.
1885 - The first Japanese arrive in Hawaii.
1895 - William G. Morgan invents volleyball.
1900 - Davis Cup competition is established.
1904 - Battle of Port Arthur.
1942 - Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States.
1943 - World War II: Allied authorities declare Guadalcanal secure after Imperial Japan evacuates its remaining forces from the island, ending the Battle of Guadalcanal.
1960 - Joanne Woodward receives the first star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
1962 - Jamaica becomes independent nation within the Commonwealth of Nations.
1964 - Olympic Games: Winter Olympic Games - The IX Olympic Winter Games close in Innsbruck, Austria.
1964 - The Beatles make their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, performing before a "record-busting" audience of 73 million viewers.
1965 - Vietnam War: The first United States combat troops are sent to South Vietnam.
1969 - First test flight of the Boeing 747.
1971 - The 6.4 on the Richter Scale Sylmar earthquake hits the San Fernando Valley area of California.
1971 - Apollo program: Apollo 14 returns to Earth after the third manned moon landing.
1973 - Biju Patnaik of the Pragati Legislature Party elected leader of opposition in the state assembly in Orissa, India.
1975 - The Soyuz 17 Soviet spacecraft returns to Earth.
1986 - Comet Halley reaches perihelion, its closest approach to the sun, during its second visit to the solar system in the 20th century.
1991 - Voters in Lithuania vote for independence.
1994 - Vance-Owen peace plan for Bosnia and Herzegovina is announced.
1996 - The Irish Republican Army declares the end of its 18 month ceasefire shortly followed by a large bomb in London's Canary Wharf.
On this day in History
474 - Zeno crowned as co-emperor of the Byzantine Empire.
1555 - Bishop of Glouster, John Hooper is burned at the Stake.
1621 - Gregory XV becomes Pope, the last Pope elected by acclamation.
1775 - American Revolutionary War: British Parliament declares Massachusetts in rebellion
1822 - Haiti invades the Dominican Republic.
1825 - After no presidential candidate received a majority of electoral votes, the United States House of Representatives elects John Quincy Adams President of the United States.
1861 - American Civil War: Jefferson Davis is elected the Provisional President of the Confederate States of America by the Confederate convention at Montgomery, Alabama.
1870 - The U.S. Weather Bureau was established.
1885 - The first Japanese arrive in Hawaii.
1895 - William G. Morgan invents volleyball.
1900 - Davis Cup competition is established.
1904 - Battle of Port Arthur.
1942 - Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States.
1943 - World War II: Allied authorities declare Guadalcanal secure after Imperial Japan evacuates its remaining forces from the island, ending the Battle of Guadalcanal.
1960 - Joanne Woodward receives the first star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
1962 - Jamaica becomes independent nation within the Commonwealth of Nations.
1964 - Olympic Games: Winter Olympic Games - The IX Olympic Winter Games close in Innsbruck, Austria.
1964 - The Beatles make their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, performing before a "record-busting" audience of 73 million viewers.
1965 - Vietnam War: The first United States combat troops are sent to South Vietnam.
1969 - First test flight of the Boeing 747.
1971 - The 6.4 on the Richter Scale Sylmar earthquake hits the San Fernando Valley area of California.
1971 - Apollo program: Apollo 14 returns to Earth after the third manned moon landing.
1973 - Biju Patnaik of the Pragati Legislature Party elected leader of opposition in the state assembly in Orissa, India.
1975 - The Soyuz 17 Soviet spacecraft returns to Earth.
1986 - Comet Halley reaches perihelion, its closest approach to the sun, during its second visit to the solar system in the 20th century.
1991 - Voters in Lithuania vote for independence.
1994 - Vance-Owen peace plan for Bosnia and Herzegovina is announced.
1996 - The Irish Republican Army declares the end of its 18 month ceasefire shortly followed by a large bomb in London's Canary Wharf.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Yes I'm 22 today 
OK maybe a little past 22 and nearer 40 than 30 but what the heck! I'm tapping away on my birthday present and have a lovely weekend to look forward too; (even though the weather report looks hidious).I've looked forward to this birthday ......Or should I say I haven't dreaded this one which is my main feeling in previous years. As I've said before on blog entries, the loss of my mother four years ago, five days before my birthday hit me hard and I've not been in that frame of mind to have any sort of enjoyment. Also once you get past a certain age, birthdays are just a day and do not bare any relevence apart from getting older!
There are a few famous names who share their birth dates with me and those fellow Aquarians include;
Gipsy Rose Lee, dancer, who was born in 1914,
Carmen Miranda, dancer, born 1909
Carol King, song writer - 1942
Joe Pesci, actor -1943
Mia Farrow, actor -1945
Garret Fitzgerrald, twice Prime Minister of Ireland - 1926
William Henry Harrison, 9th US President 1841, born - 1773
Clive Swift (Keeping up appearances for my UK friends!) actor for my non UK friends, 1936
I'm in good company.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Fluffy white stuff
'HEAVY SNOW CAUSES TRAVEL CHAOS AND SHUTS SCHOOLS'
Declares the front page of the Times Newspaper today.
'SNOW BRINGS MISERY TO ENGLAND'
States the Telegraph, yet another headline to make those worldwide think that we are in the midst of a terrible twenty foot snow fall.
But how much snow really fell? The BBC tell us that only "Up to 10cm (4in) of snow fell in some areas." however because we are so unused to this sort of weather, when it happens we fall apart literally. My point is does it mean that we have to have an MP call for a commons debate on the matter and WHY oh WHY are we Brits so utterly obsessed with the weather?
I knew today that I was going to mention it because my son is away still on his school camp and the latest news is that they are all FREEZING.
On Tuesday it was minus temperatures all day (centigrade) and doubled socks and jumpers/sweaters were required. My son has taken his the thinest coat in this wardrobe but he has a couple of thick fleeces and will be fine (I hope). But I digress......Where we live, there's none of this snow the country is supposedly covered in but where my lad is it's white and crisp and I bet snowball fights and REAL sledging was enjoyed today. My kids have NEVER sledged before and I find that so sad because I remember how I used to use a piece of cardboard or a tray or anything which would get me down a hill where I used to live. We don't have snow like that near the sea.....
So poor old UK today. Trains not working; thousands of schools shut; some households without power nothing new for a snowy day then?
Declares the front page of the Times Newspaper today.
'SNOW BRINGS MISERY TO ENGLAND'
States the Telegraph, yet another headline to make those worldwide think that we are in the midst of a terrible twenty foot snow fall.
But how much snow really fell? The BBC tell us that only "Up to 10cm (4in) of snow fell in some areas." however because we are so unused to this sort of weather, when it happens we fall apart literally. My point is does it mean that we have to have an MP call for a commons debate on the matter and WHY oh WHY are we Brits so utterly obsessed with the weather?
I knew today that I was going to mention it because my son is away still on his school camp and the latest news is that they are all FREEZING.
On Tuesday it was minus temperatures all day (centigrade) and doubled socks and jumpers/sweaters were required. My son has taken his the thinest coat in this wardrobe but he has a couple of thick fleeces and will be fine (I hope). But I digress......Where we live, there's none of this snow the country is supposedly covered in but where my lad is it's white and crisp and I bet snowball fights and REAL sledging was enjoyed today. My kids have NEVER sledged before and I find that so sad because I remember how I used to use a piece of cardboard or a tray or anything which would get me down a hill where I used to live. We don't have snow like that near the sea.....So poor old UK today. Trains not working; thousands of schools shut; some households without power nothing new for a snowy day then?
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Funny news
Hostage released for pizza
An Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met.
Up to 20 inmates at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, seized the guard in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail.
Initially they made 24 demands to authorities, but eventually gave up their hostage after agreeing to 15 pizzas, Coke and garlic bread instead.
"At midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered. Our staff member was negotiated out with the delivery of 15 pizzas," Graeme Barber, Tasmania's director of prisons, told The Advocate newspaper.
The guard is recovering from his ordeal at home.
I found this at http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section2/jokes/funnynews.html
My son has a passion for pizza but that is slightly taking the pi** don't you think!
Talking of my son, he's on day two of his school trip and today I believe it's orienteering and kayaking but for the life of me I've forgotten the fun activity for this evening. The kids have got so much crammed into the next few days that they won't have time to miss home and my son's been away for 6 days at cub camp before and I doubt he'll miss me.
I'm still struggling with the pain monster and it's been a real battle to beat it this time. The weather has turned and it is VERY cold and it could have something to do with that as it did last time? My pain also became bad this time after I went out on my scooter and decided to drive up and down the silly curbs which I should not have. That is NOT good for my back but I can't see how that caused this problem? I'm always asking myself why I have these flare ups and I can never see the reasons and it's so frustrating. I used to have a life and now I have nothing - Except I cannot think that way......I have my kids and husband and I have to keep going because of them.
As Winston Churchill once said, "If you are going through hell keep going"
An Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met.
Up to 20 inmates at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, seized the guard in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail.
Initially they made 24 demands to authorities, but eventually gave up their hostage after agreeing to 15 pizzas, Coke and garlic bread instead.
"At midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered. Our staff member was negotiated out with the delivery of 15 pizzas," Graeme Barber, Tasmania's director of prisons, told The Advocate newspaper.
The guard is recovering from his ordeal at home.
I found this at http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section2/jokes/funnynews.html
My son has a passion for pizza but that is slightly taking the pi** don't you think!
Talking of my son, he's on day two of his school trip and today I believe it's orienteering and kayaking but for the life of me I've forgotten the fun activity for this evening. The kids have got so much crammed into the next few days that they won't have time to miss home and my son's been away for 6 days at cub camp before and I doubt he'll miss me.
I'm still struggling with the pain monster and it's been a real battle to beat it this time. The weather has turned and it is VERY cold and it could have something to do with that as it did last time? My pain also became bad this time after I went out on my scooter and decided to drive up and down the silly curbs which I should not have. That is NOT good for my back but I can't see how that caused this problem? I'm always asking myself why I have these flare ups and I can never see the reasons and it's so frustrating. I used to have a life and now I have nothing - Except I cannot think that way......I have my kids and husband and I have to keep going because of them.
As Winston Churchill once said, "If you are going through hell keep going"
Monday, February 05, 2007
Days all muddled and bird flu
Yesteray was that day!
The official my mum departed this earth.........No wonder I've been all over the place and no wonder my son has too? We are both spiritual people and I think that was the reason for the fact that we both suffered ill health? We all miss my mum and dad greatly and I think from the amount of times they're mentioned in my blog that's quite obvious.
Today I'm still in bed and still feeling the effects of my pain monster. I hate all of this I really do and today was 100 times worse because my son was going away on a school trip for a week and I really could have done with seeing him off. I don't suppose he needed me though!
The big news in the UK today is BIRD FLU. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6330167.stm I don't think Bernard will be saying 'Bewdiful' today! (Sorry silly joke for all us Brits)
Apparently supermarkets are expecting people to suddenly to stop eating chickens/turkeys and the like because of this even though it can not be passed to humans? Yes that's as human beings for you, mad as fruitcakes.
The other interesting fact is that this is the the MONDAY that people are most likely to take off sick? Especially if you're a turkey! (Couldn't help it) So for all of you feeling ill and that includes me, dose yourself up and get yourself better; for those you faking it - SHAME ON YOU you clever bunch. I used to fake illness all the time at school......That was the worse time of my life. Now I'd wish for a day of normality!
Lastly
ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY
1953 Sweet (Candy to those over the pond) rationing Ends in the UK
The rationing of confectionery ends after 10 years, with schoolchildren first in the queue for unlimited sweets and chocolate.
How would I have survived back in those days!
The official my mum departed this earth.........No wonder I've been all over the place and no wonder my son has too? We are both spiritual people and I think that was the reason for the fact that we both suffered ill health? We all miss my mum and dad greatly and I think from the amount of times they're mentioned in my blog that's quite obvious.
Today I'm still in bed and still feeling the effects of my pain monster. I hate all of this I really do and today was 100 times worse because my son was going away on a school trip for a week and I really could have done with seeing him off. I don't suppose he needed me though!
The big news in the UK today is BIRD FLU. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6330167.stm I don't think Bernard will be saying 'Bewdiful' today! (Sorry silly joke for all us Brits)
Apparently supermarkets are expecting people to suddenly to stop eating chickens/turkeys and the like because of this even though it can not be passed to humans? Yes that's as human beings for you, mad as fruitcakes.
The other interesting fact is that this is the the MONDAY that people are most likely to take off sick? Especially if you're a turkey! (Couldn't help it) So for all of you feeling ill and that includes me, dose yourself up and get yourself better; for those you faking it - SHAME ON YOU you clever bunch. I used to fake illness all the time at school......That was the worse time of my life. Now I'd wish for a day of normality!
Lastly
ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY
1953 Sweet (Candy to those over the pond) rationing Ends in the UK
The rationing of confectionery ends after 10 years, with schoolchildren first in the queue for unlimited sweets and chocolate.
How would I have survived back in those days!
2003, some names of those who passed
January 12 Maurice Gibb tragically after suffering a heart attack during stomach surgery.
February 1 The crew of the shuttle Columbia, Rick Husband, William McCool, Michael Anderson, David Brown, Laurel Clark, Kalpana Chawla, Ilan Ramon who was carrying with him a miniature Torah scroll of a Holocaust survivor.
February 4 My mum, a wonderful mother, a fantastic oma and once met never forgotten died suddenly overnight on either the 3rd or 4th of February. She went to be with my dad which where she wanted to be.
July 8 Laleh and Ladan Bijani, conjoined twins who were joined at the head who at 29 decided to face the gruelling surgery to separate them.
July 18 Dr David Kelly, had been at the centre of a row between the British Government and the BBC about the use of intelligence reports in the run up to the war against Iraq. He said the government had "sexed-up" its dossier on Iraq to boost public support for the war. He accused the government of inserting a claim into the dossier that Saddam Hussein was capable of deploying weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes
Dr Kelly took his own life and I don't suppose we shall ever now the real 'truth' will we?
July 27 Bob Hope, American icon and legendary comedian Bob Hope died, just two months after celebrating his 100th birthday. He died in his sleep at home in Toluca Lake, California, with his family at his bedside. Even the Queen, who had met British-born Hope many times, sent a private message to his widow, Dolores, who was married to Hope for 69 years. The couple had four children.
August 16 Idi Amin War criminal. Do not want to say any more here except what goes around comes around (I hope)
September 11 Anna Lindh The Swedish Foreign Minister died in hospital from stab wounds inflicted in an attack while she was shopping in a Stockholm department store.
September 12 Johnny Cash One of the great legends of country music, he was 71.
He was rushed to hospital in Nashville, Tennessee, with respiratory failure, but doctors could not save him.
Cash, an icon of American country music since the 1950s, had been dogged by illness in recent years, and suffered from a nervous condition similar to Parkinson's disease.
These are just a few names. Many more lost their lives in 2003.........A little prayer for them all.
February 1 The crew of the shuttle Columbia, Rick Husband, William McCool, Michael Anderson, David Brown, Laurel Clark, Kalpana Chawla, Ilan Ramon who was carrying with him a miniature Torah scroll of a Holocaust survivor.
February 4 My mum, a wonderful mother, a fantastic oma and once met never forgotten died suddenly overnight on either the 3rd or 4th of February. She went to be with my dad which where she wanted to be.
July 8 Laleh and Ladan Bijani, conjoined twins who were joined at the head who at 29 decided to face the gruelling surgery to separate them.
July 18 Dr David Kelly, had been at the centre of a row between the British Government and the BBC about the use of intelligence reports in the run up to the war against Iraq. He said the government had "sexed-up" its dossier on Iraq to boost public support for the war. He accused the government of inserting a claim into the dossier that Saddam Hussein was capable of deploying weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes
Dr Kelly took his own life and I don't suppose we shall ever now the real 'truth' will we?
July 27 Bob Hope, American icon and legendary comedian Bob Hope died, just two months after celebrating his 100th birthday. He died in his sleep at home in Toluca Lake, California, with his family at his bedside. Even the Queen, who had met British-born Hope many times, sent a private message to his widow, Dolores, who was married to Hope for 69 years. The couple had four children.
August 16 Idi Amin War criminal. Do not want to say any more here except what goes around comes around (I hope)
September 11 Anna Lindh The Swedish Foreign Minister died in hospital from stab wounds inflicted in an attack while she was shopping in a Stockholm department store.
September 12 Johnny Cash One of the great legends of country music, he was 71.
He was rushed to hospital in Nashville, Tennessee, with respiratory failure, but doctors could not save him.
Cash, an icon of American country music since the 1950s, had been dogged by illness in recent years, and suffered from a nervous condition similar to Parkinson's disease.
These are just a few names. Many more lost their lives in 2003.........A little prayer for them all.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Today..........................
Four years ago today was the day my mum passed from this earth. I spoke about that in the last entry and I can't be sure of the date because she was on her own and had chosen not to talk to me. Drink had changed every aspect of her being and I hated that part of her......
It's not sure whether my mum passed away on the 3rd or 4th of February? The coroner could not be sure either.
I wonder if this is why I'm in so much pain today? My emotions could be dictating how my body is feeling?
Mum was a lonely woman who hated herself and never learnt to love herself. I know that is an old cliche but truly speaking my mum was never happy. To the outside world they saw this smiling woman who got on with everyone but then she had this sting in her tail - A true Scorpio! She gave to others willingly however she expected others to give to her and if they did not then OMG they were in trouble. "HOW DARE THEY?" Would be her words. I remember life at home being hard because of her resentments. She'd always expect something back and if it never happened, she'd shun that person/people or make them feel bad. Anyone reading this for the first time and not reading any past entries would not think she's an absolute horror but NO, life made my mum this way. She was a good woman and circumstances dictated why she felt so bad about herself and she never got the chance in her own life to come to terms wilth all of her daemons. I loved her and still do.
Mum never knew her father and her mother, my gran who I always got on with better, never spoke of him. When she found out he was a nasty monster, it broke my mum into pieces. My mum had to hold herself together and make sure the outside world did not see that she was falling apart inside and she did a good job of it. Only my family and maybe a few close friends knew how hurt she really was. Mum lied to so many people and made up stories to cover up her feelings. Drink was her best friend throughout her heartaches and when the going got tough the bottles got bigger.
Mum was able to stop drinking however something would happen to cause the evil daemons to come out and so would the bottle. First mum drank coke and Bacardi. Every night mum would pour herself one drink and then another and another. I remember mum telling me that she was having lemonade and coke and that's what I thought it was for many years. I didn't realise my mum had a drink problem and when I did I tried to get her to face it didn't work........My dad wasn't on the same side as me and so it was impossible. Also at this point, mum was beginning to get problems with her stomach. She was not only drinking but taking medication which contained non steroid anti inflammatories. The combination was causing my mother's stomach wall to erode. She didn't know but I guess she knew there was some sort of problem because of the pain and not being able to eat? I don't really know how dad felt? I talked to him a few times but he would blank me or tell me "It's mum's choice". I found that hard......
My dad and mum had a relationship that worked for them and dad was what I now know called an 'enabler' he knew full well that mum's alcohol addiction and supported her with it because life without her drinking was for him unbearable. He walked out on her and me once when I was about 15; I remember it well. He came back the next day and even though it was my mum's fault, he took full responsibility for leaving. He loved her and that was that.
When dad was diagnosed with cancer, mum was full of guilt. She was thinking of divorcing dad at that time because of his mood towards her and she didn't realise it was because the cancer has spread to his brain. He had become a totally different man because of that disease and I'm so grateful that once diagnosed there was not much longer for him to suffer. My mum loved my dad and I heard some members of my family state that she didn't love him because of the way she was with him......Oh she loved him dearly but I don't think she could bear the thought of life without him and so it was easier for her to try to forget he was dying. Dad spent his last 4 days in the hospice and mum visited him 3 times. The first time I took her, and dad told her to "go home, you hate these places". I had to practically drag her to the hospice two days later but I HAD to because my dad was nearing the end. She spent a minute by his bed and ased me to take her home. I took her home and came straight back to be with my dad as my feelings were different and I HAD to be with him. She looked after me by phoning up the hospice. She made sure I had the support while I held my dad's hand while he left this life the following morning. Mum did not get there in time......Dad passed away too quickly in the end.
Mum had a different relationship with my daughter and my daughter adored my mother. I've probably spoken about this before but I'm feeling rough today and in bed and in the mood to let out my emotions. The reason I couldn't allow my kids to stay with my mother anymore was because my aunt and uncle and turned up (expected) at mum's house and found the kids (aged 6 and 4) at the time, were on their own downstairs, while mum was in a drunken stupor upstairs. My aunt and uncle brought the kids home and I can't explain my feelings because on one hand I was angry but on the other I was upset. I was angry that I had believed my mum would NOT drink with the kids around, oh and mum had left her drink on the side table too and the children could have drunk that. I was also upset and let down. My husband wanted to spea to my mum about it as he was positively fuming! I didn't want to let him and yet again as many a time before, I stopped him from doing so.
I didn't tell my mum for some time why I wasn't letting the kids stay with her (Yes it was obvious) but in the end we had a row and it came out. I told her I would let the kids stay but I would be staying too. OH HELL!!!! She didn't like that. Again I felt offended because it was almost as though she was saying "I don't want you but I'll accept your kids". Mum did not want to know.
My children never stayed with my mum again and I couldn't tell the children the real reason until a while after my mum died. Yes my children were devastated by this and I can only think they blamed me for an unknown reason?
New Years Eve 2002, I had a rotten day. My ankle was throbbing - The early days of my TCS starting up and I then developed a splitting headache too. We had made plans to go up to mum's house for an early supper and some fireworks too. We'd had a great Christmas and all was fine but the previous weeks were hard as mum had had a row with her brother and sister over dad's old moterbike and the sale of it to my cousin. Mum told one side of the story and demanded that I was not to call my aunt about it (So's not to hear that side of the story I guess). I'm very close to that aunt and of course I spoke to her about it and then I spoke to my uncle too. After that I decided to keep out of the whole incident and told mum that was my plan - No taking sides but I had decided to try to bring everyone back together. The problem was that drink had clouded mum's judgement and memory.......So back to New Year's Eve. The aunt who I am close to lives far away but was down visiting her husband's relatives and was staying close by. She'd phoned up and asked if we were free and asked me if we'd like them to come over? Of course I said yes. I found out that this aunt was not going to visit my mum later on and that upset me however it is my aunt's right and she was upset and angry too. I new I would face a dilema later in the day though because I WAS going to visit my mum and how was I going to keep it quiet about us seeing my aunt and uncle? Mum was no doubt going to be upset and take it out on me or my family when we saw her later but when I was spending time with my aunt and uncle I didn't care because I love them to bits as do my kids.
We went to my mum's house and my head was hurting and I had a row with my husband on the way up there and I felt terrible. I asked the children to try not to mention about the aunt and uncle's visit however that was impossible for my little lad. He loves my uncle and his silly tricks and I knew as soon as he opened his mouth I was in trouble. "We saw uncle L......." My mum went quiet and refused to talk to anyone after that and to be honest my head started to crash even more. I told my husband that enough was enough and it was not fair on the kids to let them put up with this atmosphere and we were going home. I washed up and 8.30pm we headed home. I gave mum a hug but she wasn't in the mood. I has explained and said I hadn't wanted to say anything because I did not know my aunt and uncle were down. I had heard one of my mum's other sisters say she had invited this siter over on New Year's Eve and explained that to my mum and then I thin this is how mum made up a crazy story? This is where drink played it's part again - What I was not to now was mum had made up a story that we had left early because we were going to a 'party' at her other sister's house?????
Point one, Not true! I think my aunts were meeting up but mum never goes out in the evening anyway.
Point two, The plan was to ALWAYS to come up for 2-3 hours, have some bangers and mash and fireworks which we literally had!
Point three, My head hurt so badly that I felt sick and when I got home I physically was sick.
I phoned mum a couple of days later and she wouldn't speak to me. I then tried again and again I was given the cold shoulder. I constantly asked her what had I done "YOU NOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" No I didn't know because mum's imagination had worked overtime and none of it was true........
I last spoke to my mother 3 weeks before she died and her last words were
"I never want to speak to you again"
To true but I wish she had not made up that false story because I would then have had that 3 weeks. The last year I had with her was the BEST year I have ever had with her. It was almost as though the barriers were gone and we became friends. I DID love my mum and only wish she didn't love the bottle more than she loved me.
I hope my dad was with her as she went on to the next world.......................I truly do.
A policewoman came to my door at 9.50pm and I knew what she was going to say. She suggested we went and sat down but I told her "My mum's died hasn't she"
"Yes".
It's not sure whether my mum passed away on the 3rd or 4th of February? The coroner could not be sure either.
I wonder if this is why I'm in so much pain today? My emotions could be dictating how my body is feeling?
Mum was a lonely woman who hated herself and never learnt to love herself. I know that is an old cliche but truly speaking my mum was never happy. To the outside world they saw this smiling woman who got on with everyone but then she had this sting in her tail - A true Scorpio! She gave to others willingly however she expected others to give to her and if they did not then OMG they were in trouble. "HOW DARE THEY?" Would be her words. I remember life at home being hard because of her resentments. She'd always expect something back and if it never happened, she'd shun that person/people or make them feel bad. Anyone reading this for the first time and not reading any past entries would not think she's an absolute horror but NO, life made my mum this way. She was a good woman and circumstances dictated why she felt so bad about herself and she never got the chance in her own life to come to terms wilth all of her daemons. I loved her and still do.
Mum never knew her father and her mother, my gran who I always got on with better, never spoke of him. When she found out he was a nasty monster, it broke my mum into pieces. My mum had to hold herself together and make sure the outside world did not see that she was falling apart inside and she did a good job of it. Only my family and maybe a few close friends knew how hurt she really was. Mum lied to so many people and made up stories to cover up her feelings. Drink was her best friend throughout her heartaches and when the going got tough the bottles got bigger.
Mum was able to stop drinking however something would happen to cause the evil daemons to come out and so would the bottle. First mum drank coke and Bacardi. Every night mum would pour herself one drink and then another and another. I remember mum telling me that she was having lemonade and coke and that's what I thought it was for many years. I didn't realise my mum had a drink problem and when I did I tried to get her to face it didn't work........My dad wasn't on the same side as me and so it was impossible. Also at this point, mum was beginning to get problems with her stomach. She was not only drinking but taking medication which contained non steroid anti inflammatories. The combination was causing my mother's stomach wall to erode. She didn't know but I guess she knew there was some sort of problem because of the pain and not being able to eat? I don't really know how dad felt? I talked to him a few times but he would blank me or tell me "It's mum's choice". I found that hard......
My dad and mum had a relationship that worked for them and dad was what I now know called an 'enabler' he knew full well that mum's alcohol addiction and supported her with it because life without her drinking was for him unbearable. He walked out on her and me once when I was about 15; I remember it well. He came back the next day and even though it was my mum's fault, he took full responsibility for leaving. He loved her and that was that.
When dad was diagnosed with cancer, mum was full of guilt. She was thinking of divorcing dad at that time because of his mood towards her and she didn't realise it was because the cancer has spread to his brain. He had become a totally different man because of that disease and I'm so grateful that once diagnosed there was not much longer for him to suffer. My mum loved my dad and I heard some members of my family state that she didn't love him because of the way she was with him......Oh she loved him dearly but I don't think she could bear the thought of life without him and so it was easier for her to try to forget he was dying. Dad spent his last 4 days in the hospice and mum visited him 3 times. The first time I took her, and dad told her to "go home, you hate these places". I had to practically drag her to the hospice two days later but I HAD to because my dad was nearing the end. She spent a minute by his bed and ased me to take her home. I took her home and came straight back to be with my dad as my feelings were different and I HAD to be with him. She looked after me by phoning up the hospice. She made sure I had the support while I held my dad's hand while he left this life the following morning. Mum did not get there in time......Dad passed away too quickly in the end.
Mum had a different relationship with my daughter and my daughter adored my mother. I've probably spoken about this before but I'm feeling rough today and in bed and in the mood to let out my emotions. The reason I couldn't allow my kids to stay with my mother anymore was because my aunt and uncle and turned up (expected) at mum's house and found the kids (aged 6 and 4) at the time, were on their own downstairs, while mum was in a drunken stupor upstairs. My aunt and uncle brought the kids home and I can't explain my feelings because on one hand I was angry but on the other I was upset. I was angry that I had believed my mum would NOT drink with the kids around, oh and mum had left her drink on the side table too and the children could have drunk that. I was also upset and let down. My husband wanted to spea to my mum about it as he was positively fuming! I didn't want to let him and yet again as many a time before, I stopped him from doing so.
I didn't tell my mum for some time why I wasn't letting the kids stay with her (Yes it was obvious) but in the end we had a row and it came out. I told her I would let the kids stay but I would be staying too. OH HELL!!!! She didn't like that. Again I felt offended because it was almost as though she was saying "I don't want you but I'll accept your kids". Mum did not want to know.
My children never stayed with my mum again and I couldn't tell the children the real reason until a while after my mum died. Yes my children were devastated by this and I can only think they blamed me for an unknown reason?
New Years Eve 2002, I had a rotten day. My ankle was throbbing - The early days of my TCS starting up and I then developed a splitting headache too. We had made plans to go up to mum's house for an early supper and some fireworks too. We'd had a great Christmas and all was fine but the previous weeks were hard as mum had had a row with her brother and sister over dad's old moterbike and the sale of it to my cousin. Mum told one side of the story and demanded that I was not to call my aunt about it (So's not to hear that side of the story I guess). I'm very close to that aunt and of course I spoke to her about it and then I spoke to my uncle too. After that I decided to keep out of the whole incident and told mum that was my plan - No taking sides but I had decided to try to bring everyone back together. The problem was that drink had clouded mum's judgement and memory.......So back to New Year's Eve. The aunt who I am close to lives far away but was down visiting her husband's relatives and was staying close by. She'd phoned up and asked if we were free and asked me if we'd like them to come over? Of course I said yes. I found out that this aunt was not going to visit my mum later on and that upset me however it is my aunt's right and she was upset and angry too. I new I would face a dilema later in the day though because I WAS going to visit my mum and how was I going to keep it quiet about us seeing my aunt and uncle? Mum was no doubt going to be upset and take it out on me or my family when we saw her later but when I was spending time with my aunt and uncle I didn't care because I love them to bits as do my kids.
We went to my mum's house and my head was hurting and I had a row with my husband on the way up there and I felt terrible. I asked the children to try not to mention about the aunt and uncle's visit however that was impossible for my little lad. He loves my uncle and his silly tricks and I knew as soon as he opened his mouth I was in trouble. "We saw uncle L......." My mum went quiet and refused to talk to anyone after that and to be honest my head started to crash even more. I told my husband that enough was enough and it was not fair on the kids to let them put up with this atmosphere and we were going home. I washed up and 8.30pm we headed home. I gave mum a hug but she wasn't in the mood. I has explained and said I hadn't wanted to say anything because I did not know my aunt and uncle were down. I had heard one of my mum's other sisters say she had invited this siter over on New Year's Eve and explained that to my mum and then I thin this is how mum made up a crazy story? This is where drink played it's part again - What I was not to now was mum had made up a story that we had left early because we were going to a 'party' at her other sister's house?????
Point one, Not true! I think my aunts were meeting up but mum never goes out in the evening anyway.
Point two, The plan was to ALWAYS to come up for 2-3 hours, have some bangers and mash and fireworks which we literally had!
Point three, My head hurt so badly that I felt sick and when I got home I physically was sick.
I phoned mum a couple of days later and she wouldn't speak to me. I then tried again and again I was given the cold shoulder. I constantly asked her what had I done "YOU NOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" No I didn't know because mum's imagination had worked overtime and none of it was true........
I last spoke to my mother 3 weeks before she died and her last words were
"I never want to speak to you again"
To true but I wish she had not made up that false story because I would then have had that 3 weeks. The last year I had with her was the BEST year I have ever had with her. It was almost as though the barriers were gone and we became friends. I DID love my mum and only wish she didn't love the bottle more than she loved me.
I hope my dad was with her as she went on to the next world.......................I truly do.
A policewoman came to my door at 9.50pm and I knew what she was going to say. She suggested we went and sat down but I told her "My mum's died hasn't she"
"Yes".
Friday, February 02, 2007
Now an underactive thyroid!
I've just spoken to my GP and if I didn't need another problem to add to my woes I've now got a thyroid issue to deal with. My acupuncturist told me that she felt acupuncture could deal with thyroid problems if caught early but obviously not for me. Here's a link to some info on Hypothyroidism. http://www.medic8.com/healthguide/articles/hypothyroidism.html
Kids are home from school and no doubt my son will come home and ask to sleep at his mate's house. He always does on a Friday night. My daughter needs some time and energy spent on her as I spoke with her head of year yesterday and there are issues with her attitude towards work. She's self sabbotaging - I think that's the best way to discribe it? Her head of year is a great teacher and great with the kids too. I only phoned her because of something that happened for the past two days at lunch times and it needed to be dealt with and then of course she mentioned that she had tried to teach my daughter yesterday for the first tim in year nine. She'd taught her in year eight and year seven and my daughter was always eager to please but now she's more eager to play on her mobile phone in some lessons; (why arn't the teachers taking the phones away?) or brushing her hair! My daughter's head of year said it was such a shame as my daughter isn't naughty and she's a lovely girl - just silly!!!!
My son is a totally different personality but that said my daughter never lost a brand new school fleece a week after I had brought it! Yes the school are unable to locate it and I'm bloody angry. I asked my son if the children's fleeces were checed at school today seeing as they all have the same ones but he said NO. I'm not HAPPY!
Kids are home from school and no doubt my son will come home and ask to sleep at his mate's house. He always does on a Friday night. My daughter needs some time and energy spent on her as I spoke with her head of year yesterday and there are issues with her attitude towards work. She's self sabbotaging - I think that's the best way to discribe it? Her head of year is a great teacher and great with the kids too. I only phoned her because of something that happened for the past two days at lunch times and it needed to be dealt with and then of course she mentioned that she had tried to teach my daughter yesterday for the first tim in year nine. She'd taught her in year eight and year seven and my daughter was always eager to please but now she's more eager to play on her mobile phone in some lessons; (why arn't the teachers taking the phones away?) or brushing her hair! My daughter's head of year said it was such a shame as my daughter isn't naughty and she's a lovely girl - just silly!!!!
My son is a totally different personality but that said my daughter never lost a brand new school fleece a week after I had brought it! Yes the school are unable to locate it and I'm bloody angry. I asked my son if the children's fleeces were checed at school today seeing as they all have the same ones but he said NO. I'm not HAPPY!
Bacon and eggs
I quite fancy a plate of bacon and eggs don't you?
Sounds like a nice way to start the day but alas hubby is painting my daughter's wardrobe (closet) doors and he's taken them off and painting in the kitchen. He can't move in her room as it's more like a pigsty than a bedroom. The weather is very unpredictable also and so hubby cannot paint outside.........So my bacon and eggs have to wait for a little while yet.
My plans for today are for a slow day. I shall try to get on with a few bits and bobs if I can that is. I went to te hydro pool yesterday and enjoyed a natter and chat with my friends there. It made me feel more comfortable about a few things which were troubling me and also I was able to help out a couple of friends who needed help from me. We look after each other and it's a good Thursday morning group. We have new ladies who come and go and some stay and we get to know them. That's when we find out phone numbers and if that person does not attend the pool, we often phone them to see if they are OK. It's a great little group of caring women (and sometimes men) who look after each other.
Sometimes it is a great joy just to listen to someone we love talking. Vincent McNabb
Friday has come around so quickly and it's GROUNDHOG DAY over in America. http://www.groundhog.org/ We don't have this in the UK but of course we tend to follow what our American cousins do and I have no doubt we will follow at some point. Tomorrow is also the anniversary of the day my mum passed away; the official date is the 4th as that is when she was found and the coroner said it was best to keep it as that. Mum was last spoken to on the 2nd Feb in the late evening. She was very poorly and in a lot of pain and had spoken to her neighbour about how she was feeling.........Going to be a tearful couple of days if I think to much.
Sounds like a nice way to start the day but alas hubby is painting my daughter's wardrobe (closet) doors and he's taken them off and painting in the kitchen. He can't move in her room as it's more like a pigsty than a bedroom. The weather is very unpredictable also and so hubby cannot paint outside.........So my bacon and eggs have to wait for a little while yet.
My plans for today are for a slow day. I shall try to get on with a few bits and bobs if I can that is. I went to te hydro pool yesterday and enjoyed a natter and chat with my friends there. It made me feel more comfortable about a few things which were troubling me and also I was able to help out a couple of friends who needed help from me. We look after each other and it's a good Thursday morning group. We have new ladies who come and go and some stay and we get to know them. That's when we find out phone numbers and if that person does not attend the pool, we often phone them to see if they are OK. It's a great little group of caring women (and sometimes men) who look after each other.
Sometimes it is a great joy just to listen to someone we love talking. Vincent McNabb
Friday has come around so quickly and it's GROUNDHOG DAY over in America. http://www.groundhog.org/ We don't have this in the UK but of course we tend to follow what our American cousins do and I have no doubt we will follow at some point. Tomorrow is also the anniversary of the day my mum passed away; the official date is the 4th as that is when she was found and the coroner said it was best to keep it as that. Mum was last spoken to on the 2nd Feb in the late evening. She was very poorly and in a lot of pain and had spoken to her neighbour about how she was feeling.........Going to be a tearful couple of days if I think to much.
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