Sponge Bob Square Pants - Part Deux

G'day to all near and far,

Hopefully today will meet up to your expectations? Mine are quite high which is a worry. I have acupuncture - not on my normal day but my acupuncturist was having a week off to wizz off camping in her battered old VW and so I had to swap around. The other big news is BUNNIES! Yes we are off to buytwo little darlings today for my two little darlings. We have two empty hutches and are prepared for are purchases and all we need now is the living breathing objects.

Will let you know the wonderful names later!

Idle Talk Fell - Doesn't That Say It All?

My ramble made me feel much better and I'd forgotten why I set up this blog and THIS is the exact reason. I needed a place to let of steam and somewhere where I could speak honestly about how life's ups and downs affected me and those around me (Or how I see it?)

I made a lovely 'summer vegetable soup' with a touch of chilli to give it a kick at the end. My son is back home after a couple of hours at the beach, (daughter still hanging out with friends) and after eating said soup we both hand a chronic case of wind and were grateful for two toilets. (Sorry for that graphic but I love it!) I ordered some new summer clothes on Thursday ready for when I go away in July and they arrived this afternoon. Trying on beautiful tops and skirts and realising I will need more new tops to go with the skirts and tops I have brought too made me feel nice as LOVE spending the old man's money. Seeing as he's lost money today betting on old nags which don't stand a chance in the Grand National. AT least I picked one that might have one and only bet £2! Last of the big spenders me....

So now after cooking and trying on clothes and Oh and admit I had a little tidy up too as the house is running away with the tat and rubbish the kids dump around the various rooms and that includes their own - I would not mind too much if only they would keep their things in their own rooms? Was it with kids? I could not get myself comfortable on my recliner and so I'm back up here in my sanctury hoping the pain in my legs will eventually calm down as the back pain is already starting too.

Daughter has arrived home at last......All is returning back to normal in my home.

Who Am I?

Lying on my bed and recovering from a middle of the day shower......I contemplate my life and wonder who I am and what the rest of my life has in store for me?

I have to plan my life like a military operation and that gets me down at times and especially when I had a flaming row with my daughter yesterday. "Go and DIE" she shouted at me! Sometimes I feel like doing just that and I told her so but not before I put on my shoes and headed for the door. I told her I hoped she was happy and I was off to jump off a bridge as life wasn't worth anything if I was constantly to be treated like sh*t by a spoilt 13 year old.
"Come back" she screamed "Why?" "Because you're the only mum I've got"........Oh thanks......Thinking about her own needs again. I'll be honest she said what she did because I - Yes I swore at her. My daughter has this habit of playing my love for her against my love for her brother and she threw the "You love my brother more than me". I'll be honest I told her to "F off"....."F off you spoilt horrible little girl."........And then the row blew out of all proportion and that was when she felt she had no choice in words and being a rather immature 13 nearly 14 year old she got it wrong.

I love my kids equally but differently, I'm sure many parents understand that dilemma and understand what it is like to live with an ever changing hormonal teenager. She hates everything and everything annoys her; she is never happy at home and that is much like any other teen too but I find this hard to watch as I only remember my own unhappiness while I was a teenager and know mine was because of an alcoholic domineering mother. I know I try too hard at times and I have to step back and alloy my daughter to grow or she will be suffocated by me and finding that balance is terribly difficult.

So yesterday I went into my child when I swore at my child. I have to be honest and say that it was that or slapping her and I was never going to resort to the latter and so swearing seemed to be the better choice to get out my anger and frustration. I had to tell my daughter that she is constantly thinking about herself and not giving a damn about any other members of the family. After talking with my husband the other day we felt a good method was to tell her that she is a vital quarter of our family and she is pulling our familly apart with her constantly poor behaviour. She blames everyone else and will never accept it is her fault. She will blame friends for "Being nasty and falling out with her" but again never accepting responsibility for her own behaviour. I can see my daughter has this inner unhappiness and I'm not saying that she can switch it off, I know that she needs some help to address that and won't be able to do that overnight. I would love to help her if only she would allow me too but I am the wrong person now; she has reached that age when she is beginning to stop talking about some of lifes troubles with me. I hate these teenage years.

After that huge row we talked and talked and listened and listened and then talked some more. We made supper together and ate it together which was nice. Today my daughter was back in 'bolshy' mode and for instance I said to her "Would you like some money for the beach?" which was greated with a huffy "yeah obviously I do". ........Oooooh Yes I wanted to ram it down her throat but the fact is I can say to her tomorrow that I gave her her pocket money a day early and have the last laugh if I really want too. But I doubt I will......

Anything for a quiet life!

I lie on my bed and wonder if this is all I am here for? 'Go and die' is something that has crossed my mind in those darker moments and I actually told my daughter this yesterday but also told her that she and her brother are what keep me here. Eleven years ago when I was in the darkest pit of depression my daughter kept me going then because I hardly knew the new baby that was to grew into that wonderful character of my son. I cannot remember much at all of his first year if I am honest, it is a complete blur. I do not feel like this now however I know I don't like my life right now. Being a school governor is something that has lost its magic and I am not sure if I still want to continue it - But that said I don't know if I am feeling this way because I don't feel right about me.

Hubby just phoned.....Broke the monotony of the day. "Want a bet on the national?" "OK then"....Who to pick?......I've picked Idle Talk as this is all this is today....idle talk about how I feel but I still do not know who I am?

Nearly Tomorrow

Before I go to sleep I thought I'd better sign in as I know a few of my friends keep up with me here and I get emails asking if I'm OK if I don't say hello.

The 'cough/cold/cattargh/viral/revoltingness' is still here and not letting up but my voice is appearing on ocassion now and again. Good to hear hey? Not for my daughter as she got the rough end of my anger today......If she wants to be treated like an adult she needs to act like one - ARRGGHH! I SOUND LIKE MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Free Alan Johnson

Alan Johnson, the BBC'a Gaza Strip Journalist for the past three years, has now been held captive for one month by unkown kidnappers.

His plight was mostly ignored while the British Service people were captive in Iran and we know that they were there to do a 'Spy job' on Iran and so in that respect Iran had every right to hold on to them? Alan Johnson however was a friend of the Palastinian people and reaching the end of his placement in the Gaza Strip when he was taken from his hire car on the 12 March 2007.

He has now been held longer than any other kidnapped journalist.

There will be a press conference/multi news programme held around the world at 2.30pm (UK time) today. The BBC/Sky/Al Jezeera and other news channels will be working in conjunction to highlight his plight and there has been some news today to indicate that Alan is at least safe.

Sadly this part of the world is continuously vulnerable and kidnappings are part of the norm; a journalist is a good bargaining tool but when I have tried to work out what for none of it makes any real sense? So many people have different reasons and lots of people have their own blogs now with their own anlalysis - Bit like me hey! What does it matter.....

FREE ALAN JOHNSON

He say 9 out of 10?

Strangely the Orthodontist has said that my daughter's teeth are fine and there's nothing to be done about the bite "But it's a bit to the left".

So no bloody answers and nothing to help her?

Yes I am angry because I wonder if we were in America now if we would be getting the same asnwers and if that would be the right approach anyway? We Brits are not exactly famous for our smiles I admit and my daughter has lovely teeth it is just the earache issues and bitting her mouth constantly? Hmmm.....What next?

X-Rays have been taken and when the Orthodontist spoke to my husband he also showed my husband some pictures of teeth he had helped and said "Your daughter already gets a 9 out of 10" The only blemish is where she cracked her front tooth when deciding to climb up a water slide in Turkey! (Plus a bit on the creamy side too) But we were not worried about that and wasn't worried at all until our Dentist picked up on the same thing the GP had.....Wish he hadn't bothered.

Like An Old Woman!

That is how I feel - Like An old WOMAN!

My voice is recovering a little but is still a frog-esque and getting up to make a cuppa led to the aches and pains of nackeredness hitting me like a barrage of one hundred thousand bricks.

The sky is as blue as......... a blue sky (Oh I can't think right now) behind my weirdly coloured curtains but I cannot pull them back as hubby broke the soddin curtain pull and now they permenantly closed until he buys a new rail. I'm not holding my breathe.......I've waited six months already!

My daughter is about to head to the orthodontist as a cancellation phone call came through yesterday. It is her first time with this chappy and we are hoping the NHS will come through and pay for any brace when it is needed (and it will be needed) because her top and bottom jaw do not meet. Personally I think it's because she talks too much and she's worn away her mouth? lol

It is my nephew's 16th birthday tomorrow and my husband has sent him his card in readiness but has just informed me that he has forgotten to put any money in it.....GREAT!
Hubby is going to have to buy a second card and it better be a more suitable card than the one he brought earlier too.....Why on earth get a 16 year old a card which a six year old would love?
Men - don't you just love them?

Still awaiting that scan for my gall bladder? So much for quick and urgent? It is not playing up right now so let's keep everything crossed it stays that way.

Splutter Cough Croak Whisper

Where's my voice?

Good news for the kids; my voice is now distant memory.

Head hurts so just 'printing' hello rather than saying it and then closing my eyes and going to dose off again if that stupid cough will let me.

Don't you just love it when good weather brings with it poor health!

Never rub your eye after cutting a chilli pepper

My stinging eye is just an added ailment to the ever growing list of bloody anoying nuisances which are bugging me today.

Short one today as I feel c**p. Glad my acupuncturist did some cupping on Thursday as I would be feeling 100 times worse right now. I have included a link here on cupping but my acupuncturist does not leave silly red marks on my back;-http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3879447.stm

(Quick break there as I had a very late lunch at 4pm)

I managed to eat and that's a good sign but all I want to do now is crash out and sleep.....Maybe I will?

The sun is out and we are having a beautiful Easter - Has someone forgot to tell the UK it's a Bank Holiday because we do not have weather like this normally?

Easter Sunday

Chocolate heaven this morning in our house and the true meaning of the day completely forgotten. We have no real faith in our house but I have 'a sort of' belief. I believe in the afterlife and hope to see my parents again when I leave this earth but I don't want to think about that today as today I feel good - No feeilings of sadness today, no feelings of anger, no feelings of pain! I will not allow it. Actually there are some feelings of pain and those I cannot avoid but you know it's one thing that is the norm and at least I can keep it low.

One thing I am going to 'get off my chest' and wish I could litterally is this bloody cough. I swear I must have hayfever as last year the same cough plagued me from about this time of year and I put it down to a virus I picked up in hospital? Maybe it wasn't a virus. Yet another trip to the GP will follow to work out what this cough is and also what on earth is happening to this 'urgent' scan on my gallbladder??? This is beyond a joke! I was told over four weeks ago (or is it five?) that I would be having a scan on that damn thing and it's beginning to flare again. I had a feeling it would because I've cut down my anti inflammatory by half as I could not stay awake on the dose I was on. Don't want that to give me hell on top of everything else.

Post 100 EASTER'S GREETINGS!

My 100th post today and it's the Saturday in between when everyone is rushing around buying those last minute chocolate bits. Fortunately I made a deal with my kids that I would give them money for while we were away last week plus an egg which will be conveniently hidden tomorrow. I know hubby has brought me a nice Thorntons milk chocolate egg and I'm likely to finish off it's lovely velvetness pronto....(sorry drifted off into choco heaven for a moment there!) Getting my lad to buy the hubby a bar of dark chocolate as he's not into it as the rest of the family - or that's what he says? Don't they all say that?

I had a disturbed night's sleep and that does not help. The night before was not a good one with my lad's friend also sleeping over and the two of them giggling away like girls (shhh don't let them hear that) till gone 12.30 when I wanted to sleep! A friend told me about her 14 year old - Who's 15 today, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him; last Sunday night he slept out in a tent unbeknownst to her until Monday night. He's learnt his lesson because all he had for heat was one of those supermarket BBQs. Of course there were two other boys and they could have huddled together but we all know now that they will not do that for fear of the the 'gay' word but if you're cold you're cold!

Talking of cold, my eleven year old son, SWAM in the chilly smelly English ocean yesterday! The air temperature was 14c and I have no idea how cold that water was but I think he and his buddy were both crazy. I have no idea where he gets his madness from? Did I hear you say his mother? Who me?


HAPPY EASTER

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

So tired.

It's the extra celebrex in my system that is causing me this problem. I don't know whether I'm coming or going half of the time and the other half I'm asleep. Arrrggghhh!!!

Also I have the 'STROPPY DAUGHTER FROM HELL' She's being completely unreasonable in every way and wants her own way ALL OF THE TIME. Well I'm sorry missy, You've messed with the wrong mother here. I won't allow you to win but have to have a nap first....zzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzz.

Billy Elliott

Fabulous show!

Took our two kidlets on Monday evening who joined the packed out audience who were all enthralled by a brilliant show. Of course we gave a standing ovation to the young lad who played Billy Elliott and I must say his young collegue who played Michael too! What a future little star he is going to be too. In fact all the children who performed were stars and the adults were pretty good too.

I haven't stayed in London for few years and we have never stayed overnight with the children and the hotel wasn't too bad. It was one I found on the net and I got a good deal on the room. We enjoyed some family time and yes of course my teenage loved one played up and drove us mad but she wouldn't be loved as much as she is if she didn't play up......I wish she'd behave though as it is driving me crazy right now. Anyone reading this who has a loved one who is driving them up the walls with their poor behaviour but yet adores them at the same time knows how hard life is with them.......Yet knows how much they love them!

Home now and bac to norm....."SO shut up that noise for gods sake" and Oh hell my back aches!