Goodbye 2007

Less than three hours left of this year.

It is time to say goodbye to all that has gone and time to look forward to the new year. My son says he is looking forward to being a teenager and being able to swear at people! LIKE HELL HE IS!!!!! Right now both of the little devils are annoying me so I've told them to be a bit quieter because I'm tired to be honest.

So it is goodbye to what?.....to who?
Madeleine McCann, kidnapped aged 3
Rhys Jones aged 11, murder victim
Kevin Greening, Radio DJ, died Saturday aged 44
Benazir Bhutto, assassinated aged 54
Ike Turner, the man who beat but never defeated Tina Turner, died , aged 76
Les Shannon, Footie manager aged 81
Anton Rogers, actor who I last saw in Chitty Chitty on the West End a couple of years ago. Died aged 74
Tony Holland, 67, co wrote Eastenders
Ian Smith, Rhodesian Prime Minister, aged 88
Alderbrook, aged 18 - a racehorse who gets a mention for no other reason other than I feel like mentioning it.
Bao Zunxin, 70, Chinese intellectual and jailed Tiananmem Square activist who deserves more of a mention than a racehorse!
Alan Coren, writer aged 69
Werner Von Trapp, aged 91. The iconic inspiration and leader of the Trapp family singers
Glut of 112 year olds who died this year (too many to mention)
Princess Katherine of Greece and Denmark (the last surviving grandchild of Queen Victoria)
Lois Maxwell, 80 year old original Miss Moneypenny
Marcel Marceau aged 84 the infamous French mime artist
Maia Simon 67, French film and TV actress who headed to Switzerland where there is a clinic specializing in assisting deaths. Sounds like a good idea if you can do it to me.
Colin McCrae, British racing driver who was only 39 when he and his 6 year old son were killed in a helicopter crash
Clare Oliver, Australian activist who had to become famous after discovering she had cancer and then only having weeks to live. Three weeks later she was dead. Terribly sad
Jane Wyman, 90, Actress
Luciano Pavarotti opera singer aged 71
Shitsu Nakano aged 113 from Japan, the Worlds oldest person!

That's half the list from today
I shall complete my personal goodbye list tomorrow as I'm bored now and it's 10.30pm and I need to be with my kids.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

I Feel Sick

Christmas Day went with a whimper. After removing that second present and teen daughter seeing it sitting here for the last 24 hours, she has been an absolute angel. Funny that isn't it?

"When can I open my present?" She enquires.
"When we decide". We reply. "Maybe today, maybe tomorrow". Now normally there would be a tantrum following this but surprise surprise, politeness follows. That's just how we like it. I understand being a teenager is difficult. You have hormones to contend with plus my daughter has my raging pain monster which scares her as much as it does me. But this does not give her the right to treat me like dirt. I felt horrible because I ......can't remember if I wrote this yesterday? I told my daughter that if she continues to behave in this vindictive way, telling us she hates us all the time and making family life unbearable, that when she finishes school at 16 she can find a job and move out. After all if she hates us then what is the point in being around us? She's only here to get her bed and board it appears and she uses her dad to get her from A to B. He gets most of her anger and he also angers me as he will not listen to me when I try and help him build his relationship with our daughter. If only he would meet her in the middle - Be the adult, then the arguments would lessen and we would have a 'normal angry teen' instead of an 'mega pent up angry teen'.
Going back to what I said - Why did I say that? I feel so upset with myself but it's true! I don't want to be around all of this anger and I had an argument on Christmas Eve with my husband because of our daughter and his stubburn refusal to meet in the middle. He's learning to take back control of authority which is great and I 100% support him but you cannot be a control freak which is what he is becoming. This I will not support.

Today I am tired. My gallbladder is hurting too and I feel sick. It hasn't played up for a while now so why is it chosing boxing day to make an appearance? I've made the traditional Boxing Day German Potato Salad (tradition in our house), pasta salad is on the go and roast ham is in the oven. No wonder I don't feel great. Do not ask me how my back feels......I can't feel it.

Roll on 2008.

Joy To The World And To Teenagers - GROW UP!

And let's hope joy soon hits my 14 year olds face or I will be moving out and taking her hard found presents with me - Oooh the little minx. (There other words I'd like to use but it is Christmas Day and I'm full of the spirit of Christmas good will and have had a good 'go' at her and good cry all ready. Why oh why do teenagers have to have such mouthy gobs on them? Just look at the photo here of teenagers? Mine looks very similar.

Happy Christmas and my sympathies go out to those who have to live with teenagers and now feel bloody hacked off and wish they never bothered putting in all of that effort into finding all of those difficult to find pressies! Yesterday my bolshy, rude and plain nasty little madam became so horrible that hubby and I took one of her presents and told her we were giving it to charity - That present IS STILL going to charity so I hope they like High School Musical (I'm quite pleased to offload it really).

We have another present this morning which is again sitting here next to me and it's not going to be opened by that child until I see some resemblence of good behaviour!

It makes me so angry, upset, confused, worried, because I don't know what to do? I don't know why she kicks off for no reason? I suppose that's a teen thing? She tells me she hates her dad for past reasons and will not forgive but my view is that forgiveness is the only way forward. I love her dearly and want to 'fix' the problem but I can't. She's a TEENAGER isn't she and she needs to grow up however until she does grow up I have to put up with those tantrums with her treating me like something she walked in. Mind you her dad gets it worse than I do!

Enough of moody teens, she actually brought me a present which she hinted at for weeks so I knew what it was - SOCKS; nice thick semi warm ones for my horrible thick freezing feet. My son brought me Leona Lewis on CD which I totally did not suspect. I thought he'd get the single not the long play as it costs £10. He's not hit those teen years yet.......One year to go........

Must go my duck awaits. (Cooked real one looks much better!)

The Other Website

I have had a couple of queries as to when I am going to get back to my Surviving Chronic Pain Website and just to let you know I making one of those New Years Resolutions to get back into it and get on with it.

I could give a great excuse and say the pain monster has been a complete b*****d and getting to the laptop has been the last thing I have wanted to do.

Fingers crossed I will get back here before Christmas but if not.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Saturday Christmas Get-together

Oh how I love our pre-Christmas Saturday family get-together.
I'm sure I talked about this last year and said how I couldn't get up to see the family the year before last; but again I'll talk about it as it was a great afternoon and something happened that brought back such a wonderful memory. So excuse the long entry.

My uncle had been going through some old photos and found one which he thought I would like to see.......It was about 20 years old and so funny. It was of a rather handsome man in his late 30s pulling a rather ugly face. Yet still his handsome,kindness, graciousness, wonderfulness, shone through. That man was my dad.

I hadn't realised how much I missed him till I saw that photo and the tears started to flow. It's been a few days over eight years since he passed and even as I write this I feel the sadness of not having him here. What was so very odd was on the day of our classic family get-together we also watch the final of Strictly Come Dancing and there's Gethin (excuse if I've spelt it wrong), and another aunt saying that he has 'the look' of my dad! Now that really was the strangest thing as I fancy the pants off Gethin. I've always thought that my dad was a gorgeous man and my mum made a wonderful choice when she picked him. Now I don't fancy my dad in that sense so don't get me wrong but just saying how handsome he was.
I told a friend this morning about the photo and she told me how I talked about my mum but hardly ever about my dad. She's right. I don't know why because I adored him. Maybe the pain is too much to think about? Losing him days before Christmas is bad enough and I have had to put myself on autopilot for many years to help me cope with the stress of those days. I thought I was OK? I thought that pain had gone......It has not. I've told my uncle that I would let him have my addy for this blog and I know he is likely to read this and if he does I want to say THANKS.
I LOVE THAT PHOTO!!!!!! I do not have many pictures of my dad and I'm so happy (even through my tears) that I have this one which I'm honoured to have.

So my last words for this blog entry our in honour of my father.
The best dad in the world, the best grampy in the world, the best friend to those who knew him, the best employee to those who employed him and the most wonderful man that ever lived and died.

Last Chrsitmas I Gave You My Heart

But The Very Next Day, You Gave It Away..........

Ah! Wham had a great number two Christmas hit with that little ditty there didn't they? Are you full of the joys of Christmas yet? I'm getting there but my pain levels have been so high and I've been unable to get on top of anything/card sending/email writing etc. It's driving me bananas....with frustration but also because my pain is so bad I'm inconsolable every evening. My kids have tried to cheer me up however I'd rather they left me alone to suffer in silence. My son came to my room last night and watched TV with me and all I wanted to do was cry; not because I didn't want him there I may add, but it's every evening not just occassional now. I just can't stand it. I'm not getting to sleep till gone midnight and right now I know I need to go and lie down because I'm being stupid sitting here. None of this is very festive is it?

I have my family get-to-gether on Saturday. We shall see if I am up to it? If not then the kids can go up with their dad. My big plan is lots of medication!!!!!!!!!!!

Straight A Students

What a lovely Christmas Surprise!
My children have BOTH brought home good school reports this term. My son's is (I shouldn't say this) but expected as he always puts in a lot of effort to produce great results and he's in a new private school which means he's no longer at the top of the pile any more. He's having to work to get up to that top spot and it may take him till he leave in July 2009 till he reaches that aim in some areas! Other areas like PE/games he has already achieved a great deal and already annoyed his head of PE by leaving the footie team as my lad doesn't really enjoy the sport as much as his beloved rugby. Next term is rugby season and practice has already started and so my lad is in his element. He pulled muscles this week and was 'miffed' with the coach because of the lack of stretching beforehand - I'm sure those in the know understand what I'm talking about?! My son still produced a '2B' which I'm sure would have been a '1A had he stuck with the football squad! (Numbers for effort and 1 being excellent to 5 being dire, letters for achievement, A being well above average, C average, E having series weaknesses).
My son's weakest subject is French but yet he still received a D1 (officially D2 but verbally upgraded when spoke to teacher and she realised how much hard work my son is putting in at home to catch up with his peers who are way ahead of him. Best subject was saxophone lessons - A1! There were other 'As' and other '1s', a couple of Cs and a mixture of of 'B2s' All in all a super effort.

Now for my daughter who did not gain so many grade As (In fact she gained just the one but it was for ICT and she has NEVER EVER gained an A in ICT and so it is all the more special. Her grades were mostly Cs, a few Bs and then Ds, with an E thrown in for a section in Art. Everything was broken down into "Realisation on theory" or "Homework" or "Technical appreciation of the Dingily Dangle Dongle" - Get my drift? All seemed a bit silly and I would have preferred a straight forward grade for effort, homework and achievement.
What was striking was that my darling daughter is doing her homework! Yes at long last things are moving forward. There is inconsistancies however she is flowing in the right direction. It is not an Amazon but a little trickling stream which sometimes has a backflow and gets it wrongs but hay ho I don't care. She's getting there now and paying that money for her education is worth it.

OK I've written along entry and I have a splitting headache which is driving me up the wall. I feel sick too and don't quite know what to do with myself!!!!!!!!! My daughter has just annoyed me and I've shouted at her which has made me feel worse - So much for feeling great about her. I still feel good about her acheivements. It has been a major step for her to change schools; 14 is such a hard age but I don't think she realises that 37 is too.

Nicked Bike

GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr

Yesterday was one of those days. My son went off to his ballet class and was late back......Hubby then noticed his bike lock on the floor and I knew what my son was going to say when he walked through the door.
Yes, some thieving b*****d had stolen his beloved bicycle!

I cannot say what my emotions were yesterday - actually I can; anger, hurt, fear (of intrusion and that maybe someone was watching my 11 year old), upset and I had a cry and shout about the whole affair. What annoyed both hubby and I was my son's reaction to what happened. He told us that he had put the bike behind some bins and hoped and thought it would be safe - Not in the city and just before Christmas! Some druggie or some little sod has run off with it and even typing this makes me angry. We've had a child nearly steal it from our front garden before and I can't believe that a CHILD would try and steal from another child but it happens. There are no morals in some households and that's the truth of it all isn't it? When my son couldn't find the bike he was angry, cried and felt those emotions we felt but since then he has hardly shown any remorse for his stupid mistake. Yes he can walk to and from school but it is a long way and I'll be honest I'm going to struggle with him making that journey in the darkness. I'm a mum and isn't that natural?

The only choice was to find him a new/second hand bike as soon as possible and so hubby decided to take him to local shop where they inflate the prices (and I've already seen that compared to the net this is true), and he has brought my son a brand spanking new bike, a new chain, new lights and I hope an attitude to never forget his lock.
£191 later.........