Teenage daughter from hell alledgedly

What have I done to deserve this nightmare? ARRRGGHHHHH!!!

Yes I have inherited a younger version of ME. I've told her she's rubbish at it compared to me and to try a bit harder so she has and now she's damn good at being vile and repulsive. Yesterday the teenage Queen of mean threw the most horrible words of nastiness at me and followed this off with "I hate you".....Hmmmm "OK" I replied, "I'll phone up nanny and you can stay with her until we can get a place in care!" Oh her face was a picture, she did not expect that from me I can tell you. I kept myself calm even though her words cut right through me. Mind you my mother has hurt me much more than my daughter ever could and so I'm hardened to it (I have forgiven my mother and that comment is said with forgiveness and love even though it sounds like it isn't) I adore my daughter and could not understand she insisted on interrupting a phone call I was having with friend of mine who funnily enough was talking to me about her ador-orrible teen. My DD interrupted over four times and my friend cold not believe the vile that dripped from my daughter's mouth. Yes that girl knows how to hurt.

The other day she tried this game but not as severe and said her sorry later and said she didn't hate me. Yes I know that as I have been 13! She's only repeating what I said to my mother (Bless her). Problem she see's that her brother is treated differently because he is a different child. Shouldn't they all be treated differently?

I've just fought again for her because of one of her teachers. Of course we've had a huge row the night before but she's a teen and I told her she had to write a letter of apology to say why she did not turn up after school when this teacher asked her too. (Even though my daughter felt she had done nothing wrong and now I feel even more angered, but read on)

This teacher has according to her head of department has 'good' ways dealing with behaviour but it does not make sense to me why my child who only normally only an occasional sullen monster at home, should behave badly in one lesson? I won't go on about what happened at the beginning of term but I had a very upset daughter. No maybe I should! Some very inappropriate things were said to my darling daughter (to be a DD from now on as it's quicker) and I had her repeating them to her dad and me in tears. I phoned this teacher and asked "Have you an problem with my daughter because she's come in floods of tears three times now and this is not acceptable?" I've spoken to a couple of friends and I this teacher has spoken to her superior however when I have spoken to my friends who are all I think all have good morals, they've been stunned that a teacher would speak to a child in such a way! If you were trying to "cheer her up" as I accepted the answer to be, those words would not be used.
I managed to get my DD to put it in the past or I thought I had except it seems I have not? My DD said that she feels things will change for about a week and then all will revert back to old. The difference is that the head of department has assured us that my DD can move to an alternative class if WE are still unhappy in the new year. My DD has an assessment in the next couple of weeks and believe me my daughter will be doing the best she can but if her work has dropped then we know why?

I've deleted some of what I wrote because I was angry yesterday when I first spoke to the head of department. What my DD told me on numerous occasions and what I was told by the teacher did not match and my DD does not lie! She finds it physically impossible to lie to me!!!

To briefly explain. A situation occurred in class where my DD was given an envelope by her teacher and she knew what it was and put it in her bag. The other students in her class kept badgering her about "What are they?" In the end she became more and more frustrated and told them to shut up. In all of that time the teacher did not ONCE tell any of the other students off but then gave my DD an after school detention. My DD said that was not fair and she could not come back because she had orchestra practice. She had some duets and a solo and its her only joy at school right now. She told me more than once that her teacher said she had to come but her teacher denies hearing my daughter saying she couldn't come? Odd that and stinks of cover up. Because my DD did not come back after school, the policy is that the 5 mins (which the teacher said on the phone to me was TEN minutes!), turns into a 30 minute detention. The head of department was insisting that my daughter deserve this 30 minute detention "To show support for the teacher". I'll be honest but as soon as I realised the LIE, that's when I knew my DD was NEVER going to do that 30 minutes - FIVE yes, thirty NO.

The morning after the night before is this.

My daughter wrote the letter and apologized for not returning to class and told her teacher she was angry with her. I have it from the head of department that we can move my DD if we are still unhappy in January. My DD said that a week after I spoke to her teacher last time she reverted back to norm. My DD is so unhappy in that class and this is nothing like the past two years. She was one of the best in that class when she joined and she better still be in her assessment. We of course will ALWAYS support her and I felt quite peeved with the head of year when she implied that "Of course you will be ensuring she does well in her assessment?" Maybe she should talk to my DD's old teacher from the past two years as it was the same one! HE KNOWS HOW MUCH WE CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN AND HE KNOWS WE SUPPORT OUR CHILDREN! Obviously I'm still angry? Yes I am but my daughter has switched off in this subject and it's so sad because why should it be up to US to push her to well in an assessment when it's the teacher's job to teach her? I don't know when she last had a homework in that subject and we always ask about this?

Last bit.

I hope that this teacher gets some more support I truly do because she needs support. She's probably a brilliant teacher in the subject she teaches and it's the behaviour that is letting her down. I've been a school Governor for nine years and I've seen a mixture of classroom environments. I imagine teenage ones are a whole lot harder to deal with than the infant and junior ones that I have seen but it is still teaching and teachers are sometimes abandoned. I've seen one teacher who received an brilliant score at ofsted yet she was one of the worst teachers I have ever come across. By luck she never taught my children. What a relief I can tell you. The term before my son started at junior school, she shouted at him because he happened to be waiting for me! I was talking to the headteacher and she decided that this little boy sitting doing nothing was naughty because he wouldn't answer her! Why wouldn't he answer her you may ask? He had heard so much about her that he was scared of her!

I just hope that the head of department accepts my daughter's letter of apology for that teacher and in turn she accepts it because if not it is STALEMATE. I am fuming to know that teacher could lie but there are other children who heard my daughter so at least I know she will not be called a lier!

As for her being a right madam! I can handle her at home - Read tomorrows entry - maybe not?