Me Website

I've not updated it for some time but I have quite a lot to put on to it........

Loads of interesting UK information which we are lacking here. There's plenty of American info but not enough UK and also I owe my mate Anin some help as I promised her my knowledge and completely forgot. Sorry Anin, I will make up for my error.

I worked out why yesterday was such a terrible day. (It's Saturday morning nearly 2am). I was disturbed taking my tablets and did not complete taking them. I was in a horrendous way throughout the day and could not understand exactly why I felt so poor? I understood waking up unwell or should I say not sleep well; that was the pouring rain. Then all day I could not bring myself to even move I felt so bad. I was getting hot sweats and then suddenly it clicked; I hadn't taken all my meds and the morphine was the one MASSIVE indicator that swung it for me. Hubby nearly got a right hook though because he said ;
"Well you've managed quite well without them haven't you?"

WHAT!!!???!!!

I then politely pointed out that I was feeling like shite and had been all day, had been stuck in bed with sweats, a bowel obstruction (that was another matter) and the pain in my back and legs was so severe I had been in tears with my breakthrough Oramorph not even touching the sides. "Which part of that was managing quite well?" He though again after that.

Must try and sleep.

What to do?

Another flare up.

Sort of self inflicted and also weather inflicted.

We have flooding in the UK, thankfully not here. Feel terribly sorry for some people in this country. I'm lucky in that respect.

Can't write much today as I'm feeling rough. Do wish I would snap out of this.

Gordon is a Moron

So team Brown is now in charge hey?

56 year old Gordon Brown is putting Education and health first, (where have we heard that one before? And also he wants to restore trust in politics - Might find that one a bit difficult! After today being asked to form a new government by the Queen.

"Let the work of change begin." He promised to "try my utmost".

A reshuffle of the cabinet will follow quickly I suppose with those he feels comfy with......Interesting to see who he selects after turning down Harriet Harmon for Deputy Leader after she won the vote for the job? Mind you it was replacing David Prescott and what did he do?....I suppose he was a good person for left of the party and Harriet is too so she deserved to get that job and it concerns me that she was fobbed off with a differing role from the one she won.

Who the heck knows what is around the corner now that Gordon is in charge. Nobody dared to stand against him and it was in the end a forgone conclusion that he was the new leader of the Labour Party.....No democracy should be like that but sadly that's what happened. I don't like him much but I like the Tories even less so what choice have I got at the next election? Vote MONSTER RAVING LOONY! YAY!!!!!!!

Sleep

Very tired.

Had a little chat with my darling daughter. She's having a rough time starting her new school and I find it hard to give her excuses so I won't. No excuses when she's an adult.

Always the same old samd old.
Hope she grows out of this quickly. Have spoken to her and hope she understands?

40 Love

Wimbledon has started and will no doubt be stopped in full flow by 'Rain Stopped Play' in the next few days. Isn't it always the way with Wimbledon fortnight that the weather is shite? Unless of course I've booked a holiday and then the weather is fabulous in this country while I've paid a fortune for even better weather abroad.

I found out yesterday that one of my good good friends has fractured her pelvis! Oh the poor love as if it doesn't rain but it pours for her? She's has had a complete set of misfortunes and I want so much to call her but I don't have much money right now and what we have we are desperately trying to save for these school fees. Everyone looks at us as if we are loaded because we are paying for private education but the opposite is true. (Actually my true friends do not look at me that way, only some acquaintances do). Back to my lovely friend with the fractured pelvis. I often wonder how on earth she gets through each day. She is in so much pain and many meds are beyond her because she is allergic to many of the ingredients in them. Life has become an obstacle course for her full of ever increasing hurdles. I moan about my life but what about her? She's a wonderful lady.

Me? I am not so good......It's emotional though. My daughter played up again this morning after being the princess of all biatches yesterday. (I reserve the queen for my dear departed mother who knows she was a nightmare!) Yesterday morning was the final straw and so last evening we told (Hubby and I in a pincer movement) our dear daughter that enough was enough and we wanted this eratic screaming morning behaviour to end. We have placed fines in line for late getting out of bed/getting out of room/getting back to room after feeding mad rabbit fed etc. We thought we would see an improvement this morning .........
SEVENTY NINE PENCE WORTH OF FINES!

I don't think she cares. In total since Sunday she has lost £1.27 of her pocket money. With those fines in place she could potentially lose seventy pence plus a day which will wipe out any remaining money left. We have sent her a letter tonight which she is yet to read as she is not home. We felt bombarding her with anger would set her off so a gentle funny letter was more the answer.
"Dear darling daughter,
We love you very very much (Oh this is so very very true), but you are driving us to distraction every morning........."

Any tips?
Greatly needed.

Agendas

I've got to write an agenda for a meeting I'm going to next week and I started to think about the hidden agendas we all have in our lives.

We see it on reality programmes but also in the people we work with and people we live with. I have to put up with one man who's ego is as big as South America, Europe and Australasia put together. I decided to tell said man what I thought of him a month or so ago and OH BOY! He did not like what I said. I have since tried to ensure I can at least work with the man but he has put down the shutters and acted like an overgrown schoolboy .....and immature overgrown schoolboy! What probably didn't help was him telling me he did not accept my apology and me saying I didn't apologise for saying what I did because it was true - It was the WAY I said it. I could have re-phrased things better? Oh hell.....Glad I do not have to live in the Big Brother house I would have had to throttle the man in his sleep.

Talking of the Big Brother house, it's day twenty something and it is a new task of sleep deprevation - Oh what joy. Just looking at the live feed I think Billi is already asleep so that's blown any chances of the twins having a good birthday tomorrow.

Seany, The Crowned King of Clowns

Wrote this entry then found out I had not lost my blog entry from yesterday and it was all saved from the doom and gloom of internet darkness! (Hooray) Deleted any repeats and off we go!

Big Brother News and not the life and times of Wiglet YET.

Seany the mad Irishman who I never took too went out on Friday. Charley sobbed her stone cold heart out because she had voted for him of course and was in fact probably quite happy he was gone. Guilt brought those tears about.

The one who surprised me was Billie. He went into the Diary Room and cried for the lamented prankster which now makes me wonder more and more if in fact Billi held more than a soft spot for Seany? Could Billi be bisexual? Possibly? Does it matter in the great scheme of things? No not at all.

So bye bye Seany. Gerry will miss you as one of Seany's pranks caused Gerry's best buddy Freddie to smell of lube and Gerry loves Freddie. He did not appreciate the lubricated sheath covered bear he found in his bed.

The weekend ended with a Nobbly knees competition which Charley and Brian won and poor Brian had to spend a night with Charley in a caravan in the garden....Poor Charley had to put up with Brian's dire trumpets.

Charley failed what was supposed to be a holiday and both are back in the house. If you ask me (which you are not) I think the producers thought the caravan thing was not working out and decided to ensure those two failed so a punishment could ensue.....(Evil laugh)......The start of the week of hell is upon the housemates if only they knew?

Big Brother Postette

I have not given a BB post for a while so here goes. It is a soggy Sunday afternoon. Not much happening in the world except Harriet Harmen becoming Deputy Prime Minister - Wooo Yaaaah Isn't that the MP who sent her son to a private school because the state school was not good enough? Anyway I digress........

Big Brother

On Friday, Seany left and I would have voted him out had I wanted to waste my money (I'm not prepared to vote at all anymore). I felt his game plan was a divide and conquer kind of rule. I was wrong.......

He was a classic prankster and one with a huge ego. He lied about being gay which I think we can all agree was true though and now he is saying he is bisexual and fancied Nicky who in turn fancies Liam. Now that would have been an odd threesome. A gruesome twosome with Liam livening up the act.


I have a feeling Charley girl will be out on Friday but I hope not. She brings her own fun to the show and I fear it will go downhill if she leaves. What is left for it? All we will have is Ziggy and his terrible attempts to write a song with chalk (This is what he was doing a couple of days ago and I can now see why he has not had any further hits since his boyband days); we'll have the twins constantly saying "Pink" and "Yah" and Laura "What's happening now?" .......I'm bored with that.

I want excitement and I'll be honest BB is boring me. I need it to liven up by next weekend as that is when the husband is back on nights and I don't sleep and need BB as company.

Off to live feed right now though as Nicky is talking to Liam about how many dates he has been on - Could it be livening up?????

Blogging

Second entry today because I don't feel great and my computer is my buddy.

I wonder how many people wonder around the internet viewing ramblings of the likes of me and others? We are probably some psychologists dream because why do we put down our thoughts and dreams for all the world to see? I know why I do it; I do it because I can I suppose. I have this laptop and I'm not able to do much else am I? There are others who use their laptops and computers to manipulate and spread political lies and of course spread truth too. And then there's me and my daft gobbledigook of kidlets, rabbits, Biggle the pain monster and a husband who drives me crazy too.

I never used to need this avenue and I don't think anyone knows how important it is unless you are stuck in a position such as I? Nothing is easy anymore and everything is 1000 times harder.

Doctor Who is on and it's a goodie. I like John Simm who is playing 'The Master' in this episode. I think I might even fancy him.

Espanol

Some Spanish what his name left a message on my blog but as I do not have a clue what it said and my Spanish is limited to Muchas Gracias por tu ultima carte que recibe .....Can't remember the last word? It means thanks for my letter I received it yesterday! Oh it's 'ayer' - that means yesterday.

Went to watch my daughter play her clarinet again this morning with her ensemble. It's the last time as she leaves after next week. She will continue with the orchestra but this is all too much and she's growing old and wants to be a teen and go to town on a Saturday morning. It is funny how we view our parenting and see other parents and how sometimes they push push and push their kids into things they do not want to do and then they rebel. Our daughter certainly rebels but we do not want it to get to the point of open warfare.

So now I feel terrible, Absolutely terrible! I'm struggling to cope with my pain levels and all I want to do is crash on my bed and cry occasionally. I've slugged my oramorph and will have to get some more at this rate. I've been feeling very proud of myself that the last bottle has lasted so long - longer than any other bottle ever. Is this a sign that my pain is lessening? Maybe I'm taking less of my long term morphine too so it has got to be good. (One can always dream..........)

Not Very Bunny

Jimmy the super Bunny was not so super this morning. In fact he was decidedly poorly. I think he has been at the buttercups which bunnies do not like and my son found him juddering in his hutch which I said was him "having a dream". He could have been? I went to him and picked him up and reasured my lad before he went off to school because I didn't want him to worry all day.....But you know who you are a bit concerned yourself but don't want to show it?

I went out an hour ago and Jimmy was lying in his hutch with his head to one side and certainly not the rabbit I know. The funny thing is he seems perfectly normal now? Still, I have made an appointment with the vet for this afternoon because I'm not taking any chances but he is eating, pooing! and doing all what rabbits should be. We played with his 'tossing sweetcorn' and in the end he nudged his way out of his hutch and told me (in rabbit talk) that he really did not want to spend the day in his hutch and please could he go in his run? I've let him out but I will have to keep an eye on him. He seems so normal and he is eating, drinking and so it is so odd that he came across as so inwell just a short ago?

I couldn't have got him to the vets even if I wanted too anyway as my back is so painful. I think I am paying for going to see my daughter in concert on Tuesday! I've been crying because of pain and worry abd now the rabbit seems fine and I've made plans to collect my son early from school and everything!!!!! ARRGGHH. I'll phone the school and the vet again soon if Jim still seems OK.

My son had a worry at the bus stop after school a couple of days ago. It was probably just a sad old drunk man but he would not stop asking my son questions about where he lived and who his parents were? Thankfully a new teacher at my son's school came up and started talking to my son and the man walked away. There are mums sitting at the bus stop and guess what they did? BLOODY EFFING WELL NOTHING! Bitches......

The new teacher phoned the school and has given a report to the headteacher, as has my son. I spoke to the head yesterday and the rule is to always pass on this sort of thing to the police as I would have done anyway. I managed to collect my son yesterday but today he was going to get the bus and I've been trying to get us a lift to the vets as I'm in no fit state to do anything. On a scale of 1-10 I am pretty much up there on about a 7-8 right now and normally I live on a daily 3 I suppose which means there is always pain. 7-8 means I can't concentrate on what I am writing and I have to keep stopping. I need to keep writing so that it keeps the pain away......Catch 22 then? Yessss siry!

Because Ricotta Can Be Boring

What do you think of Roasted Asparagus with rock salt, lemon and olive oil? Sounds lovely hey? I have not got any which for me sounds dull as dishwater (Oh lovely combo, dishwater and asparagus!) Instead for Sunday Luncheon we have Roast Lamb, Roast Ordinary and Sweet Potatoes, Brocolli, Cauliflower and Petit Pois. The lamb is marinated in garlic and thyme with a little olive oil for moistness and I have not lifted a finger.


Hubby has been out in the kitchen today. He's dropped my seseame oil which has stunk the room out and so I advised him to use the anti bacterial washing up liquid on the floor (the one with basil and tea tree) so we have an abundance of delightful flavours wafting through the house now. The Lamb has gone in the oven on circotherm NOT circoroast, now that is the mistake. I find I blast the joint on high and then turn it down as this seals in the juices and you get a marvelous tasting joint.

In a couple of hours time we will have fluffy roast potatoes, a wonderfully cooked lamb (which I will take over from shortly). I can't allow hubs to kill the Sunday Roast I just can't. He crucifies the spuds and even though he has been told dozens of times how to get those tatties fluffy, he cooks them rock hard and forgets to bash 'em up a bit before putting them in the hot oil. He also forgets to take the lamb out when it is still a little pink and then let it cook gently under some foil in it's own juices. He turns the oven on to 170 degrees for the whole process given the choice and wonders why he never has crispy pork or nicely cooked meat.

Oh I should not grumble it is Father's Day. He forgot!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all fathers out there. My own is in heaven. I miss him which is why this entry is about a joint of lamb. My dad taught me how to cook a great mashed potato but my mum taught me how to cook gravy but not a good roast. She liked to make sure meat was completely dead before she'd eat it whereas I guess I like it to still be a little red.
Love ya dad.

Rain/Pain Attack!!!!

Yes the little git pain monster has found his way to my pelivis, hips, right leg and foot (both legs when moving) and I prefer to lie here on my bed and not move unless I desperately have too.

Oh Woe Is Me!

The rain has held off today although the air is damp. My son camped out last night mad fool that he is. Oh what it is like to be 11 again? I remember those days well? No I don't actually. sadly.......

Very tired after not sleeping well and waking up at 4.30am and then about every half hour there after. Hubby is cooking zi dinner now and I need to stay awake.........just for a little while,;;;;;zzzzzzzzzz juzzzzt a //// aaaaa lliidddllle wwwwhiileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A glass of wine?

I'm having a nice glass of white with a plate of salmon and veg with I hope white sauce of some sorts (which hubby hopefully has brought?) Bet he forgot! The swine - As Love mussel Russel would say.

Need to cook the salmon first and me back is throbbing so it has to wait a mojo. Drinking the wine instead. Much nicer (Hic) With my meds is this such a good idea? Oh who gives a f....... FUDGE! Did you think I would say anything else?

My lad had his Taster Day at his posh prep school today while we went off to what could be his senior school and oh my golly gosh (now that is polite) I was overwhelmed with the place. The college is set in hundreds of acres with beautifully manicured lawns, cricket pitches, football pitches, college chapel, squash courts, Eton fives pitches (and I do not have a clue what that even is but I guess you play that at Eton too?)
We had to buy my son's uniform which is why we were at the College and my son has come home talking about it too. Normally 80% + follow onwards and although we are only considering our son as a day pupil and not a boarder but it hit home the enormity of what this all is.

We are (we hope) giving our son the best education we can. He will grasp it with both hands for the next two years and maybe he may turn into Bill Elliott and take up the offer of Ballet school in two years time instead? Who knows....
I spoke to him last night and told him what was said and we agreed to wait. Life moves very slowly when you are 11.

Must cook the fish. Back is killing. Hubby forgot the bloody sauce!

Ballet School!

I'm confused and confuddled.

My son has had TWO ballet lessons - ONLY TWO. He goes to lessons a full time 'Ballet and Theatre Arts' School. It's a small select school with only 60 places and you have to be invited to join full time but there are 140 part time places for dance and drama classes throughout the week and on Saturday.

The Director of the school phoned me hald an hour ago and told me that my son was doing brilliantly and offered him a full time place!!!!!
I have declined it because we have a place at an excellent school organised. That school has also written to me this morning stating it has increased its fees to £3725 per time! Oh hell.
My son will be so proud of himself when I tell him about the offer and he will want to take it up but he will also know it is not the best idea for now. (I hope). The director of the school has also said that my son schould go up to the next grade next term and has invited us all to the end of term production of the full time school end of term play (Hoping he will say "I will want to go there PLEEEEZE"). There will be another boy in the new class which pleases my son and he's not too worried about the uniform he has to wear. He even wanted me to take photos of him in it which I will put on my log soon. (With his face taken out) so not to show his identity).
I've also been advised that when he's brave enough to join another class, to do modern, or tap because he is talented. (And El director is also an agent and probably has plans!)

Maybe I do have the new Billy Elliott? Not singing in the west end production but a dancer - A talented dancer? I shall be careful not to allow him to do too much though but right now he wants to dance all the time and his ballet uniform was on most of yesterday evening. He is so happy and him happy makes me happy.

Mother Murders Own Teen Girls

I couldn't sleep last night.

At 8am on Wednesday morning a neighbour of Rekha Kumari-Baker called the police. Rekha 39, was then arrested following the discovery of the bodies of her daughters Jasmine, 13, and Davina, 16, at their home in Stretham, Cambridgeshire. Rekha was covered in her daughters blood after alledgedly stabbing them both.

It appears they may not had lived together but one may have lived with the father and one the mother but information is sketchy this morning. Also the girls were typical teens or maybe should I say on the more hard work kind of typical teen. Maybe the mother snapped? It is early days and nobody really knows what has happened yet. But it can never be easy bringing up children on your own.

Their father is too destraught to comment. Poor man.

Such tragic tales are rare but they happen. Teenagers are cocky and loudmouthed, rude and aggresive. What if their mum flipped? What if she was suffering from a mental illness and was unsupported? One could put two and two together and make five but that is not the right thing to do now.

Davina and Jasmine rest in peace girls.

Maddy - Body Hunt, Oh No

I hope it is a false alarm.

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch newspaper said on Wednesday it had received an anonymous letter describing a possible location where the "body" of missing Madeleine McCann could be found in Portugal.

This location is just 15kms from where the little girl was taken and the worst news anyone could want to hear.

Only time will tell if this is a false alarm. Let's hope it is and the press are all on to it because they are so hungry for news that they are ALL desperate for something to hold on too.....However gruesome.

I still don't know about how I feel on the McCanns. Were the right to leave their kids - NO. They paid the ultimate price and that should be it.

If little Maddy is still alive then I dread to think what is happening to her. Maybe it would be better if she were not alive and a murder investigation started so that the parents can grieve - If they were not involved in her deat in the first place of course?

Hump Day!

My darling daughter (actually I believe she was replaced at some point in the past two years with a duplicate as my old daughter used to be lovely and never argued constantly), is on a school trip to a local Mosque today. (Not this one obviously, it is beautiful)

She told me two weeks ago that she had to be at school at 8am - GREAT. Her school just happens to be across the city and I need to get her brother to school also locally, plus hubby is on nights and will not be able to get home in time to take her. So we made and changed our plans, hubby took an hour off his holidays and planned to finish early so he could take her (as me driving a car at 7.30am in the morning was going to be impossible really with my back), and all was settled.
"Don't worry", she said last night, I've found out I do not need to be there till 8.20am and "I'm meeting my friend at Starbucks in the city."


NO YOU ARE NOT.


All sounds odd and sounds like my darling daughter has found out it is a normal start and the mini bus which she normally uses to get to school is going to be used to get her and he classmates to the mosque. Therefore, she would not need to muck us about and could have gone in the minibus and she was going to meet her friend and catch a bus from the city to her school (wasting little money we have) instead. What a little minx.


Didn't want to tell hubby I had worked out darling daughter's plan so what we did was scupper it instead and told her that daddy dearest was going to take her all the way to her school and not to Starbucks as getting into the city in the middle of morning rush hour was a joke. (No I am not giggling), but to get one up on a teenager makes me feel proud - I can still do it!





My son is going to his second ballet class today and we're getting the 'kit' for him too. He is so excited and has decided that maybe he may not get into the Royal Ballet School. He's going to go for it anyway. The fees if you earn over £110,000 are £28,500 per year however there is a graduated fee scale and we would only pay a teeny amount of that cost. Gosh look at me - I've decided he could get there before he has! You never know though do you?

And the nominated HMs are....

Carole and Shabnam and Tracey.

And I think that is it?

Yes that is it........

Shabnam to go I think?

The Diary Room

Hello from Wiglet.

I watched the highlights of BB last night but to be honest I was rather bored by it all. I then saw later (after watching the penultimate episode of ER) that Chanelle and Charley were having a row! Actually I wasn't sure if Chanelle and Ziggy were rowing and I am Now on the forums to see who the heck it was?

I'm not sure what I think of BB this year? Is it as good as previous years? I suppose it has its moments and some better than other years, some worse than others. There is plenty of arguments and lots of staying up late which the housemates have worked out makes TV viewers very happy. This is good news for me when hubby is working nights and I can't sleep because it gives me something to watch in the early hours before the sun comes up.

Only one walk out and sadly that was my favourite Lesley. Her acidic tongue left me in hysterics and left her fellow HMs wondering what had happened to them?
Emily the racist - Or was she? It is a hard one that. Personally I would say she is a racist as no one says the 'n' word as easily as she does without saying it all the time without being a little racist. Sad but true.

Nominations in 4 minutes.......will anounce the results shortly

Big Brother's Greek Odyssy

So did Rydal Clindon or whatever his name was go into BB on Friday?

No of course not! Gerry Stergiopoulos a Greek, gay not bad looking man and also "I've been gay for a year" Irishman Seany O'Kane, entered the house (not each other!) oh er. I don't want to put a picture of Seany on my blog as I don't want to be 'ugly-est' but the fact is that Seany O'Kane is one of the uglist men I have ever seen. When entering the house Laura was heard saying to Ziggy "We've got a clown! He's a clown" after seeing how Seany was dressed head to toe in a variety of ridiculous mismatching colours. This was not to mention his mass of curly hair stuck on his head like a bad wig. This irritating Irishman is now not only badly dressed but ordering everyone about in the house as though he owns the place. I think the girls may regret telling him they did not like Ziggy being incharge as that is like telling Nero and then letting Caligula take over the show.

I like Gerry. He's coming across as I nice kind of guy and being a fellow Aquarian we are on the same wavelength. He has 3 degrees (Not the group but academically) and he works in an art gallery)....Of course like all of the others he wants fame because why go on the show?

Nominations today. Gerry, Clown-man Seany and two others were selected Aprentice stylie by the two new HMs and they just happened to choose Gerry's favs of the twins. These two innocents were probably the easily most manipulated and I think Seany knows that. But I also think the twins are not as stupid as they come across???

Marijo And Dr Pooh

My dear dear friend from the outer lands of where fashion never reaches and a where manicure is a posh French smelly compost to put on one's "back yard" I believe one says it?

Scratching one's arse with one's elbow is another favourite hobby when one is not talking to one's pidgeons (I believe that is all one is doing to them?! But you never know!!!!)

Well.....Marijo always reads my blog and is a lovely friend who I've never met but would love to more than words could ever say. She and I share so much in common and can talk about things much like some of my other friends can too, but I guess I feel I have a special relationship with each one of my friends..... however Marijo is one I can phone regularly being in the same country (except up in the middle of nowhere).

She's had a major operation on Saturday to have her large intestine removed and thankfully she sounded absolutely marvelous yesterday morn. She was brilliantly doped up after a terrible night of awful pain. Apparently adhesions had caused Dr Pooh (as we have called him in the past) big problems during the operation. She's now attached to a multitude of wires and a drainage tube as well as her designer 'ostomy' bag - Gucci I believe? Yes you can get it all if you have Bupa!

So my blog entry today is purely dedicated to Marijo (her stage name lovies not her real one). She's now dependant on the dedicated nursing staff in her posh brand new hospital where they will wait on her, peel her grapes and answer her phone and if she leaves early I will personally come up there and change her Gucci bag to an Asda one!

Tallulah

Tallulah (my daughter's crazy 4 month old bunny) has been causing the Wiglet household a nervous time over the past couple of days.

She's a gorgeous little wabbit with a moody personality which suits her mad fluffiness well. She's a complete nutter if the truth be known and when we put her in her run in the morning she immediately leaps around like a demented kangaroo on speed. Does she have springs on her paws too? Possibly?

Two days ago I spotted Lulu (as we call her) not looking herself???? She had somehow hurt her left back leg and it's been causing a limp for the past two days but no other problems. Only problem today her face was looking less mischievous and more frightened. So to comfort the kids and myself as well (I think) I spent £47 on an emergency vet and got her checked out.

The vet who we had never met before, was fantastic and looked after our little bunny. Thankfully that £47 is all spent on a muscular strain and a jab which has already made dear lulu feel better. She's currently sulking in her hutch and desperately wants to go out in her run next to her lover Jimbo.

Need some new photos of dear Tallulah and am awaiting the 'great bluetooth in the skyeth'. They will arrive here soon.......zzzzzz

14 Today!

Today is my daughter's 14th birthday and so in honour of this day I am awake at this ungodly hour (6am) typing on my laptop in my bed. This time 14 years ago, I was in hospital, in agonizing pain with contractions which were coming every five minutes and so I was told "You can go home if you want?" NO BLOODY LIKELY! The journey to get there was hell enough let alone getting there again. The contractions I had were one strong one after SIX minutes followed by a weaker one after another FOUR minutes. Was that not good enough for the hospital? It seemed not?

Yesterday we cancelled the 'family day out' with the Young Carers but decided on our on special family day. We're worried about one of our rabbits and didn't want to leave her all day anyway as she's hurt one of her back legs and is limping on it. She's eating, drinking and yes the other end is working well too so we're not too alarmed. I'm keeping a close eye on her and confining her to her hutch for the time being as she has a habit of running around like a lunatic in her run even though her leg will hurt her.

Friday night my back was screaming too and this led into Saturday morning. I decided to take an extra 30mgs of MST in the morning plus the full wack of paracetamol during the day and still needed a about 120mgs of Oramorph but when I think about it if this was last year I would not have coped with yesterday......Maybe if I had tried I would have need 120mgs on the day followed my 200mgs the following day. I don't feel too bad at all today plus I have in general reduced my meds from last year. I'm looking forward and not backwards and it is a nice feeling but back to my daughter. We went first to restuarant in the city which we hadn't been to since before she was born. Couldn't believe it had been so long. It used to be a much better place unfortunately but that said the food was still very good. We then went on to see Pirates of the Carribean. And here is the lovely Orlando at the premiere of said film and isn't her a delightful man to look at on a Sunday morn?.......Better still? Johnny 'Ooooh what I'd like to do to you if I ever go hold of you' Depp is also here at the premiere of the film in California. The sunglasses give the weather away as if it was the UK it's likely to be hissing it down.

After too many hours sitting we eventually got home and I went upstairs and hid in my bedroom for while. I needed to rest my legs which by now were jelly-esque, so painful and matched my back. After a good cry I felt mutch better.

***Fell asleep again there for five minutes and awoke to find I had changed my TV channel over to a shopping channel? - Only put the TV to see the news once hubby went to work)***

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to day to my daughter.

An obituary to BB's Emily

Couldn't stand her.

Happiness and joy

My son told me today that when he dances he feels full of "Absolute happiness". He said he doesn't get that feeling from any other thing he does and in the class he knows he has to be serious on the outside, but on the inside he is buzzing with joy.

He wants to learn every step to the point of us going on the internet today and looking up his 'arabesques, grand pliés, battement frappés' and he knew what they al were and gave me his own fairly adequate example of them considering he had only had one lesson.

It is The Royal Ballet School next for my lad. He's looked it up on the net and I've spoken to the school where he had his class yesterday and apparently my son is actually very good. Is he good enough to be talking about The Royal Ballet School yet? Oh why not.......If my son has found something that honestly makes him feel that true absolute happiness and he wants to make a career out of it too (and remembering he is only 11), then I give him my blessings to be happy.

My daughter is next......And she is somewhat harder. I had a conversation with a nightmare of a music teacher who wanted to tell me my daughter was rude but I would not let him because she may be rude to me but I'm her mum and that is kinda of allowed as being a teen. Telling him she had forgotten her clarinet is not rude (Just annoyed him). My daughter has now decided to give up music GCSE which she loved......because of that idiot of a man. How dare he. We have also decided to get her clarinet lessons outside of school as my daughter is not getting on with the one inside of school. This man wanted to have a go.....No chance, I can have a go and that is my duty - my job. Not his.

So tomorrow I shall speak to the Deputy of Studies and I have advised my daughter to do the same. She is going to ask about changing to geography and asking about what's in store for the next two years. If it's a trip away somewhere nice then she'll love it. We'll talk again then on Monday my nearly birthday'ed 14 year old daughter will walk into school and state her new aim. She knows if she swaps she better do well or we will never let her hear the end of it. (Poor lass).....Wish she would find her true inner happiness like her brother?

Big Brother NOMINATIONS Week one

So it's Emily and Shabnam?

Would I have predicted this?

Why YES.

When Ziggy first entered the house and Charley first flirted with him I, I thought "He can't stand her". She's too full on but I don't know if dear Ziggy will nominate her? He's a clever man and will look at who the public want to get rid of.

Emily is a snooty ex privately educated schoolgirl (Me thinks she thinks she is still there?),who patronizes those who she believes are beneath her so of course has become public enemy number one. Had she stopped her loathing of the 'lower classes' then maybe she would not be so disliked. Luckily Shabnam is a complete nutter really who is irritating beyond belief and the public will vote her out 3 to 1 over Emily.

There is only one problem. Dear Shabs has been so far up Charley's arse for the past six days that the only way she can be evicted is if a bowel surgeon is brought in on Friday to remove her!

Apart from Charley's piles problem, I'm sure all the other girls are comfortable that they are now safe (or as safe as Big Brother will let them be) for the next week. Who knows what's in store. We know that BB has locked the bathroom for naughty Shabnam's talking to Ziggy about nominations and then Emily and Ziggy have to indiviually select a punishment for Shabnam because Emily tricked Ziggy into saying he nominated her, (she's a sly one). So lets get this straight? Two punishments for the two people who talked about nominations.......BUT didn't Charley talk to Ziggy about nominations too?

Hmmmmmm??????

BB being selective?

Daughter is home

"I hated the beer and poured it out of my window"
She said

Thank GOD, my heart sighed.

I believe her.

As for the hidden food.......That is an ongoing problem which I will need to address.
She's trying to console herself.
Too much angst.
It is hard being a teenager.

Its not my gallbladder!?.

So what the heck is it?

Apparently my gallbladder is completely clear and I must have been seeing things? Was I seeing things or just misunderstanding that scan OR worse still have I got gallstones and it's just not being spotted on scan. This is regular mistake apparently.

I spoke to the 'other' GP today. I have two to be honest and can speak to both with relative ease. I explained that I was still in enormous pain and the symptoms fit. I said I was still nauseous but no longer being sick. I've stopped losing weight (shame actually!) but I will cook a meal and can't eat because of that feeling of yuck. Then when I do eat I get terrible gas and stomach pains. I also wake in the night with pain in my flank and under my ribs. If I don't take celebrex I'm in regular pain but thankfully this eases it down so I'm not in pain 24/7. It's always tender to touch though and I cannot believe that this has come through with this result?

My GP has suggested and endoscopy and said I can think about it but also I am seeing a bowel doc eventually (You all know the UK system) because I'm having probl the other end with bleeding. My GP told me that when I had the ultrasound, the sonographer noted I had a huge 'ball of gas' hiding the gallbladder and she wonders because the buscopan has helped so much if I have IBS. When I said it was so very painful she said "Yes it can be!" The other problem is the bleeding and I've already seen when arsehole who I've spoken about before. He suited his job title of bowel surgeon well the sh*t for brains dickhead. Sorry but he made me so angry when he did not listen to a word I said. He decided that I needed a colostomy. Not a CHANCE MATE.
I have been talking with my acupuncturist though and we have discussed that if it wasn't my gallbladder then it could be my upper bowel complaining. I'm seriously worried now that if it is and I'm bleeding too.....AND I'm in a lot of pain plus the nausea too......Then maybe it might be time to consider drastic action?

My GP is swapping the buscopan for another one but I forget it's name. She says it's longer acting and I won't need to take it four times a day which is helpful. I hope it will help!

I might get a private referral to a bowel doc just to speed things along?
I would like some answers......??????

On a good note my son is the next Billy Elliott and LOVED his first ballet lesson. "Buy me white split sole shoes please mum" he yelled as he got in the car. He's showed me some moves and oh what a darling.

On another bad note my daughter is about to walk throught the door and I'm dreading it. I found a can of lager under her bed......it was empty. She's hiding food again too. She's very low and chaing her school has made her feel frightened too. Her new clarinet teacher phoned today as I needed to talk to her as my daughter says she "doesn't like her" (after one lesson) This teacher said my daughter is very talented and as soon as she started playing she thought "My goodness me, we have a talent here." My daughter has no self confidence and will not play for her music teacher for her assessment and if only she would (she must). She says "I hate him" whereas she loved her last one. If only she would play and show him how good she was and .....she's home must go.

Rylan Clark

Big Brother Post

Big Brother is set for yet another male housemate and it's all over the papers this morning.

Here's his website addy for anyone interested www.myspace.com/rylanclark

Looks like he is set to liven up the house on Friday as Charley sh*t hot favourite set to leave it!

Pacing Myself

I'm still struggling and not coping because of pain as usual.

But some good news is my utrasound results are in but the receptionist was not allowed to tell me the results as my GP had not stamped which option to choose - 'See GP', 'All Clear', 'YOUR GOING TO DIE!' At least I know it's not the later because no one is in a hurry. "You're going to have to ring back tomorrow as doctor is out this afternoon deary" came the cheerful reply. This is MY LIFE your talking about and I'm not cheerful. I'm quite unhappy and near to depression actually...........

Or am I depressed?

I cover myself with this witty chatter and make believe that all is fine but when I'm down I'm very down.

My husband said something to me this morning and it hurt me. I'd told him at the weekend that I need more support and what he did basically threw that back me with venim. Actually I need more than support. I need a husband. So I'm sad.....more than sad but I put that smile on my face and everyone thinks I'm happy.

Escaped Bunny

I feel like sh*t!

Tallulah, the supersonic, bionic rabbit, climbed up the side of her run before her put the lid on and OFF she ran. Luckily my son was at home to grab her but I was expected to help but how? By the time we had caught 'Lulu' My legs had completely given way and my bladder was warning me "Get thee to a toilet quick or I am going to empty myself". Yes the joys of having a defective spinal cord are numerous and bloody ridiculous at times and embarressing too.

My son, grabbed my crutches and I got to the loo after we had sorted the other 'lu'. That rabbit is hard work and I am now in so much pain. My humour is the only thing keeping me going - No I lie, my son and his smile keeps me happy. My daughter is due to walk in any moment after a day at the stables and she will stink to high heaven. Why oh why did she decide at the age of six to love ponies? It wasn't my fault! I wasn't one of those mummies who had to take her pony riding so that I could talk about it at mummy and toddler groups. In fact I avoided them like the plague. I took the kids to those music groups where you'd look like a demented idiot pretending to play on your "Big base drum". I was particularly good at it I may add.

Warm day today. blue skies and it looks that way for the rest of the week. This is all good news for me and bad news for Biggle (my pain monster for those who have neglected to remember). Biggle who admittedly right now is raging normally loves dampness. He obviously loves it when I chase rabbits too.

Smelly daughter home. Must dash.

Good Morning Big Brother

***Spoof Big Brother entry and contains no info about how I am doing today whatsoever. You will have to read the next entry for that***

"I need to speak to Big Brother........

Let's get comfy, if anyone can in this chair.

It all kicked off with Charley last night BB, I don't know where to start but OMG she has a big gob, no manners and a brain the size of a pea.

How it started was this. Nicky right, made some food right and Charley and a couple of other girls didn't want to eat it at the time so they were told it was being kept for a while, donno how long? Could be a couple of hours? Right?. Later on Charley went to eat her food but found it was all gone! Bit like Goldilocks and the three bears and she was definitely the big grumpy one. She went a nutty at Nicky and Nicky said she'd cook her some more food and at first Charley said that was fine and told her stop making a big fuss about it! I know it's unbelievable isn't it?........But then Charley started talking about it to EVERYONE in earshot and those who were not coz her mouth is that big. When those like Carole said something she didn't like, she bit their heads off! OMG she was a right cow honestly you should have heard her.

Then right, something else happened and I donno who is responsible for this, It was either that slappa Shabnam or it was Charley (can't seem to view the video at the moment on my computer of the shot), but Chanelle who is really sweet and a bit thick if you ask me right, as her time of the month and we ave all agreed to put our dirty clothes together. We ave this rota right and it's all Pucka and everything. Anyway Chanelle as a pair of nicks which ave a bit of blood on them and they were covered up but suddenly they were apart from the other washing. Odd that hey? It's all on camera so BB you will know who did it and only Charley and Chanelle were there. Charley the cow took the pants and showed them to Ziggy the hunk! She's such a bitch! She even had the audacity (I can't spell that) to say it might be something else on the pants. Charley did that to embarrass Chanelle because she knows Chanelle fancies Ziggy right and I don't think that is a nice thing to do do you?

Anyway it's like a big playground init? I think there will be a fight behind the bikesheds later coz that Charley is a nightmare. Four days gone so far and we need something to change? Either the older woman need to sort out the younger ones or we need more sexy, stimulating men. No ugly buggers or over feminine gay men who are more bitchy than us women please. Mind you my hairdresser is gay and he would make a great housemate? Don't mind if you send him in as my roots could do with a touch up.

Thanks Big Brother, got that out of me system and feel better now"

Scary Big Brother so far innit?

3.37am

Wide awake.

Always like this when Trev is on nights. I'm wide a frigging awake!!!!!! Or am I?

It is sooooooo warm and if all I need to do is close my eyes......zzzzzzzz will come.

BB News
Nicky is 28 today (3 June) Happy Birthday then. You can tell my tiredness as I am so slow and keep making mistakes (What's new!)
What else on the BB front? Oh Charley and Nicky had a bust up over some food and I am distinctly going off Charley. She's a manipulative little cow. At the end of her argument with Nicky we then have 'knickergate'. Either Shabz or Charley (Shabz or Charley's puppy) pulled out a pair of soiled knickers which had blood on them and claimed they had been left lying around like that and it wasn't blood.

Crikey dozed off...............Stilllll tired .............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Big Brother day three

Zac 'Ziggy' Lichman has joined the house and what a nice on the eye addition he is. From my Sherlock Holmes-esque research I have found out that he has dated the likes of Abi Titmuss, Natalie Hamilton, (ex Atomic Kitton) and more recently Suzanne Shaw, ex Hearsay and Darren Day's former beloved (ha ha-not). He entered the house looking rather dashing in a dark suit, white shirt combo and his crisp public school accent wooed the girlies right into his hands. They have not seen his past which will no doubt be sprayed all over the papers over the next few days. He is an ex boyband member (Northern Line), they had one hit that I can remember back in 1999 and I don't think they were together for long, a couple of years if that. Zac now calls himself a music producer which we could all call ourselves? I could say I'm an internet producer.....or parenting director! I love those titles don't you? Oh dear Zac/Ziggy also calls himself a broker too - I Lurve that one. I'm also a broker......At least I'm going to have to be very clever with my money to pay for these school fees.

Back to BB. Charley was obviously making a B-line for Ziggy and her face gave away what she was thinking. I don't know what I think of her? I'm trying to think she's good underneath because she's so hard on top. No one can be that much of a cow really can they? I'm thinking she's actually a softy underneath that tough persona and she's covering up because she's scared/terrified of letting people in. Almost like there is a scared little girl inside and her defense is this tough nosed bitch on the outside.

There are other girls in the BB house I dislike and Emily is one of them. I just don't see the point in her? She has no purpose to the house (yet) and she's acting in my opinion......My last mention of the day today goes to Lesley who's sense of humour is fantastic. She's as dry as they come and has managed to convince some of the dumber housemates that she is 72, (she's 60), her husband fought in the war (which one she has not said) and she's in the house to try to find ways to deal with her shyness! Not a shy woman that is for sure.

Oh how I love BB and who dear 26 year old Ziggy is going to bed first I do not know? One thing is for certain, he is loved!

Kidneys, Drake and Josh

Seems that the Dutch have got their heads screwed on after all and the "Buy My Kidney Show" was all a fake and a way to generate more donors in the Netherlands.

No publicity is bad publicity so they say (who they are I do not know?) and this will no doubt raise this issue and the amount of donors worldwide.

All over the world people are talking about this.....Or at least the news reporters are!

Zac Lichman

Ziggy

Not the biggest or best picture and I've had to airbrush out a bimbo who was ruining gorgeous Zac's physique. This is Suzanne Shaw's other half apparently?

Yes from what I can tell he will be going into Big Brother tonight!

No doubt it is old news.........