Goodbye Jeremy Beadle

Jeremy Beadle

Born 12 April 1948
Died 30 Jan 2008
Aged 59

TV Presenter, writer and producer Jeremy Beadle, had died in hospital after a short battle with pneumonia. He was admitted to intensive care on 25 January and his body could not battle any longer after already beating cancer of the kidney in 2004 and leukaemia in 2005.

Whenever I see someone who dies too young it leaves me feeling incredibly sad and vulnerable. I feel nervous for my own future to be honest because Mr Beadle himself was born with a disability, Poland Syndrome and big credit to him because he was one of the first TV celebrities to have a disability. (Or should I say the first one employed and seen as not vulgar to the viewing public!!!!) Nowadays we see many more people with a variety of disabilities and that may be down to people like Jeremy?

Personally though I found his sense of humour a bit annoying and each to their own. My mum liked him after all. Game for A laugh was one of the biggest shows of the 80s and then there was Beadle's about which followed and showed the British public still loved those silly fake camera/people making fools of themselves. People still now watch You've been framed for goodness sakes and I include myself in that (Though I only like it for the funny comments made Harry Hill).

God Rest Jeremy Beadle. You are in good company.

I am in a rather uncomfortable inbetween period myself of emotional funeral/dying memory time, so emotions are a bit up sh*t creak. May be some weird blog entries - (no comment that there are normally weird entries!!!!!)

My Daughter (The Saga Of........)

I touched some wood on Monday honestly I did.

On Monday I was speaking with a friend about how good my daughter was being and I was saying what a good start to the term she was making. Her homework was much better and guess what? Yesterday they she came home with an 'AMBER WARNING CARD'. I cannot believe it!
The reason is because either she has failed to hand in homework EITHER/OR has failed to bring the correct equipment on three ocassions since the beginning of term.

I asked my daughter how she felt about this card and she said, "Disappointed". It is the first time she has ever shown any sort of remorse for her actions and normarlly would shrug her shoulders and be done with it. This one was different in fact she is a different girl right now and actually I feel a bit angry on her behalf but do not want her to know this. I can understand that she SHOULD be given the amber warning card (which means the teacher signs the card if homework is handed out and to confirm equipment is remembered.) IF she kept forgetting her homework which was the problem last term but solve one problem at a time! I have a feeling that the school may try and overload my daughter and I have a duty to protect her yet there is a part of me that thinks this is the right thing to do? So am I angry or confused?

My daughter came home feeling sick last night which could be because she was concerned about my and my husband's reaction and this morning she was very nervy. I didn't have time to talk to her properly though so I also have some guilt which us mothers always have to deal with. The one thing I did do last week was send an email to my daughter's form tutor, (or thought I had) which gave a lot of detail as to how homelife was for her. It stated about what a young carer was, how sometimes my daughter was emotional for me because she knew I was in pain and sometimes her behaviour causes or should I say does not help my pain!!! I did not say that she causes my pain because that is not true, my medical condition does that but stress makes things worse.

I just wish my daughter would settle down and realise that we all have her best interests at heart. I love her and her brother who is also experiencing problems at school, very much and my life seems to be running around saving them. My son is being picked on by a couple of little sh*ts who have nothing better to do. Spoilt little buggers if you ask me. One has already been reported twice and so much for the comment; "bullies do not remain at this school"; (my arse they don't!). I am not fighting my son's battles and want my son to deal with this himself but he is such a softy. He doesn't want to have to put up with this and all he wants to do is have a good time and get on with his work. Oh funny coincidence this but my son's new best schoolmate who lives in a gigantic house that we could fit ours into about five times is a lovely lad. That is not a coincidence but this is - My husband went to collect my son from his mate's house at 8.30pm last Friday and did not return home till 10pm. They were too busy chatting away and it turns out my son's new best buddy's dad went to the same rough old school as my husband. We knew we liked that family from talking to the mum on the phone but now we know why. They may have more money but they are just like us and our son has gained a good friend.

sketchup and not forgetting gorgeous Heath Ledger

My son has discovered the fascinations of Google sketchup and thinks its fantastic!

Only problem is that everything (at the moment) is accessed from my laptop and uses up my memory and so my dear little laptop is getting slower and slower.......What with all the itunes as well from my daughter's ipod! My daughter's computer is finally sorted but yesterday my husband could not get it connected to the internet and will not get IT support!!!! It's driving me mad because I need her to get that computer up and running and so does she. Yesterday evening, both my kids needed the internet to do important homework; one to do physics revision and one to do research on Romeo and Juliet and it is a bloody nightmare when you have a husband who behaves in a (was going to say moronic but even though he drove me crazy I think that's unfair), he is being unfair to the others in the family and not thinking about anyone. I don't think he's even thinking of himself?

Enough of my family, I wanted to talk about Heath Ledger. I could not believe what I read on teletext last night? He was such a wonderful actor but obviously a tormented soul. Drink, drugs and depression are a treble hit of pain which were going to never resolve without proper support and did he get that support? I do not have a clue as to what was going on in Heath's life other than what is written in tabloids and Heat magazine so who am I to say what his needs really were? The truth is though that this is yet another life wasted and I feel terribly sad about it. I feel sad for his family and his little girl and also how on earth must his ex girlfriend feel who only split with him last year? Bet there's guilt there which is not justified.
When a person takes their life, it is such a selfish act because they are not thinking of the people they leave behind only themselves. Depression is an illness and I accept that when I person thinks about taking their life they are not necessarily being themselves anymore. But I've been depressed and I've been at that point of thinking of ways of suicide.....I stopped myself because I knew that I would cause so much pain to those I loved. That was when I got help and I bet you that many attempts of suicide are not real attempts at all..........That's what I am wondering about Heath? Was it a mere cry for help?

Here's some pics of darling Heath as he was; gorgeous, dashing and seemingly full of life. Yet behind that facade was so much pain.
Tragic.
http://www.theage.com.au/photogallery/2008/01/23/1201024940487.html

Fainting and Earaches

My daughter has her first GCSE exam today so send her positive vibes please.

She was terrified this morning and in tears with earache in the opposite ear to the one which normally plagues her. A couple of ibuprofen, rescue remedy and omega oils later and she was feeling a bit better. I also gave her one of those mum hugs that only mums can give, cried myself because I couldn't stop myself and told her I don't care what grade she gets. She achieved a C at the weekend so if she does not get that today then so what, she's capable of it and can get that next time (if not higher). I've also emailed her school and asked her form tutor to call me as there are another couple of issues that I need to discuss with her. I have written half a letter to her to discuss what has been going on in my daughter's head.......The thing is that this is all so personal and difficult to write about.

So GP on Thursday and maybe it is psycho-somatic? Maybe it's ear wax!
I'll let you know Friday.

Maury, Jerry Springer An The Like......

My god! Why do people go on those shows?

Jerry Springer is the worst of the bunch and lets be honest they scrape the bottom of the barrel to get people on that show. You then fin Maury in America, Ricky Lake too and there's others I can't think of now. In the UK we have Trisha and Jeremy Kyle who play that game of "patronizing the guests". Oh my, why oh why do I watch these awful shows?

In between cooking the Sunday Roast and whinging about my pain, I'm watching Maury Povitch declare "I was 13 when I had my first baby and you're not the father!" Obviously he's not the 13 year old and one of the guests is that poor child who is now an adult.....Oh to explain would be confusing but you get my drift don't you? My life is easy in comparison.

So how is my life today? So-so. My son went off to his ballet class yesterday to find the class time had changed to an hour earlier and so a wasted journey was made. He went off and played squash instead. My daughter did the science test I made up for her (from a book I have brought on the correct syllabus). I've got all the answers too and so it made it quite easy for me but that said it took a long time to write up. I also put in diagrams, tables and drawings to make it look more interesting for her. The problem is she needs 80% and she's scoring 67%. It is science and the big test is on Tuesday and it counts towards her final exam at the end of the year. She MUST get 80%+. The pressure must be enormous and I can empathise with her about this and that's why I'm happy to help her. I've told her she must look up any wrong answers and write down the correct ones. It is Sunday, I know that but if she does not correct her answers she will never know them. 13% is so close to getting mark she needs! Shame my daughter chose to do the Foundation paper though because had she chosen to do the higher paper she could of had a lesser pass mark and of achieved the grade she needed!

Better go and check that chicken..........

Feeling A Bit Happier Today

My emotions ran away with me on my last entry and actually I'm glad they did. Sometimes you need to allow your feelings out don't you?

Today I'm going to be honest again and talk about my daughter (sorry if I bore you dear reader) but I've worked out something; she's feeling abandoned by my parents. She's also, I believe and have done for quite some time, thinking my husband may abandon her at any time too. He's 52 (and a half) and my parents were 56 and 57 respectively when they past away, why shouldn't her daddy die early? At least that's how her brain is working! I've felt for a long time that she has not grieved for my parents and try to get her to talk about them and last night she opened up and when I used the word "abandon" it brought tears to her eyes. That has NEVER happened. She asked why when her grandparents died her reaction was to laugh when most people cried? My poor little girl was 6 1/2 when her gramps died and 11 when her grandmother died. I told her that children do not have a guidebook and no reaction is wrong.

One thing I must do tonight is I must tell her it is never too late to grieve. She needs to let go of those painful emotions because if she does then maybe she might feel less 'pained'. I know being 14 is hard enough but to have a burden like that on her shoulders is too troublesome to cope with.

I've also been thinking about my reactions to her actions. I've been close to hitting her and my hand went to her right cheek the other day as if I was going to slap her and I was all set to really whallop her. I feel very ashamed that as a parent I felt that bad I could not control my anger yet I'm trying to teach my daughter to control hers! I told my girl that I was at that point of 'los of self control' and told her she needs to pack in her behaviour. I've had enough of it but she's struggling with emotions, school and everything. I love my daughter but I want her to stop bullying her dad........so fingers crossed I can get through to her, listen to her and we can re-build our relationship.

I Might As Well Leave

I can't stand it..............

I have a daughter who is turning into one of those teenage horrors and my husband is at the center of her anger but he seems to think it's my fault? Funny that isn't it! I'm fed up with both of them and I wish they would both grow up!!!!!!!!

My daughter did something, he over-reacted and she kicked off further and that's my fault too obviously.

If it wasn't for my son who has just come into this room where I sit on my own (my daughter is in her room, my husband is in the kitchen eating his dinner and I should be eating mine but I've lost my appetite), I would be packing my bags right now.

I've cooked their dinners even though I've had the worst flare ups over the past few weeks and none of them give a damn. Maybe I should just let them get on with it?

I'm sorry this post is a bit of a ramble but I'm upset......I feel so let down. My husband tells my daughter to apologise to ME yet he should be doing this to me too? My daughter didn't need to apologise to me at that time I am perfectly capable of telling her to apologise anyway yet he moans at me and tells me I should not interfere when I step in when I "protect him" yet he is allowed to "protect me"! What on earth is going on here? Are we not husband and wife who are supposed to be looking after each other? obviously not.

I don't know if I want any of this and I don't care for this shit. My daughter is growing more and more nasty by the minute................Don't like it.

A Little Prayer

We've just been out for a meal with the kids and nearly never made it as just before we turned off we spotted a huge queue of traffic on the road we would have stayed on. On the way home the queue was miles long and we were the only car on our side of the road for a while as a section had been completely closed off.

Being nosey, hubby and I wanted to know what had happened and knew it was going to be a serious car crash and yes that's exactly what has happened. It has only been a few years since eight people died on that very same stretch of road........So a prayer from me tonight is important.
I dread to think how badly injured those people are but hope that modern technology and modern cars have saved lives.

Emails

Been sorting out my email today.

I have so many emails coming in each day that I lose track of those from my friends and so have had to reorganise myself again. I've had to do this so many times in the past because of Internet problems! Here I go again and it is soooooo boring to have to do but I love my buddies.

Apart from email excitement, I've been doing some jolly fabulous things (yeah I am joking) around the house. The pain monster has made an appearance again leading me to request some extra anti-epileptic meds (which are great for nerve pain), from my GP. Right now I'm wriggling about like the proverbial worm and in need of more than those anti-epileptic meds I can tell you! My stupidity has caused the pain monster his way of gaining an entrance; I did some housework! Yes if there was ever an excuse for not doing housework it is that monster and it is genuinely true (honest gov'ner). I shall finish this little entrance and then make a little exit..........As I am already falling asleep as I type it and I'm not that boring? .....Or am I?

Big Brother's Celeb Hijack starts 2moz. Wonder what, sorry I mean who will be appearing on the show? Probably those in need of a boost to their career. (NO!) Anyone who knows me or reads my blog knows I'm a HUGE Big Brother fan but not for the celeb side of it; its more for the people psycho-babble. It is so funny to watch those ego match or not match and then see who flips first. Even those who act badly eventually end up on top and I imagine Jade Goody will be back with a book on elocution soon. Only Jo thingy and H from whats-its-name have been forgotten and quite right too.

Off I go. I've bored myself now.

First Day of 2008

Following on from yesterday's obituaries which I know are rather sad but on the other hand lets look at this the other way, we are only here on borrowed time......... Maybe that's not the right thing to say after all?

SO moving on from morbidity, today's list is names of those who yes have sadly have passed but who have left inspiration for everyone around them. (See yesterday's names also because obviously there are some names there too that are truly inspirational too)

Alex Hall, Real life Billy Elliott. 16 year old talented dancer Alex was diagnosed with cancer last Christmas. He didn't want to tell his parents so not to spoil their Christmas but sadly his bone cancer spread and he a week before Christmas 2007.
Phil O'Donnell, 35 year old Motherwell captain and soccer player to my American friends, who was happily playing the game he loved on Saturday only to have a massive heart attack half way through the match. Nothing could save him.
Oscar Peterson, the great 72 year old jazz pianist. His loss is great to the music world.
Hryhoriy Nestor, at 116 this Ukrainian who passed this year proves that borrowed time is longer than some than for others.
My neighbour, aged 65. He was left with a permanent mental impairment after a workplace accident some years ago. His mother and then when she died, his elderly aunt, became his lifelong companion. He led an amazing life.
Edna Steeles, who died aged 102. A true charactor! There are not many of those around nowadays are there and now another has gone.
Kenneth Wells, Grimsby Market trader Kenneth who raised money for charity and "Who you could always trust to give you an honest opinion" died last year. He was a kind and caring man.
Mary O'Mahoney, a ward counsellor and 'good samaritan' also lost her battle with cancer this year. She had thought that battle for over 30 years.
Mary Cunliffe, 81 year old campaigner and Torbay's Mother Theresa who was going to be nominated for an OBE next year for her inspirational work which had inproved so many lives.
Peter Orton, who was the TV executive who brought us Bob the Builder! Yes it takes all sorts to make this list.
Jack Sadler and ALL the soldiers killed in action last year. Trooper Sadler was in the TAs and was only 21 when he was killed in Iraq. Most of our soldiers may be home from Basra but alas they are being sent to Afganistan.........
Evel Knievel, who finally lost his battle againt everything. He stopped jumping cars, tigar, Grand Canyons etc some years ago but this left his body in pieces. Does this make him a legend? Yes to me he was back then. To my son he is a very foolish man.
Verity Lambert, 71 Dr Who's first female producer. She was the producer who decided to include the Dalek characters all those years ago. What would have happened if she did not do that?
Mike Gregory, 43. GB rugby captain who lost his battle from a form of motor neurone disease.
Vanessa Kyte who was also 43 when she passed away from cancer. She was less well known than Jane Tomlinson who also lost her battle with cancer this year but Vanessa fought for seven years as Jane did and raised thousands of pounds for charity too. Melanie Waite also lost her life to breast cancer after handing in a 35,000 name petition to get Herceptin given to all patients who need it. Fundraiser Liz Aldridge, set up 'Relay for Life' in 2006 which has now netted thousands of pounds. She died of liver cancer which had spread from her breast in October
John Averis, Ian Reid, Ashley Stephens, Darren Yates-Badley - The four firefighters killed tackling a huge warehouse fire.
Sri Chimnoy, Guru who taught religious tolerance and the spiritual value of physical activity. Sounds good to me.
Anita Roddick, Body Shop Founder. Good old Anita founded her first shop in Brighton all those years ago and started something fantastic. May she rest in peace.
Tony Wilson, who was the music producer who's name I admit I could not place but who's face I recalled immediately. Think back some years to when Manchester bands dominated the music scene and 'Mr Manchester' as he was known had a huge influence.
Mohammed Zahir Shah, who died in July, aged 92 was a former King of Afghanistan who ruled over his country for forty years during one of its more peaceful periods.
Jim Cronin, 55 year old Jim died in March this year. He was the passionate conservationist who created ‘Monkey World’ in Dorset a place we as a family have visited many a time. We've seen him around the place a couple of times only maybe because he was so busy around other sides of the globe. He will be yet another sadly missed.
All RAF who have lost their lives last year.

Here endeth my list. I'm tired and hurt and need my bed but after going through some of those names feel great to be alive.
Off to give those I love a kiss.

Goodbye 2007

Less than three hours left of this year.

It is time to say goodbye to all that has gone and time to look forward to the new year. My son says he is looking forward to being a teenager and being able to swear at people! LIKE HELL HE IS!!!!! Right now both of the little devils are annoying me so I've told them to be a bit quieter because I'm tired to be honest.

So it is goodbye to what?.....to who?
Madeleine McCann, kidnapped aged 3
Rhys Jones aged 11, murder victim
Kevin Greening, Radio DJ, died Saturday aged 44
Benazir Bhutto, assassinated aged 54
Ike Turner, the man who beat but never defeated Tina Turner, died , aged 76
Les Shannon, Footie manager aged 81
Anton Rogers, actor who I last saw in Chitty Chitty on the West End a couple of years ago. Died aged 74
Tony Holland, 67, co wrote Eastenders
Ian Smith, Rhodesian Prime Minister, aged 88
Alderbrook, aged 18 - a racehorse who gets a mention for no other reason other than I feel like mentioning it.
Bao Zunxin, 70, Chinese intellectual and jailed Tiananmem Square activist who deserves more of a mention than a racehorse!
Alan Coren, writer aged 69
Werner Von Trapp, aged 91. The iconic inspiration and leader of the Trapp family singers
Glut of 112 year olds who died this year (too many to mention)
Princess Katherine of Greece and Denmark (the last surviving grandchild of Queen Victoria)
Lois Maxwell, 80 year old original Miss Moneypenny
Marcel Marceau aged 84 the infamous French mime artist
Maia Simon 67, French film and TV actress who headed to Switzerland where there is a clinic specializing in assisting deaths. Sounds like a good idea if you can do it to me.
Colin McCrae, British racing driver who was only 39 when he and his 6 year old son were killed in a helicopter crash
Clare Oliver, Australian activist who had to become famous after discovering she had cancer and then only having weeks to live. Three weeks later she was dead. Terribly sad
Jane Wyman, 90, Actress
Luciano Pavarotti opera singer aged 71
Shitsu Nakano aged 113 from Japan, the Worlds oldest person!

That's half the list from today
I shall complete my personal goodbye list tomorrow as I'm bored now and it's 10.30pm and I need to be with my kids.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

I Feel Sick

Christmas Day went with a whimper. After removing that second present and teen daughter seeing it sitting here for the last 24 hours, she has been an absolute angel. Funny that isn't it?

"When can I open my present?" She enquires.
"When we decide". We reply. "Maybe today, maybe tomorrow". Now normally there would be a tantrum following this but surprise surprise, politeness follows. That's just how we like it. I understand being a teenager is difficult. You have hormones to contend with plus my daughter has my raging pain monster which scares her as much as it does me. But this does not give her the right to treat me like dirt. I felt horrible because I ......can't remember if I wrote this yesterday? I told my daughter that if she continues to behave in this vindictive way, telling us she hates us all the time and making family life unbearable, that when she finishes school at 16 she can find a job and move out. After all if she hates us then what is the point in being around us? She's only here to get her bed and board it appears and she uses her dad to get her from A to B. He gets most of her anger and he also angers me as he will not listen to me when I try and help him build his relationship with our daughter. If only he would meet her in the middle - Be the adult, then the arguments would lessen and we would have a 'normal angry teen' instead of an 'mega pent up angry teen'.
Going back to what I said - Why did I say that? I feel so upset with myself but it's true! I don't want to be around all of this anger and I had an argument on Christmas Eve with my husband because of our daughter and his stubburn refusal to meet in the middle. He's learning to take back control of authority which is great and I 100% support him but you cannot be a control freak which is what he is becoming. This I will not support.

Today I am tired. My gallbladder is hurting too and I feel sick. It hasn't played up for a while now so why is it chosing boxing day to make an appearance? I've made the traditional Boxing Day German Potato Salad (tradition in our house), pasta salad is on the go and roast ham is in the oven. No wonder I don't feel great. Do not ask me how my back feels......I can't feel it.

Roll on 2008.

Joy To The World And To Teenagers - GROW UP!

And let's hope joy soon hits my 14 year olds face or I will be moving out and taking her hard found presents with me - Oooh the little minx. (There other words I'd like to use but it is Christmas Day and I'm full of the spirit of Christmas good will and have had a good 'go' at her and good cry all ready. Why oh why do teenagers have to have such mouthy gobs on them? Just look at the photo here of teenagers? Mine looks very similar.

Happy Christmas and my sympathies go out to those who have to live with teenagers and now feel bloody hacked off and wish they never bothered putting in all of that effort into finding all of those difficult to find pressies! Yesterday my bolshy, rude and plain nasty little madam became so horrible that hubby and I took one of her presents and told her we were giving it to charity - That present IS STILL going to charity so I hope they like High School Musical (I'm quite pleased to offload it really).

We have another present this morning which is again sitting here next to me and it's not going to be opened by that child until I see some resemblence of good behaviour!

It makes me so angry, upset, confused, worried, because I don't know what to do? I don't know why she kicks off for no reason? I suppose that's a teen thing? She tells me she hates her dad for past reasons and will not forgive but my view is that forgiveness is the only way forward. I love her dearly and want to 'fix' the problem but I can't. She's a TEENAGER isn't she and she needs to grow up however until she does grow up I have to put up with those tantrums with her treating me like something she walked in. Mind you her dad gets it worse than I do!

Enough of moody teens, she actually brought me a present which she hinted at for weeks so I knew what it was - SOCKS; nice thick semi warm ones for my horrible thick freezing feet. My son brought me Leona Lewis on CD which I totally did not suspect. I thought he'd get the single not the long play as it costs £10. He's not hit those teen years yet.......One year to go........

Must go my duck awaits. (Cooked real one looks much better!)

The Other Website

I have had a couple of queries as to when I am going to get back to my Surviving Chronic Pain Website and just to let you know I making one of those New Years Resolutions to get back into it and get on with it.

I could give a great excuse and say the pain monster has been a complete b*****d and getting to the laptop has been the last thing I have wanted to do.

Fingers crossed I will get back here before Christmas but if not.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Saturday Christmas Get-together

Oh how I love our pre-Christmas Saturday family get-together.
I'm sure I talked about this last year and said how I couldn't get up to see the family the year before last; but again I'll talk about it as it was a great afternoon and something happened that brought back such a wonderful memory. So excuse the long entry.

My uncle had been going through some old photos and found one which he thought I would like to see.......It was about 20 years old and so funny. It was of a rather handsome man in his late 30s pulling a rather ugly face. Yet still his handsome,kindness, graciousness, wonderfulness, shone through. That man was my dad.

I hadn't realised how much I missed him till I saw that photo and the tears started to flow. It's been a few days over eight years since he passed and even as I write this I feel the sadness of not having him here. What was so very odd was on the day of our classic family get-together we also watch the final of Strictly Come Dancing and there's Gethin (excuse if I've spelt it wrong), and another aunt saying that he has 'the look' of my dad! Now that really was the strangest thing as I fancy the pants off Gethin. I've always thought that my dad was a gorgeous man and my mum made a wonderful choice when she picked him. Now I don't fancy my dad in that sense so don't get me wrong but just saying how handsome he was.
I told a friend this morning about the photo and she told me how I talked about my mum but hardly ever about my dad. She's right. I don't know why because I adored him. Maybe the pain is too much to think about? Losing him days before Christmas is bad enough and I have had to put myself on autopilot for many years to help me cope with the stress of those days. I thought I was OK? I thought that pain had gone......It has not. I've told my uncle that I would let him have my addy for this blog and I know he is likely to read this and if he does I want to say THANKS.
I LOVE THAT PHOTO!!!!!! I do not have many pictures of my dad and I'm so happy (even through my tears) that I have this one which I'm honoured to have.

So my last words for this blog entry our in honour of my father.
The best dad in the world, the best grampy in the world, the best friend to those who knew him, the best employee to those who employed him and the most wonderful man that ever lived and died.

Last Chrsitmas I Gave You My Heart

But The Very Next Day, You Gave It Away..........

Ah! Wham had a great number two Christmas hit with that little ditty there didn't they? Are you full of the joys of Christmas yet? I'm getting there but my pain levels have been so high and I've been unable to get on top of anything/card sending/email writing etc. It's driving me bananas....with frustration but also because my pain is so bad I'm inconsolable every evening. My kids have tried to cheer me up however I'd rather they left me alone to suffer in silence. My son came to my room last night and watched TV with me and all I wanted to do was cry; not because I didn't want him there I may add, but it's every evening not just occassional now. I just can't stand it. I'm not getting to sleep till gone midnight and right now I know I need to go and lie down because I'm being stupid sitting here. None of this is very festive is it?

I have my family get-to-gether on Saturday. We shall see if I am up to it? If not then the kids can go up with their dad. My big plan is lots of medication!!!!!!!!!!!

Straight A Students

What a lovely Christmas Surprise!
My children have BOTH brought home good school reports this term. My son's is (I shouldn't say this) but expected as he always puts in a lot of effort to produce great results and he's in a new private school which means he's no longer at the top of the pile any more. He's having to work to get up to that top spot and it may take him till he leave in July 2009 till he reaches that aim in some areas! Other areas like PE/games he has already achieved a great deal and already annoyed his head of PE by leaving the footie team as my lad doesn't really enjoy the sport as much as his beloved rugby. Next term is rugby season and practice has already started and so my lad is in his element. He pulled muscles this week and was 'miffed' with the coach because of the lack of stretching beforehand - I'm sure those in the know understand what I'm talking about?! My son still produced a '2B' which I'm sure would have been a '1A had he stuck with the football squad! (Numbers for effort and 1 being excellent to 5 being dire, letters for achievement, A being well above average, C average, E having series weaknesses).
My son's weakest subject is French but yet he still received a D1 (officially D2 but verbally upgraded when spoke to teacher and she realised how much hard work my son is putting in at home to catch up with his peers who are way ahead of him. Best subject was saxophone lessons - A1! There were other 'As' and other '1s', a couple of Cs and a mixture of of 'B2s' All in all a super effort.

Now for my daughter who did not gain so many grade As (In fact she gained just the one but it was for ICT and she has NEVER EVER gained an A in ICT and so it is all the more special. Her grades were mostly Cs, a few Bs and then Ds, with an E thrown in for a section in Art. Everything was broken down into "Realisation on theory" or "Homework" or "Technical appreciation of the Dingily Dangle Dongle" - Get my drift? All seemed a bit silly and I would have preferred a straight forward grade for effort, homework and achievement.
What was striking was that my darling daughter is doing her homework! Yes at long last things are moving forward. There is inconsistancies however she is flowing in the right direction. It is not an Amazon but a little trickling stream which sometimes has a backflow and gets it wrongs but hay ho I don't care. She's getting there now and paying that money for her education is worth it.

OK I've written along entry and I have a splitting headache which is driving me up the wall. I feel sick too and don't quite know what to do with myself!!!!!!!!! My daughter has just annoyed me and I've shouted at her which has made me feel worse - So much for feeling great about her. I still feel good about her acheivements. It has been a major step for her to change schools; 14 is such a hard age but I don't think she realises that 37 is too.

Nicked Bike

GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr

Yesterday was one of those days. My son went off to his ballet class and was late back......Hubby then noticed his bike lock on the floor and I knew what my son was going to say when he walked through the door.
Yes, some thieving b*****d had stolen his beloved bicycle!

I cannot say what my emotions were yesterday - actually I can; anger, hurt, fear (of intrusion and that maybe someone was watching my 11 year old), upset and I had a cry and shout about the whole affair. What annoyed both hubby and I was my son's reaction to what happened. He told us that he had put the bike behind some bins and hoped and thought it would be safe - Not in the city and just before Christmas! Some druggie or some little sod has run off with it and even typing this makes me angry. We've had a child nearly steal it from our front garden before and I can't believe that a CHILD would try and steal from another child but it happens. There are no morals in some households and that's the truth of it all isn't it? When my son couldn't find the bike he was angry, cried and felt those emotions we felt but since then he has hardly shown any remorse for his stupid mistake. Yes he can walk to and from school but it is a long way and I'll be honest I'm going to struggle with him making that journey in the darkness. I'm a mum and isn't that natural?

The only choice was to find him a new/second hand bike as soon as possible and so hubby decided to take him to local shop where they inflate the prices (and I've already seen that compared to the net this is true), and he has brought my son a brand spanking new bike, a new chain, new lights and I hope an attitude to never forget his lock.
£191 later.........

My talented twosome

Sorry for the blogness.....The lack of entries are due to flu, pain and wireless connection; (seeing as the ethernet won't seem to work now the wireless is connected even though it's not because the wireless is connected via a network????)

I don't understand this wireless stuff? It doesn't make any sense but what the heck, I shall keep going. In the meantime I shall tell you all about my dear babies or rather the nearly teen and the monsterous teen. Firstly the teenage daughter who is trying hard to turn herself around since parents evening just over two weeks ago. We have found her a new clarinet teacher and he informed me that my clever little girl has self taught herself brilliantly since the Easter term and is now playing above grade five standard! This has boosted her confidence no end and she's now talking about taking grade five and gaining a distinction which is something she would not have done before.

Now child number two. I've just got off the phone .....well actually it was about half an hour ago because my back is a rotter and I couldn't get to the laptop sooner but anyway, the Head of my son's dance school phoned up and asked if he had told us about the open audition on Friday for a full time place at the school? It's for a 50% scholarship and my lad who she watched on Friday and who has glowing reports, has amazing potential.
My son has not said a word and so either he's not interested or he thinks he's not capable or he thinks we will say no. The truth is we have said no because he has only just started at a new school and loves it. We are more than happy for him to consider the possiblity of ballet school in two years time however I would not consider the one he is being offered an autition at......It is not the right one for him and I'm not being funny here. Academically it is not a very good school and my son is as bright as they come; he would hate a school which didn't stretch him. So yes a dilema but what a delightful one to have!

My daughter has been driving us mad with her behaviour and has been a complete cow at comes but then you get those moments when she is fantastic. I love her no matter what even when she is arguing with me and telling me to "Shuddup". My son is still my baby and I suppose he always will be, he's now genuinely also turning into a real Billy Elliot too.

Confidence Is All That Was Needed

My daughter......My clever, clever daughter......has made the school swimming team!

So the PE teacher thought she was going to fail PE did she? (This is what she told my daughter but something I was unaware of when I spoke with her last week).

My daughter is swimming in an away gala against another school today and is nervous but happy. She didn't want to be in the squad if the truth be known; "Who wants to be one of the popular gang, not me" she quoted......But I wonder if she really does? We all want to be popular at 14 don't we? It is a hard life being a teenager.

As for me? I have a cold on the way. Acupuncture this morning has hopefully helped to stop it coming out fully or stopped it from being too horrendous., we shall have to wait and see on that score. The pain monster? He's here and sitting on me. I've taken some - no lots of drugs to stuper him and yet the bugger is still beating me. He is a strong devil!!!!!