GRRRRRRRRRRR!

MY DAUGHTER IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!

"I'm going into town after school" she texted. "No you're not" I texted back! My daughter is supposed to stay for homework and then gets the n gets the minibus home afterwards. This suits us and her teachers fine because we have enough problems getting her to complete her homework and the hurdles she wishes to put in the way do not help. She then walked in late and she had agreed to go with her brother trick or treating so basically let him down. Oh I could have spat!!! (Of course I didn't) but she's making me so mad and then it's the attitude when she does get in! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I've allowed her to go out however she has ONE HOUR. Yes that did cause problems and she has had a tantrum but I'm not having her call the shots. How dare she! I'm the parent not her and she has come home in one funny mood which I will put a stop too. I did not want to let her brother down though and that was the only reason I allowed her to go out at all, I'm now working out (or is it hatching a plan?) Yes I think that's the correct terminology? Teens nowadays are so rude and do not realise that they are talking to adults, kids or the pavement! I don't think my daughter was happy when I told her she was paying for the hour it took our cleaning lady to do her clothes today.....Actually it took an hour and a half and she will be paying for every penny.

The worst part about this is I adore my daughter. I would give anything.....my life for my daughter but she treats me like scum. She's a 14 year old who is going to be grounded for a very long time for her behaviour and language today.

Happy Birthday Mum

Today is my mum's birthday. I wish I could put a photo of her here but I cannot not get my bluetooth between my phone and my computer to work.......

The kids think of today as just Halloween but for me it is much more. Another year has gone past without my mother in my life but I do not feel as sad as I have done in the past. I still bought my mum a card and I would have loved to have gone up to the grave however my pain levels (oh here we go again!) mean it is impossible to drive that far.

Tomorrow is another day of worry......I'm going to speak with the HT at the school where I am currently a governor. What do I do when I really do not know what I want to do? I cannot talk about why I feel so upset with the governing side of things, that's too complex and too confidential.......Just really do not know what to do and right now I need to move about as I can't sit still with this leg hurting!!!!

Back At School

I love my kids but I can honestly say I am grateful they have gone back to the extablishments we are paying to send them to. My son scored 19/20 in a French test on day one so he's a happy bunny, my daughter's school pool is now open after six weeks of repairs and so she has a slight smile on her face too (which is remarkable for a teenager) and my rabbits are enjoying being left alone to roam around the garden so they are also happy bunnies too. (Oh yes the punn is intended.)

Talking of my mad rabbits they have been quite taken with their new friends. You can see "Russell's" legs in the photo above, I don't have a photo of Florence, Jim rabbit's teddy, but if I did it would have Jim humping her! We are expecting ted-bits any day now and my poor son was quite traumatised when first saw Jimmy's .....how shall we say 'anatomy!' So traumatised he has told everyone about it non stop ever since. Lol.

I must get this out of the gutter.

Buying a new TV as ours is on its way out. The picture is flickering and the colour is coming and going and to repair it is not cost effective. We have looked at the cost of TVs and found one we like and found a good place to buy that particular one from. Can't believe we will be paying £300 less for a better TV!!!

Congratulations!

The beginning of this entry goes out to a very dear friend of mine who I did not get a moment to call last week who has become a grandmother for the second time last week. Welcome to the world little girl. I'm not giving details as too much info on the net is never a good thing is it? I have learnt not to divulge names nowadays because of nutcases who seem to think it is OK to make your life hell and the Internet is a great way to gain knowledge about you and your loved ones. Enough of that, congrats dear friend, love to you and your loved ones!

Life in the wiglet household has been rather difficult over the past few days and I'd rather not be living here. Yesterday was yet another confrontation with Mr Wiglet and it was a case of me telling him he MUST go back to counselling. The problem is he stopped at the point when he had opened the box full of all of his woes and now that box is open he cannot close it again yet he still does not know how to control his feelings about it? He is struggling emotionally, physically and in every which way you could imagine and I love him more than words can say but he is repeating a pattern of which his father set for him. He is causing so much pain in our family.......so much pain that he must have inside of him! I've been there so I know how he must be feeling and want him to feel better. He HAS to go back to counselling, whether it be with the same person he saw before or whether it be with someone new? I don't care as long as he deals with those demons which are destroying him.......He knows if he does not do this NOW our marriage is over. I don't know what marriage is half the time and is our marriage normal? If a marriage is when a couple love each other but at times hate each other then that is us. If a marriage is when we both want similar things but one of us has lost the emotional drive and one has lost the physical drive then that is us. It's an odd marriage and I just do not understand us? We have spoken to TWO counsellors together. One is our daughter's counsellor and one my old one some years ago and both say we are a perfect match but have issues to get through. My problem is I cannot sit back and watch my husband repeat that pattern again because it is destroying his relationship with his children; this in turn could cause this pattern to repeat again with the children with their own children.....I cannot let that happen. I don't know how many times I've cried about that. That's what makes me so angry and so upset in equal measure.

My head has been hurting for the past two weeks and it is hardly surprising is it? There is a virus floating about........Mind you my head always seems to get worse when the family is around!

Kids back at school on Monday. My son has been a breeze in general so fingers crossed it will stay that way. My daughter has been told to keep her room tidy or I told her I would make her wash all of her clothes again - EVERY SINGLE ITEM IN HER WARDROBES AND DRAWERS. She did not keep to the rules and so today I said; "Get your washing on".

Her mouth dropped.

I let her know if she cleared up she could stop washing and ironing so after THREE lots of washing she has successfully completed her job.

Me thinks she has got the message. (AHA!!!!!!!)

Head is a-hurting.

Stealing

How do you deal with a 14 year old who has stolen from you?

With difficulty that's how.........

It has been a hard couple of weeks in the Wiglet household and I've not had much time on the net. I've got to try and get hold of some old friends who seem to have had troubles with my new email addy too today as well as I do NOT want to lose them....That would be worse than anything I could bare to think about! Also must phone a friend 'up north' at some point this week as I keep forgetting about that too. She's had an appointment with her pain person and I'd love to catch up on how that went and general chitchat that goes with it. I love our natters.

But back to the 14 stealing......I've had this doubt for a couple of weeks but you know when you cannot quite believe it to be true? How could your own daughter be stealing from you? At first she admitted to it being 45pence here and there but finally she has admitted it's been in total £25 with £15 in one day from her father's wallet. How he didn't notice that is beyond me. He's taking it all personally instead of seeing that actually he has a part to play here. I don't mean to blame him as my daughter has to take responsibility for her actions but so does my husband.
You see, we made an agreement that my husband pays out pocket money every Sunday and he keeps 'forgetting'. If he forgets then it is letting the children down and hardly fair to them. Four weeks ago our daughter was banned from gettting her pocket money and THAT was the week she stole the £15, but she had been taking the smaller items of money over a period of over days before that because my husband had not been paying out. It's OK for me to say "Don't worry I've noted down every single penny you should be getting paid", however, the kids are not getting ANYTHING! This is totally unjust and it is driving me insane. My issue of course is I am disabled and find it so hard to get about and so leave it to the husband to be responsible to something ie the pocket money. He is their father after all!

I also have to ask my husband to leave me money so it is not just the kids who rely on him and if the children are going out I will ensure they are never short of a few quid and so I feel very let down today with my daughter and hurt by her actions.

So what did we do? I asked her why she needed the money? It was for topping up her phone (which is NEVER an issue and I will always give her money so I think it is more than that and will talk to her when hubby is not around)We told her she has to pay us back a pound a week. We felt asking her to pay us back all in one go is asking for trouble because she may see temptation in the way if she has no money and steal again. pound a week is good enough. We told her we need to be able to trust her and now that is difficult because she has broken that trust. I told her she must talk to me if she needs money for whatever reason......And have just caught her alone after hubby has gone off on his own and yes the money was for topping up phone, going to the pier with friends after school and generally cheering herself up with chocolate. This worries me enormously.....my daughter is comfort eating constantly, underweight (though not massively but enough for us to worry) and hiding chocolate wrappers in her bedroom. She is NOT binge eating nor vommiting food she eats for her dinners but she is using foods we all know give us a natural high. We have spoken to a counsellor and we have tried to get our daughter to speak to a counsellor but she's not ready to do this and so until then we are speaking to the counsellor and getting support from her; this has been hugely helpful. Oh there's another reason why my daughter steals from her dad and not me, its because she doesn't like him much.

My husband has been very ............Oh I can't think of the word? He's been such hard work again and we've argued again today before any of this started. It is not a good day and he has taken our daughter's actions personally which is silly? He needs to speak to someone on his own.....I wish he would do this now as I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this marriage like this. I feel like I am existing and I'm very very unhappy.

I'd love to be romanced. Candles on the table, dinner cooked.....salmon would be nice with a sauce of some description, then a pud to follow. A couple of glasses of wine to wash it all down with and Bob's your uncle.
Alas that never happens with my man. Either I cook with my pain levels or it DOES NOT HAPPEN...................Think I need to stop crying and now I have another reason possibly why my daughter stole from her dad? Maybe she is getting revenge for me? I don't think she understands that though, I do.

Tally Ho!

Well jolly hockey sticks and lashings of rugger were the order of the day yesterday when we went to visit the favoured senior school my son wishes to go too.

We certainly felt comfortable with this enormous palace like building. We were shown around by a third former who I shall praise in a letter of thanks as he deserves a few mars bars from his house master, (a treat normally given for good Latin scores apparently). Our guide was a member of an exclusively day house however day boys can be members of boarding house which is what my son would like to do. Once he had viewed the differences between the day houses and boarding he had made his mind up.

We have found out that my son will be able to board overnight free of charge if he has a commitment which means he has to remain at the school till 9pm. This is for a House dinner for instance which they have regularly. My son is so excited about this as he fancies boarding now and then, once or twice but not all of the time. He'll be 13 and a half by then and much more mature too........ More of a teen!

I don't think it is the right school for my daughter and neither does she. She'd like to go to a co-ed school for sixthform and I'd agree with that so let's see what happens. I just hope she works over the next two years or goodness knows what will happen to her? I do worry.....She is a wonderful girl with a scatty but creative mind. She'll get there.

Bloody pain monster is crucifying me today. Obviously all of that walking yesterday just was too much. Pain meds and staying in bed all day have helped. Wireless broadband is a marvelous thing and it is not even mine; (that's a worry!!!!)

Strange World

Funny phonecalls, strange what happens in life? I don't want to talk about this too much but suffice to say I have something odd going on in my life again.

My whole life seems to be full of strange oddities and sometimes I do not know if I am coming or a going? I didn't sleep last night. No, I lie, I slept for about an hour in total so I feel very tired now. I have just had my morning cuddle with my rabbits which makes the world feel much more a better place and all is right with the world.......except it is not.

I have my appointment with the bowel surgeon today and I will see what he has got to say? If he is anything like the last one then I'm in trouble! Being told the only option is to have my bowel removed is pretty dire. I'll let you know tomorrow what this one says.

Ooh I Don't Arf Feel Rough

After not such a bad night I woke up feeling absolutely awful. I tried taking a little less MST (morphine sulphate) for my pain control for a couple of days and I have to admit it's not working. I'm online to help my lad out (printing off some homework photos while he is at a rugby tournament), while all I want to do is crash out.

I'm cooking food with the help of my daughter but she's not helping very much. My neighbour is banging and crashing, sawing and drilling!!!!! ARRGGHH it is a nighmare and I have such a headache.

So that is my entry today.

Feel cr*p.

I Love You Baby

My son is a cracking little sportsman but it seems there is a little sh*t at his school who is in the year above and a prefect and thinks it is OK to bully my son. Not only has he picked on him every Friday during chore time after lunch but he is now trying to demean him in front of the other members of the football squad. My son is being placed in defence (the only player in defence) and then being told he is cr*p because being only 136cms tall he cannot stop the other players getting past him.

What are we suggesting?

It's a difficult one because my darling lad is 11, nearly 12 and needs to learn how to handle difficult behaviour. He will no doubt meet sh*ts throughout his life and so we as parents have to help him solve this dilema. My husband has told him to learn from this. To watch and see how the other boys play and he will become a better player. My son may not like defence but what if he is forced into a defensive position in a game? His experience will count then will it not? My son's school team is not a great team and they have only won when he plays! I would suspect my husband's word are right and my lad will probably end up on his own in defense judging by their past performance. That bully may have helped my son out.....If only that bullyboy was not such a moronic little horror. I have also suggested that if it is getting too much for my son to cope with that he speaks to the coach and asks him to keep an eye on things. My son is so sensitive though and hates talking to teachers so whether he will is another matter. I may have to step in if it gets too much but I want him to deal with this first and hope he copes well.

Boy tips will be helpfull though.

PS to anyone I have not emailed with my new email address. I will get around to you. The old one is not working properly and I have not been receiving emails nor have emails been getting to their destinations. This has been a problem for months but I don't know how big a problem and am only just finding out the extent of it - YAHOO eat your heart out.

Future Posh Schools

Went to look at a possible senior college for my son on Saturday. I never thought I'd be looking at public schools and now I am considering THREE!

The one we viewed on Saturday has excellent facilities and excellent staff and there is no reason why we should not choose this school The only real reason not too is it's size is larger than we would like. The school would say it is an advantage, we would say it is a disadvantage. We will be looking at the most likely choice on Saturday and then our son's third choice but our daughter's number one sixth form choice, in two weeks time. I'm looking at finances to see how the hell we can afford to put two kids into public schools because my daughter wants to weekly board at sixth form. We need to presume our daughter will gain a place without a scholarship and the same goes for our son. It's a heady task.

Passwords

I'm always forgetting my passwords and as I'm changing them all the time it's a nightmare! I've currently banned my daughter from the computer but alas she had guessed my old password, (so my spy told me). I've had to re-adjust that one now and this means having to remember yet another new set of words......... It never ends.

My daughter thinks she has finally tidied her room to my satisfaction. Whether she has or not is another matter? I'm sending my spy up now........Let's see? This has taken her 14 years (lol) .....AHA it is reasonably tidy at long last! Apart from money on the floor which could give her enough to move out and put down a mortgage on a small flat. This has laid buried under the rubbish she's left on the floor for the past months.....Yes she is a messy pup.

So it's Sunday and my son has had his rugby training this morning. Next week the coach is giving him a lift to an away match as hubby is working. I can't do the driving and only wish I could. I'm going to get that driving lesson in hand controls and sort this out. Maybe then I'll be able to get myself to the hydro pool, my son to away matches and my daughter to her riding lessons. It is such a frustration.

Pain monster is behaving and I have to get in contact with a lot of people. I've been having problems with my email and it seems sometimes my emails are not arriving? There may be a problem with me not getting emails as well as this has happened before. I think it may be time to move away from my current email supplier and move on with a newbie? Need to sort that out today.

Governor Visits And All That

Why am I doing all this? Do I enjoy it? I suppose I do most of the time but I don't know if it's what I'm really cut out for for my much longer. I know I will need something else in my life if I let it go though.

My son is moaning about something or nothing.......Sorry but sometimes I wish that my kids would just learn to stand up for themselves. Oh that sounds cruel.....I'm tired and fed up with it all. It is always the same way every Friday. One minute good news then a bad bit followed by something else bad............Oh bloody hell. The good news is that he enjoyed his footie match the other day in which they thrashed the other school 8-O.

I love my children very much, very much indeed.

Out Of Mouths Of Babes

I've been on a Governor visit today and what an interesting one it was.


I visited the school council where we talked about health eating and chatted with an ex angry teacher......or should I say I let her vent her spleen? Sometimes it's good to do that but the problem was that I think the Headteacher may of heard some of what she said? I know this teacher is a bit of a nightmare and but I didn't know I was going to get pulled back by her and the Headteacher was not a happy man.....I know either he overheard OR he is not happy that I am aware of some documentation he did not want me to have?
I'm not going to give in to petty sulks and if someone has something to say then they should say it!

One thing though last term.......I nearly gave up being a school governor on more than one occassion. Am I ready to throw the towel in? Do I really want to put up with this sort of behaviour? The answer is no. I'm an adult not a child. Seems those kids are more mature than their teachers sometimes.

Rest In Peace Neighbour

My neighbour passed away. He was 68 and a dear man who was injured while serving in the navy many years ago. Since then he would shout out in the garden and confuse people who'd think he was crazy but we'd know he was perfectly sane, just affected by that injury and harmless and lovable. His life's journey is now at an end and he is now with his father, mother and sister in that great big heavenly place. He will be buried next week along side them all in his final resting place.

But has left behind his aunt who he lived with and his carer who I've been speaking with this morning. His carer felt that my neighbour was more like a father to him and is devastated by his death and at sixes and sevens not knowing what to do? He stayed with my neighbour in the hospital thinking all was going to be OK. His carer went home however at 1am he recieved a phonecall to say "get back" My neighbour had a massive heart attack and was probably unaware of what was going on. I hope so as he would have been very frightened. The staff had allowed his carer to stay late because it kept my neighbour calmer......Now I shall miss the shouting and his 6am walks to the shop, especially when he forgets where he lives and insists on coming into my house!

My friend's gran is 93 and she told me last week that she too was at death's door. I should suspect that her gran is now no longer here? It is so sad that death greets us all but sadly we all must die some day. My cousin said when he was about seven that "if everyone lived forever there would be no room for all the new babies who would need to be born". Classic words from a small child but quite true.

Little Maddie McCann was only 3 (if she is dead) when she lost her life. I hope she is alive but it looks as though she is not. I don't know how I feel about that.......There is mounting evidence and now which ever newspaper you read tells you a different story. One states that the hair found in the car is from a child who is dead the other says something else? What is true?
I don't get it anyway? That part of the story makes no sense. How did the parents keep the child secret for all of that time? Where did they keep her? It sounds like the Portuguese are clutching at straws to me. Maybe the McCanns DID play a part in their own daughter's death but this part of disposing of the body sounds silly and comical when it needs to be serious.

Life is so precious. Whether you live for 70 years or 70 minutes you need to make the most of it. Today my pain is lower for the main part. I'm making the most of it.

Sleepy Day

I am exhausted!

I'm so tired from too much medication over the past few days and too much emotion . Our poorly bunny is fine now and over his adventure to the vets and my son is gradually getting over his guilt.

Today is orchestra day and my daughter is back to playing her clarinet reguarly. I've got to wake myself up for that!

Sick Wabbit

Mr Jimjim the bunny is very poorly. I went out to him a little over an hour ago and he was quiet and nothing like the usual mad Jimjim we know. Normally I'd call his name and he'd play a trick on me and run around and look at me with his bunnyeyes and I'd give in with a treat. He's a super rabbit and right now I'm frightened something is very wrong with him.

My son had rather foolishly not left Jimmy with any water OR FOOD! I could not believe my eyes. Jimmy was obviously dehydrated and to keep him calm I put him back in his hutch rather than leaving him in his run. I've been feeding him water and tomato juice with a pipette. He hates the tomato juice but a rabbit expert friend says it is a great booster for bunnies.

Jim hasn't been getting any better and so I phoned the vet nurse for advice but really I wanted Jim seen by the vet as my instincts are frightened right now. I don't want to lose 'Mr Jimjim'.......He's part of our family! The poor bunny is so weak and it is not just because my son didn't leave his water out, I don't know if my son is using an excuse but he tells me Jim didn't eat much of his food from yesterday which is why he gave him more today; shame he left the food in Mr Jimjim's hutch! Also we know our lovely boybunny is definately not well when he hasn't eaten his treat and it has been left in his hutch.....Something is really wrong.

I know there are many things wrong in the world, People dying, Maddy's parents being suspected of involvement of her death, (how I feel on that I'm not sure?), but all I care about is a six month old rabbit.

Fight Mr Jimjim and say "Hello" (Sorry joke we have in our house) to Lulu when you get home. We all love you very much and mistakes will never happen like this ever again.

Jane Tomlinson Rest In Peace

Jane Tomlinson who was diagnosed as terminally ill with breast cancer seven years ago, has finally lost her battle for life. She was 43.

Jane was a married mother-of-three, who had raised a staggering £1.75m in a series of gruelling challenges in the last seven years since she was told she only had six months at the most to live. In June this year she was further recognised for all of her hard work and given a CBE for 'charitable services'.

I don't know what I would do if I was told I had a terminal illness? I have watched Jane's past seven years evolve on the TV screen and newspapers and I was hoping that maybe one day a cure would be found to save her. She deserved that. She was prepared to battle so why wasn't something there for her? She was an incredible woman and an inspiration to everyone with her indomitable spirit and amazing smile even though she must have been in desperate pain.

Jane definitely deserves those Angel wings. She was a truly wonderful woman

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2585103.stm

School Dinner Cheese Meltdown For Anyone?

400,000 kidlets have stopped eating in school canteens since the new healthy school system has been introduced. No wonder so many look like this fat suited version of Jamie here!

The problem is it has only been two years and you can't expect teenagers to change their whole diet if all they have at home is junk food. My son who has only just left primary school also said that children were swapping to packed lunches and that included those entitled to free school meals because they wanted burgers!

What sort of society do we have when kids are dictating over their parents as to what they are going to eat? I'm not being funny here but I tell my kids what they are having for dinner and they eat it. If they don't eat it then there is nothing else till the next meal. Yes of course somtimes I make cheeseburgers but they are homemade ones and I know what is in them. My kids also sometimes eat sweets but not all of the time!

Sadly most kids seem to want to stuff their faces full of crap. I hope healthy meals continue because healthy hearts, brains and bodies are more important for their futures.

Bad Night's Sleep But BRIAN won Big Brother 8

I slept fitfully last night. Too many things on my mind plus I was in a lot of pain. I imagine the pain increase is stress related as there cannot be any other reason?

I watched BB8 and was thrilled to see my favourite Brian win BB8 however I was strangely saddened that the twins could not share the win. They are sweet girls and I had felt too sweet to win but no one had nominated them throughout the who 13 weeks so they must of had something great within them. The bookies had the twins winning and I was shocked to see Brian claiming the title but as I said very happy. Some said he was putting on an act? I say I don't care. Gameplaying is all part of BB and if you play it well and do not hurt anyone else then surely that is OK? I don't think Brian was playing games anyway; I think he was genuinely stupid. (Said in the nicest possible way).

Arise King Brian, Yogurt Top of Essex.

I shall take it easy today and not do very much. My back is aching and I feel hellish. Oh Joy, wish I had £100k to make me feel better like good old Brian has - Plus looks like he has one of the twins on his arm too. Life could not be better for that Essex lad.

Goodnight Uncle Dave

My great uncle Dave passed away on Wednesday.

The last time I saw him was at my mother's funeral and the time before that was at my father's funeral. I suppose the time before that was at his mother's funeral and then the time before that was at my grandmother's (his brother's wife) funeral.

He wasn't my biological great uncle but he and my Auntie Kath stood by my grandmother when his brother left her back in 1976. I've always thought of that side of the family as my real family as well as the rest of my huge family. Although I hardly see them it is lovely to know they are there.

My aunt (my biological uncle's wife this time) left a message on my answerphone on Wednesday evening. We had gone off to France for the day and that was a disaster in itself. The strange thing was I had cried practically all afternoon. I thought it was because everything that could had gone wrong did but maybe it was because I was picking up vibes? I've always felt emotions when someone close or a neighbour has passed so who knows? I collected the message and knew instantly something was very wrong. I know this sounds really horrible but I have relatives in Germany and there is one great aunt I adore. I had a terrible fear that it may have been her name and I didn't want it to be her. She and I share our birthdate and in a sick way I was quite relieved it wasn't her and grateful it was uncle Dave. I know that sounds horrible and I'm so sorry to say that but I have to get my thoughts out somehow. I feel so badly for my auntie Kath, they were such a wonderful couple. I'm also counting blessings that uncle Dave went quickly because apparently he did not know he was even ill and he had CANCER! True fact. He went to the hospital in agonizing pain at lunch time and by early evening they had taken him to the hospice....By 7.18pm, I had a message to say he had passed away.

I dreamt in the early hours of this morning about a man who had died but it was not my uncle? I don't know who it was but I was obviously close to him and it was a strange old dream for me. I had a good cry about it all yesterday and have had a good cry today......My emotions are different for uncle Dave compared to other relations because I'm grateful he left this world quickly and also he was a good man who led a good life. There are not many like him in this world.

If you have a good person around you, give them a good hug and thankful for them. If you are that person then give yourself a pat on the back.

We will celebrate your life and if you don't mind I will send a donation to the hospice in your name rather than flowers. I've decided this is a gift I'd like to do in honour of my parents from now on.

RIP Uncle Dave